{"id":1539,"date":"2008-11-17T11:24:25","date_gmt":"2008-11-17T16:24:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=1539"},"modified":"2008-11-17T11:24:25","modified_gmt":"2008-11-17T16:24:25","slug":"evidence-of-the-crazy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=1539","title":{"rendered":"Evidence of the Crazy&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Because you needed more, right?<\/p>\n<p>I had Friday off, for a long-awaited spa day. I had originally scheduled my appointment for a month earlier, but the spa had a water main break in their building, and despite their best efforts, weren&#8217;t able to re-open in time for me to make my appointment. Boo! But, on the flip side, they gave me a 25% discount on all my services, so Yay! I had squirreled away a few SpaFinder certificates as well, so it was a fairly inexpensive day.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;m never good with &#8216;just lying there&#8217;. I get antsy. I&#8217;m a multi-tasker, and I start to fidget. And my brain starts to wander and get a little nutso on me. I was having a hand &amp; foot treatment, and part of the process is that they put a mask on your hands &amp; feet, and then wrap them in plastic bags &amp; tuck them under blankets and leave you that way for 10-15 minutes.<\/p>\n<p>Immediately, I start to think about how I now must resemble a corpse at a crime scene. Bagged and tagged, with evidence-preserving baggies on my hands and feet, except, of course, I&#8217;ve read and watched enough procedurals to know that it really should be brown paper bags for preserving evidence properly. Details, details. I start getting antsy and flail a bit with my plastic-covered extremities. Then, my brain thinks, &#8220;What if an armed gunman burst into the spa? Where would I hide?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Immediately, I think, at the end of the table, furthest point from the door. But crouched down, I&#8217;d feel vulnerable, not well-hidden.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not sure if there&#8217;s an opening to go under the table, or if it&#8217;s closed off. There&#8217;s a closet over there, that would be good, but of course the table would be mussed up and it could be very apparent that someone was\/is inside here. Well, I&#8217;d have to count on the element of surprise, because the last thing an armed gunman might expect is a pissed off, un-relaxed fat lady emerging from the closet like a wounded rhino, with plastic bags on her hands and feet, which actually would be handy for a suffocation. Self-defense, of course.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, the technician returned and I could stop my crime scene imaginations. And for the record, I was very relaxed after the day was done &#8211; I just don&#8217;t relax on command as well as I&#8217;d like.\u00a0 And my mind sure does wander&#8230;&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Because you needed more, right? I had Friday off, for a long-awaited spa day. I had originally scheduled my appointment for a month earlier, but the spa had a water main break in their building, and despite their best efforts, weren&#8217;t able to re-open in time for me to make my appointment. Boo! But, on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[33,23,16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1539"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1541,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1539\/revisions\/1541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}