{"id":1565,"date":"2008-11-30T11:28:31","date_gmt":"2008-11-30T16:28:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=1565"},"modified":"2008-11-30T16:09:08","modified_gmt":"2008-11-30T21:09:08","slug":"on-fridays-shopping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=1565","title":{"rendered":"On Friday’s Shopping"},"content":{"rendered":"

I used to get up at the ass-crack of dawn, and go out into the cold dark winter air, armed with a list and a game plan. I say “used to” like it was ages ago, but in fact, I was out and about just last year. I even went back and read the post, because I wanted to remind myself just how lackluster & disappointing the experience was for me.<\/p>\n

So this year, I didn’t go. Or I should say, I didn’t go at the ass-crack of dawn. And of all the sales, the only one I wanted to go to was JoAnn’s, so I made a list, grabbed my coupons, and headed out shortly before 11 am, thinking the crowds might be less and I’d still skate through with the 20%-off-before-noon coupon.<\/p>\n

uh, yeah. Nice thought.<\/p>\n

I wanted some wool felt, so I thought I was smart when I grabbed my number BEFORE finding my fabric. The line for the cutting table was huge. I looked at my number. E76. Went off and found the bolts of wool, and heard overhead, “D54! D54” Uh, WTF? Did that mean there were 75+46 (121!!!) people AHEAD of me? Fuck that. A woman putting fabric away told me they sold packs of wool felt fat quarters, and I decided I’d go that route. No line, and I’d use my 50% off coupon on ’em. It didn’t take too much longer for me to get the other things on my list. Another sales clerk asked me if I needed help, and inquired about the one thing I needed to buy as a present; she told me to get in line & she’d go get the item for me. Nice! Now, where’s the end of that line?<\/p>\n

I thought I’d try to show you, through the magical powers of illustration, just what it took to check out.<\/p>\n

\"BFjoanns\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My face:<\/p>\n

\"face3\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Yes. I was standing a few aisles back from the ribbon. And we went all the way around through Home Dec, by floral, and then into the big chute towards the registers.<\/p>\n

\"face2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

That’s me, about 15 minutes in. I can see Home Dec at this point. Then I run into my dental hygienist. She walks with me and chats for a little while, but then goes on to join her mom, who is already in line. Far, far ahead of me.<\/p>\n

At about 45 minutes of standing there, my legs got a little tingly. Everyone in line around me was antsy; we’d watch each others’ carts while darting down an aisle to entertain the notion of purchasing something else. The lady in front of me left for five minutes to put back a no-sew throw she’d impulsively put in her cart. Everyone was running out of patience.<\/p>\n

\"face1\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Meanwhile, overhead, a man came on the speaker system and reassured everyone their “shop before noon” coupons would be honored, not to worry, they appreciated our patience, etc. I was all, “uh, yeah, otherwise you’re gonna have some crazy-ass women starting a riot!”<\/p>\n

Finally, after standing for an hour, it was my turn to check out.<\/p>\n

\"face4\"<\/a><\/p>\n

And flee. And go home, and collapse, and take a cat-nap on the sofa.<\/p>\n

ETA: Yes. I saved 50% overall on all my purchases, with the bonus discount. So it was worth it – but I’ll have to think long & hard next year if the total savings on what I “need” will justify my time!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I used to get up at the ass-crack of dawn, and go out into the cold dark winter air, armed with a list and a game plan. I say “used to” like it was ages ago, but in fact, I was out and about just last year. I even went back and read the post, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1565"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1569,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565\/revisions\/1569"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}