Month: March 2006 (Page 1 of 4)

So, I took a half-day of vacation today, and kicked it off right by doing the next best thing to a spa day: shopping at CostCo! I procured many things, some were essential (batteries, potatoes), others were not (mangos, smoked salmon I thought was really cheap but wasn’t!) (I mean, technically, it’s still a good deal, but I thought the price was per package, instead it was PER POUND. Whups!) And, after losing numerous eBay auction bids on a copy of Sims 2, I decided to go through every box of video games for PS2. Persistence pays! I finally found the game. And JWo & I have spent the entire evening playing it.

What an unbelievable step up from the computer version we have. (several years old, admittedly.) It also helps to have a biggish TV, too. All of the technical advances and high definition, however, only make it more frustrating when all I do is CRY ALL THE TIME. I swear, if I’m not sobbing, I’m peeing on the floor, and more often than that, tipping over from exhaustion and passing out anywhere, really, the street, the floor, the boardwalk, the bedroom. My Sim hits a point where she will not even do what I tell her, even if it’s exactly what she needs, like “SLEEP”. So I have to wait for her to pass out, get enough rest in that very uncomfortable position, and then try to get something done to make life better. It took almost an hour to recover from my almost-in-toto absence of all life necessities, and now I’m only lacking in socialization, and let me tell you, walking around weeping is not the fastest way to make friends. Timon actually hates me, and yet he was the only person I could find to talk to, so I’m trying to turn that situation around. JWo is doing just fine, by the way, and he’s developing skills much faster because, well, he’s not passed out on the floor with flies buzzing around his head for half the game.

Have I mentioned just how much this is all a little reminiscent of my sophomore year of college? Weeping, passing out, lacking focus…. everything but the flies….

If someone thinks I’m smart, and lets me know it? In non-overt, cloying ways, of course, then I am veritable putty in their hands. Vanity, thy name is Jennifer. Preen, preen!

I was heading out the door to a client meeting this morning, and a different client was in the conference room. He stopped the meeting, waved me in, just to say hello & introduce me to his business partner. I can only attribute it to the fact I’ve been in a couple meetings with him, had some crazy unique ideas, combined with the fact I understand his business & consumer, and he sees all that & values what I think. Those moments for me are identical to the feeling when I’d actually connect with the softball, launching it over the heads of all those idiots who saw “fat girl” at the plate & moved in real close for the “easy out”.

Like a fucking cockatoo. Puffed up and proud. That’s Me! Preening aside, I’m having a good day. Despite Sephora not opening today.

Boy, I’ve been a bit of a slacker on the blog. Work’s just flippin’ crazy. But it’s fun, and how many people can say they spent the end of the day barking like a dog, only to have your front desk manager wave wildly at you because you (didn’t realize you) have clients in the conference room?

Not many, I bet.
(Dammit! I was telling a story. I get swept up in the drama and the moment, and I was illustrating how our big boss’ dog will come in to your office and bark at you at inopportune times, like when you’re on the phone. That happened to me! And it was funny! So, I threw in the loud barking to illustrate the situation. WHUPS.)

Tomorrow, my highlight will be lunch, which used to be my only highlight at my last job. I never thought that was really a good sign, y’know? When the only thing you have to look forward to is….. lunch? Not good. Anyhoo, we are finally getting a Sephora in Kansas City (and by gum, a Crate & Barrel is going in out south, too, I will be taking the whole day off for that). Now, I just went online to confirm the date I was told, and there’s no hard & fast information confirming that tomorrow is, indeed the date they’re opening. PANIC at the DISCO, I must pause to do some research.

OH mah god. It doesn’t open until April 7th. I called the mall. I nearly barked at them. I don’t think they would have understood. And I’d hate to get blacklisted before the grand opening… heh. Banned for Barking! Well, then! Tomorrow: World Market for lunch! It’s not the same, but it’s closer. And I have a coupon…. and…. in that area of town? Barking? Not so odd, actually.

Monday was a lovely day, with the whole facial-massage-mani-pedi treatment at a local day spa. I realized over the weekend that even though I do my share of lying around & knitting, watching TV, and now, playing PS2, I maintain a constant internal hum of stress. Forcing myself to relax was challenging, and of course, a good thing. (I kept trying to see what time it was, though. They keep the clocks out of view on purpose!) And, as soon as I got in the car, I called work just to make sure nothing was burning down. It wasn’t.

So last night, JWo & I each had some popcorn, and we were sitting opposite each other in the living room. He had spilled some early-on, and the dogs were anxiously awaiting a second spillage. He stopped eating his & I gave each dog a few kernels of mine. That made Suzy fixate on me like a cat watching a winged bird in the yard. James started zinging kernels of popcorn at her & Polly, and Suzy KEPT STARING AT ME. Polly was skittering all over the place, snarfing up the popcorn, while Suzy just stared at me, waiting. It became the funniest game EVER. I’d hold up popcorn like I was going to throw it, and there’s my Suzy, staring, eyes big & dark, ears up, and James is pinging her on the head with a kernel coming in from offsides. She was SO CONFUSED. (She did get some, of course, but it just never seemed to come from my hand.) It took 10 minutes for her to finally figure out the popcorn was NOT coming from me, and we finally had to stop because our sides hurt, we couldn’t see from the tears in our eyes, and we’d missed the entire beginning of “24”.

We thanked her later for being so funny. I’m trying to figure out how to turn her into a spa service & make a gajillion dollars off the therapeutic laughter she creates.

Today, one of my dearest friends is quitting his job. He’s got a new one, better, more money, closer to home, yadda yadda, and I couldn’t be happier for him. I was reminded that my own emancipation proclamation took place about a year ago, and I had to go back into my archives to look up exactly when. Tomorrow, in fact. March 28, 2005 was the day I gleefully, joyfully, bitterly & blissfully left my last job. There have been some rough patches since, of course, but nothing compares to what I left behind. I gave myself six months to get over being so pissed off, and a year later, I can honestly say, I don’t get too wound up about it anymore. Would I be the first to grab a violin if the place started to burn? You bet your bippity, baby. I can take the high road a lot, but the urge to chortle will never leave me.

I’ve got today off, with a spa day planned. My stress the past few weeks has been pretty high, what with all the work & the new business, and some choice people who’ve managed to find my buttons & punch them. I still really like my job, I’m hopeful for the future & what we’ll end up doing. That said, the fact I’m missing the Monday status meeting & instead, getting a massage & a facial? Chortle, chortle!

All that aside, I’ll leave you with this: I had two dreams last night, feel free to interpret what you will. The first, a sales rep called me at home to try to finalize this buy I’m going to finish when I go in tomorrow. I went APE SHIT on her. Gee, not a lot of depth to plumb there, interpreters. But the second? I was cleaning out my ears with a Q-tip? And kept getting grass clippings. Lots of them. Think I’m coming down with Spring Fever?

So, JWo bought a PlayStation2 on eBay & we have it hooked up to the wonderful big TV. He’s playing the family-friendly game “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas” on it (came with the PS2), and he also got a car racing game with it. My contribution was to go buy wireless controllers, a violent motocross game that allows you to beat each other up with crowbars while riding on a dirt bike, and then BACK out to buy AAA batteries for the dang controllers.

(I thought the motocross game might add benefits to our marriage, you know, build some communication skills. ;) )

I so missed this whole gaming boat. My knowledge of gaming is 1) Tetris on the computer, 2) Sims on the computer, and 3) SEGA! With my beloved Sonic the Hedgehog. And let me tell you, unlike GTA:San Andreas, Mr. Sonic does not “jack” people out of their cars, cause blood to fly around, or participate in gunplay.

Here is a comprehensive list of what I’ve learned in the past 24 hours:
*My thumbs hurt.
*Time flies by in the blink of an eye.
*JWo is much better at the gaming than I am.
*I have a tendency to drive in circles, and I also fight that way.
*I do not win many fights.
*I do not win many races.
*I believe if you lean forward on the couch and stretch out your arms, it will help you cross the finish line faster.
*I believe in honking my horn, A LOT.

Really, it’s just like real life! (I AM getting the Sims2, so I have something I can excel at….. those Sims can SHOP.)

Just a few random observations from the big trip yesterday:

We rode in my boss’ minivan. It has those automatic sliding doors on either side? After we stopped for gas, I started to get back in, decided to throw out my trash, and as I was getting back into the van, he shut the door on me. (Thinking I was already in.) There’s nothing like mechanical apparatus panic & seeing your life flash before you while a minivan door is going to kill you, and while I never thought to look around, I’m sure some people got a big ol’ laugh yesterday. (Don’t worry. Everyone in our car did.)

The presentation went very well, and that’s all you can ask for in this business.

I started a very fun slip-stitched Noro scarf. I’ll post an in-progress picture at some point! Today, I am sort of walking around the house like a zombie.

Men and women listen to the radio differently. Men can also follow basketball games on the radio. It puts me in a trance. Psychotic trance, in fact. Might still be in it today.

Popcorn, slim jims, Coors Light & pretzels? Does not a dinner make. I exclaimed at one point we needed a bigger expense account. Or was that complained? It’s all a blur.

I discovered nobody in the car has a secret fear of being wrongfully imprisoned, except for me. However, for the first time, I found someone else who shares my fear that when around a police officer, I worry I will have a complete mental break & try to get their gun. I’m not alone! But now it’s “Crazy, party of two.” Good thing he’s my boss, hm?

Happy Friday. I expect I’ll wake up at some point. :)

We’re off on a new business pitch today, and I’ve got to go find a knitting project for the trip. (I know! I owe you some finished object pics – the Opera scarf & my beaded cable socks!)

It’s going to be a long day, but there should be some fun times, too. And then? Four-day weekend! And JWo will be home tonight! (He’s been on Spring Break down at the lake, fishing, playing poker & I envied the extremely mellow sound in his voice on the phone last night. By gum, I’m gonna have that sound by Monday!)

I’ll be a little more entertaining & a little less STRESSED tomorrow. Promise!

I sure do appreciate everyone’s patience with me, especially this week. I think my blog-identity is as multifaceted as the chart in Sybil’s file at the shrink. Supposedly, this blog’s about knitting. Which I do, every day! Sporadic crafting, which I do, sporadically! But I seem to write more about everything that irritates me, along with all my misty-colored memories. And then sometimes I have to search my blog to make sure I’m not getting all golden-years hazy on you and telling you the same old story about how my daddy taught me to handle the wild dogs of Northern Iowa.

Right now, I’m burning the candle at both ends, work-wise. When I get home from work, I collapse in a heap, grab some knitting & watch TV. My life right now doesn’t exactly make for a spectacular blog entry: Woke up, went to work, screamed at stupid drivers (I do! Every day.) Worked. Came home. Ate meal, played with dog, watched tv, did dishes. Woohoo! I mean, in the end, I don’t think having a blog is about having a glamorous life and writing about it. I like to expound on my ideas, my philosophies of life, what I’ve learned, what makes me tick & what makes me crazy (Bad drivers! Always!) & I know that through blogging, I’ve made some great friends, entertained current ones, and oddly enough, sparked a flurry of comments on the topic of bonnets.

I’m going to take Friday & Monday off, so I stay out of Two Rivers Psychiatric Hospital. It’s more of a public service & workplace safety decision, I’d say. Tomorrow is a big new biz day, and when I get home? I’m pouring myself Patron on ice, and saying “Hello, Four-Day weekend. You look GOOD.” And before I can even leer like a fifty-year old man at the titty bars, I’ll fall face-first into bed to, hopefully, sleep uninterrupted for at least 12 hours.

OoooooOOO! I could just slap somebody!

Let’s see. I won’t. But I sure could! OOOOO! Even an impartial viewer said it was a diss. But there wasn’t any graceful way to handle it except to Miss Manners Rise Above It, and good goddamn sometimes, I sure would like to just get my scrappy-do out and out-bitch the bitch. But, reason must prevail…. and don’t worry, I’m not goin’ soft or nuthin’. I once got a little lecture at the old place that I could cut to the core with my sharp tongue, and I about fell off my chair, considering the lecturer was the KING of tongue-lashings, not to mention, I had been biting mine. Not that I wouldn’t love to see the reaction, especially now that I SEEM to be a pacifist. MY ASS. Pacifist of my underpants. Bite my big-ass peace treaty RIGHT HERE, beyotch. So when the lesser person lets loose with their little barbs or observations, I try to just inhale, and remind myself that just because I have a tart sharp tongue does not mean I get to use it, or that it would ultimately further MY interests to do so, and that’s really the bottom line.

Some days, though, it’s like having a motherfuckin’ bazooka mounted on your car and it would only take one little punch of a button to blow the offending car in front of you right out of your way. Yet you don’t. Because bazookas are not street legal. Nor, really, is my mouth. This should be filed under “potty-mouth blogging”. I’m going to bed now. It’s not good to watch the Shield and then blog. I get all Vic Mackey and pit-bullish.