Month: January 2008 (Page 1 of 2)

OK! It’s like I posted this super sad, melancholy post & then fell off the face of the earth. My brain’s preoccupied with a few things – work, higgledy-piggledy things in my life, crazy people on the internets (do you KNOW how many crazy people are out there? A LOT.) So I’m distracted, and several of the wheels that spin on blog posts and topics have been diverted elsewhere.

I did think I should note that for all the railing and screaming and bitching about bad drivers that I do, I also try to be kind to deserving drivers. You know, like letting some poor sap in who’s gotten stuck behind a broke-ass volvo in morning rush hour. (I do NOT, however, let in the asswipes who race all the way up to the “Lane Closed” sign and then try to cut in.) And two days ago, some more schmo almost had me in his back seat because none of his brake lights worked. Well, scratch the “none” – the tiny sliver of red on his trunk worked, but nothing else. So I managed to pull up alongside him, and waved at him to roll his window down. Poor dude. He had to lean over to make the passenger window descend. I told him about his brake lights (after all, we’re all just avoiding the po-po, right? No need to get pulled over and have a coronary) and then about two miles later, I was stopped & waiting to turn & I happened to look over and there he still was, alongside and waving a thank you. Made me a little happy. Just to make a small bit o’ difference. And to maybe counterbalance all the righteous indignation I have against those who pull halfway into the intersection, as though it’s perfectly acceptable, natural even, to align their FACE with the curb, not the front end of their car. WTF? Dude, that’s an awesome way to lose the front half of your car. I have plenty of insurance, and I can draw an accident report on graph paper like nobody’s business. Oh, a quick search of my archives shows I’ve never told that story. Whups. Well, ok, here goes, really quickly (the reason this is called White Rabbit is because I’m already late for a party. Whatev! I live to be late.)

I was living in Minneapolis, and there was one street near the Art Museum that cut through a big main street at a jog. As in, you pulled up to the light, and when it turned green, you veered over to the right (or left) to maneuver through the intersection. It was a full street’s width “off” from going straight through. SO one day, I’m driving home from work (on the big main street), in the right-hand lane. (Four lanes wide, mind you.) This car pulls up to the intersection, I see the driver looking towards me, and what does she do? Pulls right out in front of me. Well, ok, holy crap, but I immediately changed lanes. As did she. Only SHE came to a complete stop & put her turn signal on to “turn left”. My front driver’s side hit her back passenger’s side, as I did everything in my power to once more careen out the lane she’d chosen, but this time, unsuccessfully.

I was pissed. And shaking. I hadn’t been going that fast – 30-35? and I got my insurance information out & right there, a little card, told me what to do. And what not to do. So these two girls get out of their car (I am so late for this party now, but I’m caught UP! In the storytelling!) and I say, “Are you ok?” And they’re grabbing their necks and whining and all up in my grill for hitting them. I remain silent. The police come. They’re unenthusiastic, it’s a fender-bender, and I’m really steamed because I’d always heard that when you rear-end someone, it’s always your fault. The police ask the girls if they’re hurt. (and me, too, but I’m filled with fear, indignation & shock and decline help.) The driver says, “Well, our necks hurt REAL BAD.” The cop asks her if she wants an ambulance. She says?
“Well, we’re on our way to look at an apartment? And we’re late already. So, can we have the ambulance :after: we look at the apartment?”

I think pieces of my body fell off as reality closed in around me and my astonishment broke off parts of my hull. I looked, with utter tongue-tied amazement at the police officer. Who at this point was out of patience. “Miss! Ambulance means EMERGENCY. I’m asking you if you Want An Ambulance NOW.” And he looked at me and we exchanged a look that said we both knew who the idiot was.

“Well, we’re late, and we need to see this apartment, so…… no.”

I was furious. And the next day, after talking to my agent, I got out blue graph paper, a ruler, several markers, and I diagrammed the scene. And sent it in with the accident report. When I got the follow-up call from the adjuster, it was the greatest conversation ever. First of all, they wished all their clients were like me, and could submit such thorough reporting. Second, it was quite clear due to the intersection, the stop light, and the damage to the cars that the other driver had actually proceeded through an intersection ILLEGALLY (my heart sang an aria when I heard that word) and that, in fact, I had done everything in my power to avoid the accident. Her insurance was liable and my beast of a Ford Escort got it’s alignment redone and some big piece of metal got straightened out, and I drove that car until it burned itself up in a fire.

I think I’d like “Don’t Fuck With Me” on my tombstone. Problem being with cremation, I won’t have a tombstone, but hell. It’s fun to think about. The other option? “She was even late for dying” – speaking of that, I have gotta go, my peeps. Tomorrow’s Friday, and a big hootenanny for that fact.

So, a certain someone suggested if I ever got around to sending out holiday cards by Martin Luther King Day, they could be from our dogs. I thought it was hilarious. Sadly, I haven’t gotten to the card part. Sigh. But our dogs are definitely celebrating the holiday (they get to hang out inside because JWo also doesn’t have to work). Good luck to them on the equality bit, though. The Magic Door to the Great and Tasty Food doesn’t open unless ya got opposable thumbs.

The other conversation I had today was with a co-worker. Her father-in-law works at a very large government facility here in town that may or may not make high-tech weaponry, may or may not employ cell phone jamming systems in its vicinity and its old name may or may not rhyme with “Windex”. There, apparently, all black employees can take today off (unpaid). But white employees can’t. Which I thought was weird. I asked her, “But what if you embraced the ideas and beliefs of MLK?” and got your basic “Tough shit.” I mean, hell. A day off -unpaid- I’d think you couldn’t restrict who can or can’t celebrate a holiday based on skin color. Maybe it’s one of those unwritten rule things. All I know is that because there were no traffic po-lice out today, my commute was squished because people left their cars in areas that are normally tow zones, and I was most definitely NOT feeling the love for my fellow humans.

So, if you got the day off today, I hope it was enjoyable & filled with relaxation and hobbies!

So, I got up at 3:40 a.m. today. And spent the next three hours making calls to Dublin, waiting for final approvals, finalizing payments and getting wire transfer information. It was a huge accomplishment, made all the bigger by the time difference & the very short window we had to get it all done.

I’m pleased, I’m happy, I left work early & went straight to bed. I only got a bit of a nap in, but I feel halfway lucid now, and I’m sure be at all-the-way by tomorrow. I hope we get to do more work in the future for our client, and I also hope we’ll get to do it a little bit more in advance. :) Not that I didn’t have fun hearing “Brilliant!” at 4:15 this morning, but email is a beautiful thing, “working” overnight and bringing answers by morning. I told the client it was magic! And of course you know what he thought of that word. Brilliant!

In knitting news, I started Jeanie from the latest Knitty, and was perturbed by the printing of the pattern – it left off the entire chart – did I already blog about this? I think I did. Anyway, I’m so glad it’s the weekend! I hope that all of you have great, relaxing times. I appreciated all the props and support and nice things you said over the avatar bullshit, the whole thing was petty & stupid, and it was apparent that the individual responsible for criticizing me wasn’t expecting to be accountable for her words TO me. So that was kind of funny, and also felt like righting a wrong. I remember being in her shoes once – I was in 5th grade, and Mrs. Polkow had called a classmate to the board – the very classmate on whom we’d managed to tape 20+ silly notes to his back. I remember that near-hysteria laughter of seeing him walking up to the front of the room, tiny pieces of notebook paper wafting in the air as he moved…. we didn’t say anything cruel, the goal was more to see how many pieces we could get on him. But Mrs. Polkow saw the papers, did a double-take and stopped him, removing all the notes. After class, I was in the girl’s restroom, and said to another girl, “Mean Mrs. Polkow, I can’t believe she took all those notes off Tom’s back.” And from the stall bellowed the words, “And you better not do it again, either!!!” I remembered the horror I felt, of being confronted – even indirectly – because I knew on the most basic level that what we’d done was wrong. Of course, that’s all part & parcel of what kids do to each other – the list of humiliations I suffered at the hands of my classmates still makes my blood run cold. But the idea is that ultimately? We outgrow such behavior. And when we see it, or have it done to us, we step in and say something, virtually bellowing from the stall, because we’re not in 5th grade any more – and we’re better than that.

Well, let me say thanks again on the icon suggestions. I’m still mulling.

Interestingly, or ironically, enough, I was alerted to a thread on Ravelry called “Creepy Avatars” and mine (which is the pink photo of me up there on the right) was called out by a woman who wrote: “I’ve only seen one avatar that really creeped me out. It is a depiction of a woman in sunglasses, on a pink background, and it looks like she is screaming. Why would one represent themselves that way? I am certain she/he is not that awful – knitters are great people!”

She didn’t even bother to figure out that, uh, it’s a picture of ME.

You callin’ me ugly, bitch?

(Sorry, you can’t hear me laughing. It’s high-pitched and asthmatic, that’s how funny it is to me.)

At first, I just came into the room and said, Yo, homes, I know what you’re saying about me, it’s ME, and it’s who I am, and a few people even said that they liked my avatar. Well, I woke up this morning (and yes, James, I hear you singing the Sopranos theme from over here) and I read an email from Beth, about how unnecessary it is to have these conversations that border on mean-spiritedness, and I decided to address it. After all, I’d gotten up at 5:30, drove through snowy roads to get here to call Ireland media companies, and they were still all AT LUNCH. At 2 in the afternoon there.

(Don’t worry, I’ll come back to Ireland.)

Here’s what I wrote:

Everything’s subjective…. and I guess that’s why I don’t draw my conclusions about a person from simply one tiny square on a screen. Must say, this thread seems like a springboard for “bash a Raveler” all based on one tiny piece of a person’s contribution and existence here at Ravelry. Without trying to fan flames, let me say this: I think it’s one thing to say “I don’t like solo body parts” or “Feet freak me out” or to discuss the whys and why-nots of using your face, child, pet, etc. – but to call out individual people for their avatars? – well, as one of those people, I’ll just say it feels a little high-school petty. But, that’s the internet for you. I tend to forget that even though we’re all knitters/crocheters and I expect a certain degree of commonality and assume a level of trust – we’re still all very diverse, and not everyone’s going to agree, or even be tactful or nice about what they say or put out there. So, if “creepy” it is for a few people, well, they’re ultimately the ones who are missing out – but I’m also not going to run and change my avatar or not let you know I’m aware of the pettiness. I’m almost 40. Too old for putting mean notes in lockers.

Personally, I like to amass a whole bunch of information before I determine someone is or isn’t to my “liking” and even then, there’s room for discourse, if that’s what you want. Of course, the fact that my avatar got nominated for “Funniest Avatar” on Ravelry (and even got more than one vote! though clearly not the winner, which is fine, I’m busy & acceptance speeches take so much time) reminds me that for me – just like in real life – for every person that dislikes me? There are ten more who actually really like me, enjoy me, and have taken the time to get to know me. Being judgmental is the easiest and hardest thing to do – it’s easy to leap to conclusions and make up your mind because then you have something concrete to believe – but I also say it’s hard, because you have to live within such narrow confines and limitations. And you miss out on a lot. Like, say, laughing with me. ;)

End of post. Bizzitchslap! Actually, that’s a far cry from a slap in my book. It’s much easier to read the message if you’re not being brutal or mean, and that was my goal. Gently pointing out that there are people behind every single glowing screen. I wanted to throw in a “Judge not, lest you be judged” but I don’t quote the Bible well, and it felt a little more heavy-handed than I wanted to end with.

The benefits of the internet far outweigh the drawbacks, this I do believe. It just stinks that people who would never dream of taking a crap in the middle of your living room have no problem doing it virtually. I really don’t try to edit myself too much – virtually or online – and I save my explosive, most bombastic tirades for my closest friends and James. Lucky them!

So, Ireland? Yeah! We’re buying some media there, and I’ve been straddling the time zone differential to get in touch with salespeople, in a really short amount of time. It’s been fun, although challenging not to immediately adopt the accent while I’m on the phone. I love the over-use of the word “brilliant” – they like to say it the way we say “cool” or “good”, and the big laugh of the day yesterday was when Kristin IM’d me that I should start shouting really loudly when I introduce myself as CALLING FROM THE UNITED STATES. Because you know, it’s a long way away.

Take a look at the size of my mouth though. I could do it. Brilliantly!

What a day! First off, you guys are great, and thank you for leaving your ideas about the icons. Of course I didn’t give you all the parameters, like the fact I can’t include colors, but I loved the ideas!!! I’m still mulling & I’ll let you know where I wind up. Part of me is deeply drawn to the crown that Alice in Wonderland wore. (So even though I said “no crown”, I can’t quite shake it!)

Today has been nutso. Everything was start-stop, so one email I was working on took me over an hour to complete, and then the servers were crashing so my email crashed & I had to re-create half the email, and can I just say I NEED A DRINK?

I got thrown a completely left-field project this afternoon and normally I’d be all “FOUL” and “WHA? THE F?” But oddly enough, I surprised even myself & just swung. And hopefully, it’ll be a base hit. Who knows?! I think it was a concrete, defined puzzle, that – despite the fact it involves international pricing and trying to talk to sales people who are 6 hours ahead of me – was at its core, a puzzle. God I love me the puzzles. Kristin turned me on to Scramble, on Facebook? And I’m frickin’ addicted to the one-minute Scrambles. As many words as you can find in 60 seconds, and it’s crazy! And a new game starts 15 seconds after the last one ends – it’s like tiny shots of adrenaline. Of course, I didn’t need any of it today because life has produced its own natural source of panic!

Anyway, I’ve been doing formulas and converting Euros and being reminded of how much easier the metric system is – good lord, why don’t we just switch? Because when it says “based on cm” and then measurements are given in mm – it’s no big deal to convert! It’s like a simpleton’s puzzle! (Not that the users of the metric system are simpletons. I do not need -oh- the ENTIRE WORLD mad at me!) It’s just so much more direct. And dare I say it, universal. I think the only problem I’d have if we switched would be the Fahrenheit/Celsius thing. I’d be convinced at all times someone was lying about the heat.

Anyhoo, I knew I was stressed today when all I could think about was how I needed to go home & battle Tom Morello on Guitar Hero. I could even hear the chords in my head.

I’m a nutjob. But I :embrace: it. Oh well. We all know what I’ll want to wear if I get named Queen of the Nutjobs….

Hi!
Happy Monday!

I swear, I’m not trying to get a gajillion comments, BUT, I have a fun sort of thing going on with work, and I’m looking for additional ideas.

We are re-branding the company (the owners are finally getting their names involved!) And with all that, new stuff has to get done – logos, letterhead, business cards, signs, all that jazz. Well, the fun thing about our new business cards is that every person gets to pick their very own icon! And we’ve been instructed to pick an icon that is a graphic representation of YOU.

Of course, my first thought was a crown. But that feels a little… pedestrian. Yeah, I’m the head of my department, but I don’t know that I want to be a queen. I’ve always opted more for the Czarina title, and I’m not sure they wear crowns. More like they wear capes with thick fur collars. Anyway. I realize most of you don’t know me in a working capacity, but anyone who’s read this blog for a short amount of time probably has a taste or flavor for who I am. And I’m interested to see what you think! (The only other icon that’s jumped into my head is the megaphone.) I’m kind of steering away from knitting, but I won’t rule it out. Kristin is leaning towards a sheep, so don’t pick that.

Can’t wait to see what you think! Thanks!