PlazaJen: The Blog

Riding the Bike with One Pedal.

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Random Orts!

1. Hope springs eternal. You know how I know this? I signed up for International Scarf Exchange #6. Sigh. I just can’t help hoping for the best! And, I also signed up to be an angel, if someone (like me) gets dropped by her pal. Pay it forward and all.

2. Houlihan’s has this amazing Margarita Flight. You get three margaritas for under $10, and I’m not kidding, these are basically regular-sized margaritas, all with primo tequila. YUM.

3. It’s a small world. My new sales rep is best friends with a couple that we know and see a few times a year.

4. Every time I tell the story of a former boss (told to me by someone who came from there), I am going to cry from laughter. In addition to being a heavy drinker, at all hours of the day and night, apparently this person likes to target shoot (outside, on a farm). And invited some employees to come along and “blow off a little steam”. His way is what he likes to call his “Mad Minute”, where he RUNS while firing a non-stop stream of bullets from some AK-47-esque machine gun, and on this occasion, TRIPPED and the person who witnessed it thought they were all going to die. (I had to stop typing and come back because this image makes me laugh so fucking hard I almost get a headache.)

5. My buddy Kyra just got tazed, bro.

6. My buddy Beth just dodged a crazy-ass double-murder/double-battery/police-escapee trial. Wait! Correct that sentence structure. Dodged it by not being a juror!

7. I have not been selected for jury duty OR been tazed this year. Sigh. At least it’s still early.

8. I think this only makes hedgehogs more appealing. I love any creature that can become as addled as me. By simply a paper tube.

9. I am plotting and cooking up several ideas and notions. It’s exciting.

10. Tripper is a doofus and I adore him.
Tripper Duuuude.

James says I’m giving him low self-esteem by calling him a dope, or a doofus, but I say because I say it with love in my voice, it’s only helpful. He’s just still incredibly awkward, and he’s bigger than Polly now, so everything he does just has this dopiness about it, because it should have its own sound-effects soundtrack. Gallumph!! and Waaaah-woooouuuwwww and SPLAT! He’s a good boy. But a doofus.

Polly Agrees

Polly agrees.

Eyeballs, Boiled then Baked

That’s what it feels like, anyway. I’ve been staring at excel spreadsheets of email addresses and cross-referencing things so we can send out our new name announcement, and my eyes feel like they’ve been going through chef prep for some fabulous dish that eventually sees them bathed in butter and served with a side of baby asparagii. In other words, I got the tired eyes right now.

But despite that, I’m still getting things done. The day has zipped on by, and between lunch & cocktails after work, I feel like I’m reconnecting with the world again. I got together today with someone I hadn’t seen in years, things between us had been strained by a number of things, and we’d just let them drift. A chance encounter reconnected us, and after numerous voice mails to get together, we spent a lot of time catching up and remembering – some things we didn’t want to, other things that made us laugh. One of her friends that I’d known had drifted away from her, and we marveled at how that girl had planned out her life so much. I like to plan my days and my weeks? But I don’t plan my life. This girl was a gold-digger, and she married herself a doctor and had herself a baby, and it was all “according to plan”. A timetable. A checklist. I observed that living life that way felt to me like a recipe for disappointment and frustration. Maybe I just don’t have the drive to script it all. But I really think of all the things I’d miss. Because to be that driven and focused to machinate life events, force them to unfold, meet deadlines and acres of criteria and maybe that’s what you do, to acquire the things on that list, but what about all the things you miss? The opportunities that you turn away from, because they don’t fit The Plan?

My plan -which I reserve the right to adjust or change – includes something really attainable, like, oh, a margarita. And refreshed eyeballs. Which have been refreshed on so many levels, I wish I could articulate it all! (or would that be OCulate? Har har har.)

A Little Behind

I judge where I am in Life by how behind on my Bloglines I am. Uh, 558 unread. I got some catchin’ up to do. However, the other gauge I use is Laundry, and I’m doing ok on that front!

My BFF, F-4-EVAH girl Lizzie Lou came into town on Thursday, which is why I pretty much dropped off the face of the Internet world, because there’s that whole “living” thing you do. Actually, lest you conjure up images of discotheques and club-hopping, we were slugs. Super lazy, we moved at our own pace, we did lots of knitting, we got her going on a new sock project, watched bad movies, ate pizza, laughed our heads off, and generally remembered why we’d get matching tattoos, if we were the sort of girls who got matching tattoos. We also spent good times with Shelley and baby Kara, who is so flippin’ cute, and enjoyed the whole true-friends thang.

I think I might have set a record for myself, though, with Fastest Socks Knit:

Fiesta Boomerang Socks

Gotta love sport-weight yarn! These flew right off the needles, and onto James’ feet:
Sock Model

They’d have been done even sooner, but I didn’t like the heel flap (it felt too big), so I ripped it all out and did a short-row heel instead. He loves ’em!

And I love him. And my girlfriends, and life in general. Spring is coming, I don’t care if it’s going to be a meat locker tomorrow!

How To Get On The Awesome Husband List At Our House:

Sgt. Paul Hamilton

James went to Bass Pro’s big opening event last night, and had teased me the night before about all my studly friends from KC SWAT being there for autographs. (Remember my “lunch” with ’em?) James called to tell me he was on the Awesome Husbands list, but wouldn’t tell me anything else.

Probably because this one’s even AWESOME-R:

Sgt. Chip Huth

CHIP! And he even wrote about knitting. He told James he was glad to help any husband get on the Awesome List.

As if these pics weren’t enough, he also volunteered to go to the grocery store for me AND vacuum. (He has a snow day today). SWEET! Happy Knitting & Awesome Husband, indeed.

The Decline of Benefits

If you don’t want to read a rant about healthcare & insurance, then just keep on truckin’. Go look at Cuteness or KrazyKats. (seriously, I’ve had that Cute Overload pug in my bloglines since January, just for the laugh!)

I remember when your pharmacist not only looked at the other drugs you were taking, but thought about things, and gave you a recommendation or consultation whether you asked for it or not. As an aside to this rant, there IS a pharmacist at the Ward Parkway Target, who is flat-out phenomenal, and I want her to move into my house and give me advice all the time. But of course, I do my prescriptions through mail order (so as to save money) and therefore, for all I know, well-trained monkeys who managed to survive medical testing are filling and dispensing my prescriptions. Actually, given my recent experiences, I think I may have just insulted the monkeys.

Two months ago, my doctor phoned in a prescription, and the WHOLE POINT of using mail-order is to get a 90-day supply for the price of 60. Do people use the mail order for just one month’s worth? I didn’t think so, and you would think it might red-flag something, especially on a prescription that had been filled before at the higher quantity. Well, my doctor’s nurse screwed up and only ordered 30 days’ worth. A call to the insurance company put the blame back on the doctor. And my doctor’s office called, multiple times, to ask them to issue the remaining 60 days’ worth of medication, but they told them it was THEIR fault and they dispensed it as ordered, and there was nothing they could do. (See how deftly that works? They are responsible to… no one!) The very fact that my doctor’s office called me three times to apologize and own their part of the mistake, and the fact it’s a generic, made me go, ok, I’m not going to raise holy hell over this, and it’s proving once again that our friends in the insurance industry aren’t really our friends. (Such a life theme to learn!)

But what really gets me is this last Rx. It’s for an acne skin creme, because even as I approach 40, I still get to keep the joyful skin of my 16-year old self. I ran out, and I anxiously awaited the refill – my doctor’s office called me to confirm what I wanted, and the form I usually got it in (jar or pump? Jar, please.) And I waited. And waited. So I logged on and saw the order was in some “suspended” state. I call the insurance company. It went a little like this:

Me: Yes, I’m calling to find out what’s happening with this prescription.
Them: We are waiting for more information from your doctor.
Me: Huh? What do you mean? What information?
Them: Well, they wrote the prescription for “Benzaclin jar 90 day supply.”
Me: Ok…. so what’s the issue.
Them: Well, the pharmacist doesn’t know how many doses are in a jar. They don’t know how many jars to send. This could read as 90 jars.
Me: (Silence. Dumfounded.)
Me: So, usually I get 3 jars, you know, for 3 months. (Imagining myself with 90 jars and restraining laughter at the absurdity of it all.)
Them: (hostile tone) You go through ONE JAR a month? (a jar is… 25 grams. Just under one ounce. This is not a vat of cold cream, people.)
Me: (fuck-you tone) YES.
Them: Well, the pharmacist has to talk to your doctor.
Me: Have you told my doctor this?
Them: They have notified the office they need more information.
(This is a common response – FYI, if an insurance company tells you they have done this? It usually means they haven’t. I’m not kidding when I say that I believe my doctor’s office does everything in their power for their patients, and if I leave a message for ANYone there at any time, I get a call back the same day. If the insurance company tells me they’ve contacted my doctor, that means they gave the note to the rabbits the medical-tested monkeys stole on their way outta dodge, and it was promptly shredded. While someone laughed, maniacally.)
Me: Let me alert them to this.
And then they give me the doctor-only phone number, WITH an admonishment that it’s a phone line only for the doctor to use, I could almost hear the unspoken warning, “Don’t you think you can use that line to circumvent our intricate answering machine greeting, little bitch.”

So now it looks like things have been straightened out, and I am pretty sure I’m not getting a freight delivery of 90 jars of Benzaclin, but it’s reinforced – once again – that the only person really looking out for me? Is me.

Distinguished. Distinctive. Plus Glitter.

100_0340

Saturday night was the Kansas City Addy’s – an award show for all the local agencies. This year’s event was tremendously fun, especially compared to last year. The venue was great – Bartle Hall – and it was definitely more social. I ran into numerous former co-workers, and people I hadn’t seen in years, met some new people and I am not kidding when I say half of these people complimented me on my eyeliner.

Yep. Eyeliner.
100_0345 (see the sparkle?)

So, I’m almost 40, and I decided to glam it up a bit – the theme was James Bond/007, so I could get away with a little youthful dorkiness, right? I used some very sparkly dark purple glitter over my liquid eyeliner (have I lost my male readers yet?) and then She-Laq over it, so the glitter wasn’t going anywhere. Seriously, glitter is the most fun, ever. It’s even a really fun word to say…. glitter…. OK! Backing up though, before the event, and before the fourteen-mile walk to the event (hi, blisters), we had a small agency happy hour at a nearby hotel (if by “nearby” you mean “fourteen miles by walkway”), and that is where I discovered my new favorite drink: The Singapore Sling. Honestly, I picked it because the name is fun, and the first ingredient on the bar list was GIN. So few frou-frou cocktails use gin, most are vodka or rum based. When I ordered my :cough: third one (which was also my last), the bartender asked me if I enjoyed it. (Mistress of the Obvious! Yes!) She then when on to say it was a distinguished drink, with a distinctive taste, and not everyone cared for it. Boy howdy, use those words around me and I puff up like a pelican. They’re so … rarely used to describe me. Right up there with “Shy” and “Refined” and “Organized”.

Anyhoo, now I want to make these myself, and I discovered this nice source online that seems to be The Authentic Version – now I have to figure out how to get a Benedictine Monk into a bottle, and where one buys the stuff, but I figure my local Gomer’s would have it.

Oh, one last FYI about the glitter. It’s a bitch to get off your eyelids with that She-Laq. Ah, the price of beauty and distinction…..

100_0346
(With one photo, I provide evidence to the contrary.)

Happy Marketing Day!

I know, I’m IN advertising, and I love marketing that’s done right, but sometimes the whole commercialization of events and days that are supposed to be meaningful makes me j-j-j-jaded….

I don’t like the whole “Your husband/boyfriend loves you THIS much as quantified by the size of a bouquet and choice of flowers”. I really hated it when I was single, but being married doesn’t really change it. And yes, I do fall into the trap of “If you love me, you’ll buy me that” – mainly because it’s the entire fabric of my life, and how we did things at my house. Rewards were plentiful if you did what you needed, and to quote my dear father, “It’s better to have than to want.” I married someone who counterbalances my desire to own everything at Crate & Barrel. The Wo, he is a practical dude. Someday, though, I know he’ll buy me that french fry cutter. Maybe?

In any event, I can’t get behind the consumerism of Valentine’s Day, because flowers are overpriced, and even though I love to shop, I also love me a deal. I might buy myself some flowers at CostCo next time I’m there, because I’m starting to feel the weight of winter, and a bright cheery spot of something resembling Spring would be nice to see.

BUT! In the SPIRIT of Valentine’s Day, I’m going to tell you two little stories. The first one made me cry at my desk – a co-worker who sits by me came in my office and told me how much she enjoys hearing me answer my phone in the afternoon (James calls every day when he gets out of school.) She said, “You can hear it in your voice, how much you love him, your voice totally changes, and it’s what I want to have, four years, ten years from now.” (She just got married this past year.) Despite the feeling (a little bit) of being an old lady, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Tears brimmed in my eyes, not because I was embarrassed, but because she was right. I love James to the moon and back and around it a few times as bonus. He’s my rock, my soul mate, my ballast in the horrible storms I’ve weathered, the one who laughs when I parody Madonna and sing “Wrap you up in MYLAR”. Sometimes it just takes the simple act of a different person’s perspective for you to see what has become familiar (it often reveals something about them, too.)

So the other little story? I make James a lunch every day. (Lunches made with love!) I started going a little crazy with the sammich-making, all kinds of meats, fancy lettuce, pickles, mustards – I didn’t want it to be boring, day after day. He then told me he loves PB&J, and we had an interesting learning moment – for him, they’re a treat. For me, PB&J was always the last choice, what you had if you’d run out of everything else, and it symbolized bare bones and boring. Good to know! If the people want PB&J, by golly, give ’em PB&J! Just so I wouldn’t forget, I discovered this on the inside lid of his lunch box:

Lunch Box Love Note

As my dear Auntie Karen once said: Behavior that isn’t reinforced is rarely repeated. It’s probably why we thank each other constantly for all the standard things we each do around the house. And I know a certain fifth-grade teacher who will be getting a regular rotation of PB&J in his lunches from now on, too. :) As for everyone else – hey, I hear tomorrow’s a GREAT day to buy chocolates. Sales and all. Who loves a deal?!

Today Is Hereby Proclaimed "TTFLTDWSIFO" Day

That would be shorthand for, “Thank The Freakin’ Lord The Damned Writer’s Strike Is Finally Over” Day.

This article on TV Guide is being continually updated as the networks release the schedules for new shows. Hopefully this will hasten the end to American Gladiators and So You Want To Marry A Millionaire Assmunch On National Television And Are Willing To Eat Bugs To Win kind of shows.

We’ve definitely been playing lots more Wii during the strike, and I must say, I brought this game home last night:

The animation is amazing. And I have not laughed that hard, for that long, since I can really remember. James pointed out that the games really don’t involve much skill. Perhaps that is why I love them so. It’s just stupid funny. It will be a great party game, watching four adults “wash clothes & hold them up to check if they’re clean enough”…. all the while the rabbids are making crazy noises and looking ridiculous. There was one game where you are in an Old West setting and doing a quick draw against a cowboy rabbid. OMG. I laughed so hard I threw James off his game, along with my own. It’s not technically challenging or addicting the way Guitar Hero III is, but it definitely has its place! And yes, it does appear from that video box cover that it’s rated for users three and older. I’m regressing. But I’m laughing the entire way there.

Whirl Wind!

OK, there’s been a lot going on…. let’s start at the beginning, rather than the middle, mmmkay?

Friday Night Fish Fry. Well, this was a bit of a bust. We went back to St. Thomas More’s, where it all began for us, and they’ve changed their fish this year. The baked fish was pretty good, though rather bland, and the fried fish was resoundingly over-battered. And it wasn’t “battered” but rather “triangular-shaped fish object” and my first bite pulled away an empty corner of…batter/crust. No fish. Argh. Sides? Ok – your standard green beans, corn, and french fries, plus slaw & buttered boiled potatoes (which I do so love.) Desserts were once again run by the girl scouts, and I must say, the girl from last year who delightedly applied whipped cream decided to get industrious, and created a tray that she took from table to table, upselling people who perhaps weren’t going to mosey over to their table to choose a dessert. I had seen pecan pie, and she dutifully went back to get some. Pretty cute. But not worth a return trip, sadly. $8.50 per adult.

Sunday Blogger Meet Up. Well, is it really a meet-up if it’s just two of us, and we’ve already met before? Emma Liar is back in Kansas City, and had a hankering for Hooter’s chicken wings. So we got some.

100 Wings

I must say, the 3-Mile Island? Not hot enough. Dammit. It’s pretty sad when Pizza Hut’s “Blazin’ Hot” pack more punch than wings named for a nuclear disaster.

And after we got home, I busted my hump to finish the wristwarmers. I knit on them all throughout The Kingdom, which is a very stressful movie, I think, and if you’ve seen it, you’ll understand the jarring disconnect to turn that movie off & immediately see Jason Bateman introducing the Foo Fighters on the Grammys.

I knit so much, and so devotedly, that all my tiny little fine-motor-skills muscles ached. Even my ear ached, and I blamed the knitting. But I got up this morning & wove in the ends, and Bravissimo, here they are!

Toasty Arms & Hands

Even without my hands they cling to coffee

I can’t wait to knit another pair, but in finer-gauge yarn and smaller needles. Hello, have you met the Masochist who lives on CandyCane Lane? Yep, that’s me!

You Know What Today Is, Right????

Well, OF COURSE it’s Friday.

It’s the first Friday of Lent! And most of you know the Wo and I do not adhere to a specific faith, except any disciplines that are directly ordered from the Lamar Donut Church of Goodness. But a lack of religious organization in our lives does not prevent us from availing ourselves of any good celebrations. Or food. Thus, tonight begins our 2nd Annual stream of Friday Fish Fry Forays! I’m going to focus on reporting back more on the food and ambiance, vs. my own wide-eyed agog-ness that accompanied me to most of last year’s adventures. (We are working on getting tickets to that Cure’ of Ars shrimp boil in advance this year, but we are unsure how to get them short of going to mass, and that feels a little…disingenuous…plus I would totally get busted for not knowing the routine.) TGIF, and when I write that, I really mean it. Swear on a stack of Lamar’s.

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