Category: work (Page 5 of 5)

I am taking out things on my to-do list with the vengeance of a gun-slinger who knows she only has 48 hours to live.

Wait, that sounds frightening. I’m not dying. I just have a LOT to do, and it’s made me extremely anxious, so the best coping mechanism I know is to start systematically taking things out, one at a time. Blam! Blam! Kerpow!

Our dinner Friday night at the Capital Grille was truly lovely (and delicious), though I am not sure if it was something I ate, or a bug that I caught, because ever since, I have been in the throes of what you might call “stomach flu” or “lower GI distress” or “Did you drink the water in Mexico?” Good lordy. I am not a happy camper and so I find that just sitting very, very still is the only coping mechanism I know. I’ve taken every over-the-counter medication possible with little-to-no success. I’m not going into any further details because, as our friends from A Mighty Wind say, that’s dessert talk.

Oh, and I have a client meeting and I’m all uber-casual cool, with a lace wrap top & jeans and FLIP FLOPS because I have to show off my bright blue toenails. Guess who forgot she had a client meeting today? And is still in the process of doing laundry? Why, you are all so smart, look at you pointing at me. Silly Jen! Did it again! But my boss said I would be fine as long as :I: was comfortable, given that the office is somewhat swanky. (Where we’re going. Not ours.) Listen, buddy. I get insecure like everyone, but I will rock the flip flops. And maybe even work in the longtime goal of using the word “crackwhore” in a meeting. It’s called going for broke. BLAM! Cross it off!

Last night, our local Ad Club held the annual “AdWars” trivia contest. A year ago, we came in second to last, so we didn’t hold out any wild hopes of first place, but we DID set a goal for ourselves to get to third from last.

Sadly, we came in last place.

It might have had something to do with all the free beer. People at our table grew increasingly distracted (setting fire to the chopsticks, for example), and it was more a group gathering with chatter & laughter than an actual competition.

Losers at the trivia, Winners in Life. It was a lot of fun, and earlier in the evening, I started to get warm & assumed, as usual, it was FLSS (Fat Lady Sweating Syndrome), but several of my tablemates also confirmed it was unusually warm in the room. Right after that, a chipper young thing came up & asked me if I had bought my raffle tickets yet. Never missing an opportunity to negotiate for what :I: want in life, I said, “Hon, if you can get the a/c turned on? I will buy raffle tickets from you.”

Off she scampered. And within a few minutes returned to tell me they were locating the thermostat & taking care of it. So I bought $10 worth of tickets, shortly thereafter, we felt the air kick on, and I felt it was worth the ticket price alone. But don’t stop there – I later actually won THE one thing I wanted – a gift box from Indigo Wild – filled with 9 different soaps! Zum Yum, baby! I was quite happy, and apart from being hungry, the night was a true success. (If you’re starting a party at 5:30, you simply have to have enough food to constitute “dinner”, otherwise you end up with a table of shrieking drunks. Just a handy little Martha tip for party planners everywhere!)

That said, the food was quite delectable. Little slices of fried beef & chicken legs from En Chamas, which had just been reviewed in the paper & sounds freakin’ awesome! Then there was cornbread & chili from another place, and they ran out of cornbread AND the little beef slices in half an hour.

Also, at some point in the evening, I became the table’s Sue Johanson, which was simultaneously amusing and uncomfortable. Must be because I was the oldest person at the table (by a few months, but still.) I had to make a phone call to the Wo to look up a definition & then had to hang up abruptly because we could have been disqualified (even though my question had nothing to do with the ad trivia!)

All in all, a fun night with co-workers & it made for some amusing chatter today as well. One other person won a raffle prize – Queen’s Greatest Hits – so I’ll have to roll that through the iTunes rotation sometime today. Because We Are The Champions, my friend.

We went to Omaha yesterday for a market trip – we have an awesome client up there, and we wanted to get into town & meet all the people we’ve been talking to on the phone for several months.

Rather than impose on our client’s space, we decided to find an outside place to meet all these salespeople. At one point we thought maybe just parking ourselves in a Starbucks would work. But my boss said, no, go ahead & spend a hundred bucks & get a meeting room with beverage service, etc., it’ll be better for everyone, including us. So I did. Went online, found what looked to be a very nice place, and when I called, they were very accommodating & inexpensive. So we booked the Nottingham room and started telling folks to meet us there & to wear their Robin Hood garb.

When we pulled up yesterday, it was all shades of the last business trip and the hotel was a castle. Except this hotel looked more abandoned and run down, and without all the castle-theming. But the surprise and oh-my-gosh factor was the same! To the hotel’s credit, they were EXTREMELY nice. And our room had its own bathroom, though the fixtures had been removed from the tub, giving it a bit of a hard-times and on-the-run-in-Mexico flair. There was glitter confetti on the floor (in the bathroom), so something fun must’ve happened at some point. But all our reps were a little shocked, I think, that we were there. Hey, I say we just showed them we’re fiscally responsible & not some big flashy ad agency rolling into town and demanding the Presidential Suite.

Let’s see. Highlights.
We left on time, but it still took us more time to get there, in part because of stops, construction, and traffic once we hit the city. So I will go on the record and state unequivocally that Mimi Murano has some serious get-up-and-go when the rubber needs to meet the road. We rolled into Omaha and I drove like we’d robbed a bank. My passengers did a little screaming, but the driver they know & loved kept them entertained with a stream of profanities directed at certain other vehicles who could not commit to a lane.

My favorite part of the day was getting settled in & then going back out in a sales rep’s car for two hours to look at outdoor boards. I’m kind of done with car riding/driving long distances for a little while. We also saw all sorts of po-po and troopers and I’m pleased to report that no tickets were issued on the trip.

Punchy was the theme on the way home. We discussed the length of time it’d taken us to get there that morning, and I think I said something about how someone should’ve worn Depends, could we learn NOTHING from the astronauts? And then the last hour of the drive was spent leapfrogging with the craziest old lady driver who refused to use her cruise control and alternately drove at 65 mph and 85 mph. Oh, and if you ever get the chance to listen to Kristin sing along to Weezer? It’s the greatest. I think the very loud volume at which she belts out the chorus is what truly makes the difference between “good” and “great”.

Needless to say, I’m one happy camper that today’s Friday. And that I’m not driving anywhere this weekend!

That’d be my work computer. Thankfully, we have a new one on the way, but in the meantime, it’s somewhat akin to interacting with a 79-year-old angry woman who is insisting on wearing a beekeeper’s hat and a muumu and tries to shout her drive-through order at the post office drop box. I saw that Kristin was sending me a Spark message (our interoffice chat software) and yet? I couldn’t open it up. Or rather, I could open it, but all I got was a big white screen. So, I reverted to my Usual Form of Chat Software, which is talking loudly over/through the wall that separates us. I continue to defy the concept of CHAT.

And don’t even ask Madge (that’s what I’m going to call this computer until she leaves me) if she wants to play the iTunes. I might as well play the autoharp in the deep end of the pool. Freezing, paralysis, general confusion and threats of shutting down completely ensue. I thought perhaps it was just a phobia against “fun” things that make my workday enjoyable, but Madge also has a deep-seated hatred of anything Adobe, and plays russian roulette when I open Excel.

The good news is, my IT folks are fully supportive of an Office-Space-esque Michael Bolton full-on freak out on this machine once Madge II gets here and is up and running. Until then, I’m just going to let her wear her crazy outfits and speak in soothing tones and hope she doesn’t spread her gospel of confusion and hatred to the printer/photocopier.

So, everyone’s all about the basketball. The entire office gathered at lunch to eat D’Bronx pizza, salads, brownies the size of a small child, and watch the basketball game. Since we’re also participating in one of the bracket-thingy competitions on-line, complete with a message alert feature for trash-talking, I have a vague interest, but listen up, it’s not like somebody started frying bacon in the kitchen. This stuff is just an excuse to squawk and participate in Office Stuff, because I may know something about football, and could follow baseball if I had an inspiring team, I do not give a rat’s patoot about basketball. I literally feel my eyes lose their focus when it’s on and I start to go to my Happy Place. Which today included a really good balsamic vinaigrette, and a fantastic chocolate brownie.

My brain is feeling a little fried right now. Actually, crumbly. I can’t quite keep straight what day it is, and I could have fallen asleep during the last rep meeting I had. I’m going back to the doctor tomorrow for all the fun annual stuff (and I say “fun” in the same way I’d describe having your shoulder dislocated as “fun”.) But I’m also going back because even though I’m better? I’m not better, and I’m still coughing at night. So so tired of that. All these teenagers, with their three weeks of hiccuping or two weeks of sneezing, let’s talk about SIX weeks of the most irritating cough, and no, I don’t smoke. But who gets the press coverage? Who’s got a unique, wacky situation? The blasted teens.

So I’m really excited about the presentation I’m about to go into – because Kristin somehow thinks I might lose my mind and try to fight someone. I think there are better (and more likely) candidates for that job around these parts, including one person who just informed me that the smell of patchouli makes her “crazy”. Makes her “wanna fight”. I said it was like her own special catnip. (The aforementioned rep was wearing some scent that smelled like a combination of Lysol and Patchouli. Lychouli?) And Kristin? Let’s talk about how both times we’ve gone to Half Price Books at lunch, she’s had her Special Friend parked in the crafts section, talkety-talk-talk-talkin’ and what are the odds of that? I don’t have a Special Friend at the Half Price Books. And, I don’t think I’m going to get into a fight today, mainly because I like to stay employed, but also because I seem to have been shot by a tiny blowdart filled with tranquilizers and psychedelic mushrooms, and I get to spend the afternoon swimming through the corn syrup of my mind. Or cheese. Whatever metaphor I’m going with at the moment.

OH but I will say, if I ruled the world, we would know who Dannielynn’s daddy was, there’d be no more of this court bullcrap, Anna Nicole would be buried by now, and we would all just ignore Britney, including the paparazzi, until her hair is once again shoulder-length. Naturally. My apologies to my friend Cindy who has given up celebrity gossip for Lent. Must lie down. Now. THAT’S gonna look 100% classy when they roll through on the tour…….