“You know why you’re watching this show, right?”<\/p>\n
“Why?”<\/p>\n
“Because. You want to be able to learn as much as you can before the season starts and impress all your friends with your football talk.”<\/p>\n
“Well of course<\/span> I want to learn!”<\/p>\n “Yeah, but you want to impress your people with your knowledge of football.” (me, yelling) “Did you ever think maybe I wanted to impress YOU, Jackass?!”<\/p>\n (from kitchen) “OH me! Impress me? It’s all about me?” I dunno where that came from, maybe I was channeling Gunther Cunningham. That man swears like a fuckin’ sailor. And he’s tough. Players call him the Grinch. And tonight I learned all about the Depth Chart.<\/p>\n Now, aren’t you just a tiny smidge impressed?<\/p>\n I’m so ready for football, except watching this show is making me a little skeered my Chiefs are not gonna do all that well. But what’s most important is my ability to BANTER and how much more I’ll know. Speaking of knowing things, I gotta work on my hand signals<\/a> for the new season. Illegal Crackback on ALL y’all who mess with me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “You know why you’re watching this show, right?” “Why?” “Because. You want to be able to learn as much as you can before the season starts and impress all your friends with your football talk.” “Well of course I want to learn!” “Yeah, but you want to impress your people with your knowledge of football.”(walks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1138"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1138\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
(walks away)<\/p>\n
(pause)
“JACKASS?!”<\/p>\n