I just posted this comment on a trade article online; yet another piece on how not only is 2009 going to suck, but 2010? Is going to suck even more. Frankly, I have had it with the fear and panic and crystal-ball bullshit. It’s exhausting.
Anyone else getting really tired of self-fulfilling doom & gloom prophecies? The more we feed the fear and terror – the more those fears become reality. The monthly, weekly, daily clutching at one’s heart, on an individual and corporate level, is exhausting. On a larger scale, this economic panic parallels the inflated gas prices of last summer. The market artificially inflated pricing which sustained itself for a decent amount of time, despite having no real basis in reality. (shortage, etc.) How long are we as a nation going to allow this panic to immobilize us, and how much damage to we have to endure in the process?
Personally, I’m having a terrible week. Unable to talk or write about it. I tried yesterday, found myself caught in a silent space. I want to give voice to the feelings…..yet I see my own powerlessness and all my thoughts feel futile, despite the well-intentioned wishes, they become simpleton attempts to put attention on myself, look at my pain, my anxiety. Everyone has their own story and many have harder roads than I, so I set my jaw, carry my load, and try not to feel it all at once. I can say that the weariness of being an adult, being responsible, yet being unable to change things to what I want them to be, really really sucks. I’m reminded of how, just three years ago this week, I got the call from my father, telling me he had cancer. I wore down the earth, running at a brick wall. I’m doing it again and guess what? It still fucking hurts. And I can’t change a thing.
So I leave you with the wish I wrote yesterday.
that the world would stop
take a deep breath
take back our power
believe things can be better
and begin to climb upwards
curling hands together