I am sure this is one of those statements that doesn’t even really need to be MADE. But I had a rough night last night, waking myself up with a surge of acid in the back of my throat, and I didn’t sleep well after that point. I haven’t had that much stress, but as I lay in bed last night, wondering why I felt SO out of sorts, I realized that I’ve been ignoring, to some extent, that next Tuesday is the two-year anniversary of my father’s death, and that I’ve made my brain separate onto two planes, of sorts. I have the bulk of my brain set on “good times!” and living in the now, and being in relatively good spirits. And I think that big chunk of brain is set on “put the hammer down” on the other plane as a preventative measure, because I want to be progressing, moving forward, being happy, and I am acutely aware that June 10th is coming, not to mention the wincing at all the Father’s Day crap bombarding all of us.<\/p>\n
So the lower, squashed plane of my brain is getting back at me in oblique, under-handed ways. Like trying to drown me in stomach acid, or giving me insane, bizarre dreams that stay with me long past the alarm has me up and moving around. I felt like I have been in a stupor for a good 10-15 minutes every morning, trying to shake off the dream memories from the night, sorting out what is and isn’t reality, like picking cobwebs out your hair.<\/p>\n
Last night? I dreamed my co-workers and I were driving around town. In the Murano, of course, and I was driving. But even though it was Kansas City, it was very, very dangerous. And as we went through an intersection, an oncoming car – like an old Nissan Sentra – passed us going the other direction, and the driver was a crazy terrorist, and he brandished a baby-blue AK-47 at us, and his AK-47 had all kinds of floral stickers all over it. Kind of the “Hello Kitty” version of weaponry.<\/p>\n
I went into a RAGE. Because I had MY AK-47, and that fucker wasn’t going to threaten me with his flowery gun, mine was black and all badass. And my co-workers were kind of freaking out, but they all got out their guns, too, and we went driving through a cul-de-sac Johnson-County-esque neighborhood, shooting at the windows of the houses, just to prove we weren’t powerless.<\/p>\n
Someone might have a control issue or three, ya think? I’ve decided my new solution, when faced with situations I can’t control, is to shout, “I’m Right!” at the top of my lungs in the car. It at least makes me laugh and stops some of the obsessing. Plus, it’s far less dangerous than brandishing weaponry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am sure this is one of those statements that doesn’t even really need to be MADE. But I had a rough night last night, waking myself up with a surge of acid in the back of my throat, and I didn’t sleep well after that point. I haven’t had that much stress, but as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1308"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}