This morning flew by in a blur. This afternoon seems to have ground to a halt and is moving forward as enthusiastically as a sea turtle on rocky terrain.

I was thinking about funny PackRat things, how you can tell a true addict – they say things like, “My kingdom for a camel!” or, “SHE STOLE MY PAGODA!” or, “Please don’t break my lock, please, I just need this one thing and then I can vault it.”

Yeah, it’s an addiction. Clever game, even more so in its simplicity and psychological hold.

OK, hubs just called and made me laugh like no other person can. Tears streaming out of the corners of my eyes, because he is addicted to Craigslist, and he has a line on some fencing & tomato cages. So he’s off to the manicured lawns of JoCo, with his truck & trailer, only the thing is, the trailer is half-full of crap he hauled up from the duck club, to dispose of on Bulky Item Pickup Day (next week). I told him he might get arrested. He countered with the visual that he was going to change his clothes & put on overalls…with no shirt. And added “Makes for great tan lines, too.” Weeping, weeping, what with laughing so hard. I told him he needed to blast the theme to “Sanford & Sons” as he rolls through the calm neighborhoods, and I followed up with sending the ringtone to his phone.

Now, if there was only a Magic Dinner Apparatus, life would be complete.

Courtesy of my husband. Cracked me up!!!

We awoke simultaneously, and instantly. Approximately 1:30 a.m.?
I looked out the windows by my side of the bed & knew instantly that this was not an ordinary thunderstorm. I rarely wake up during thunderstorms. The wind was so loud, and if you grow up in the midwest, all you ever hear is how an oncoming tornado sounds like a freight train. The branches in our back yard were bending and whipping in directions atypical for a regular thunderstorm. James was looking out his window as well, and when I asked if we should go to the basement, I felt sick when he said, “Yes.”

The power flickered off and on, going off completely as Polly & I went downstairs. James got Tripper out of his crate, then we both called for Suzy….aaaaabsolutely not. Ms. Suze does not leave her pillow willingly! By this time, the power was back on, and we watched the small television to see the radar & the local weatherman calmly explaining what was going on. I must say, Brian Busby’s calmness helped a LOT. Most of the weather people in town get really agitated and alarmed, but when you’re standing, blinking, in your basement, wondering if your home is going to rip up around you, a calm voice is really helpful. James is incredibly smart about weather, and when he saw the straight line of the storm, he relaxed & reassured me it wasn’t going to be as bad as we both feared. I felt tears spring into my eyes, as the adrenaline slowly waned. My legs were shaking, and I had the image of being 3, living in Knoxville, IA, and the only other time in my life I’ve been scared out of my gourd about a tornado. My father told us to go to the basement, and as my mother & I huddled together, growing more fearful each second he didn’t join us, I remember my legs quivering and shaking. He joined us, with a radio, and that storm passed, too.

There were some areas hit pretty hard by the line of storms – buildings & homes destroyed; we were very lucky. The only funny moment came as we trundled back to bed; James observed we learned who the Captain of our house is: Suzy.

Totally going down with the ship.

Today was one of those rat race days – making me so glad it’s almost Thursday. I got lots of unpleasantness done today, which means the weekend approach moves should be a little more relaxed, a little less stressful. I do have one business thingy that will “go down” tomorrow, but I view it as conflict resolution, and I already know what I will ask for in the event things don’t go my way. Point, counterpoint. It does help when logic is on your side. I couldn’t even explain it all if I tried, but suffice it to say, it’s the same old song and dance of salesperson-boss-client-agency, and my job is to make sure my client is happy, and if I can’t get them that, I can at least make it clear the lengths to which we went in the effort to obtain ‘happy’.

OK, I have more to say? But I’m out of time. I’ve been away from this for almost two hours! See ya tomorrow – after I kick a li’l ass….

….to use freezer paper.

I have no idea what this person is doing, but I must say, it was a fresh alternative to beanie babies peering back at me.

OK, I know most of you know that I can fall victim to the belief that the Next Big Thing can truly change my life in every way imaginable. If I accrue enough plastic tubs and storage items, when the tipping point is reached, then I will finally become organized. Know where everything is. You know …. kinda impossible. But I do keep the hope alive.

That said, I did discover a product that has made a huge difference in my life. And I love it/them. And so far? After two weeks? They’re still working for me, and I’m a lot more organized, at least in one small area of my life. What is it? Well, it’s these flocked hangers. Prior to these, I was using oversized/large plastic hangers, and discovering that I still had to fold clothing over the lower bar of the hanger for it to stay on. Much of my wardrobe is knits, and many of those are slinky/slippery/smooth fabric and they just won’t stay on a hanger. So I found that much of my wardrobe was not visible to the eye and everything took up twice as much space, if not more. And I thought I’d give these a go. Well, hell’s bells, they work like a charm. I even got a set of the pant hangers & draped my skirts on them. Now, when I look at my side of the closet, I can readily see all of my tops and make a choice based on a visual cue, versus relying on memory or a vague recollection. You can’t use them for wet clothes, so I’m employing the plastic hangers down in the laundry room, and switching the clothes over once they’re dry. They’re also super skinny, so a lot more fits in the space. And shirts aren’t falling off to disappear at the back of the closet! I love ’em. There’s my toot-toot for those hangers. (I know, I’m no Billy Mays!) I’ve seen them at Target, but I know with my 20% off coupon for BB&B, the 50 hangers for $32 was a pretty sweet deal.

In other news, we are still waiting for Tripper to outgrow some dastardly puppy behavior. He loves to chew. Chew, chew, chew. And we have all sorts of bones – real and faux – but left to his own devices, he has destroyed many a random thing. A new rubber rug from Target lost a corner in just a few minutes of being left in the house alone – a plastic thermometer, a screwdriver, and yesterday, he took a plastic milk jug (James uses them in the greenhouse & the coldframe) and destroyed it to a million little pieces. He’s like our own live shredder. But does he take the credit card offers and junk mail that needs shredding? No. He had an old paintbrush that was actually pretty comical to see, as he ran around with the brush end sticking out, like he was off to whip up his next masterpiece. And on Saturday, he got ahold of a knife of James’ (he likes to go into James’ workshed and root around for oddities that an ordinary lab wouldn’t discover). So he’s running around with this plastic-handled pocket knife (open!) looking like a goddamned pirate, without his eye patch. I quickly got that away from him and into an up-high, inaccessible spot. And we have to put the lid on the trash down, or else he’s in there, discovering things like cream cheese wrappers or the ends of baby bok choy. I just shake my head. No magic solution for this except time – and vigilance!

I really can get quite giddy when people think I’m stupid. Sometimes, I get pissed, or truly angry, or even upset for long periods of time, but there are certain situations when people think I don’t see things, or have the inability to perceive things correctly, or that they can outright lie to me while patting me on the head like the Grinch did to Cindy Lou Who.

And while I may bristle a bit at the head patting (condescension is SO not the path of headway with me), I absolutely laugh, nay, CHORTLE when someone thinks I’m blind as a bat (and you have siiiight).
(abrupt subject change)

Speaking of blind mice, have you played PackRat on Facebook? That is the devil’s online game, and I am cursing the day Kristin invited me to play. As James curses me, for getting him to play it. Frankly speaking, I need more friends so I can steal things from you, so let me know if you’re out there & playing it. How’s that for forthright?

Meanwhile, I’m chortling away this afternoon. I may have a gajillion faults and weaknesses, but stupidity is rarely the cause.