{"id":173,"date":"2005-01-18T12:22:00","date_gmt":"2005-01-18T17:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=173"},"modified":"2005-01-18T12:22:00","modified_gmt":"2005-01-18T17:22:00","slug":"the-double-sided-tape-tragedy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=173","title":{"rendered":"The Double-Sided Tape Tragedy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>People use interoffice email for the funniest things. For ages, we got request to return ALL INTEROFFICE ENVELOPES to the mail room, right away.<br \/>\n<br \/>A former co-worker &#038; I would ponder that one. So, I return all my interoffice envelopes to the mail room. Then, when I want to put something into interoffice mail, I open my drawer &amp; whups! I don&#8217;t have any envelopes. So I go to the mail room to get one. And thus defeats the purpose of <strong><em>having an interoffice envelope <\/em><\/strong>because now I might as well walk my happy ass &#038; document over to the recipient of my mail. OY.  This is why <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dilbert.com\">Scott Adams<\/a href> is a millionaire.<br \/>\n<br \/>Then there&#8217;s this other person who&#8217;s always losing her easel. Every two months, the easel MUST BE RETURNED IMMEDIATELY.  Some poor schlub is out there, trying to finish his picasso, or else he&#8217;s joyfully scribbling on a giant tablet, and he keeps borrowing the WRONG EASEL.  Thirty thumbtacks, flung in your direction.<\/p>\n<p>Today, it seems, the double-sided tape has disappeared from the business center. Which is where all the office supplies are kept. So I guess we only keep <strong>one<\/strong> roll of double-sided tape on hand, and whoever took it is in BIG TROUBLE.  Because double-sided taping needs exist in corporate amurrica, for what exactly, I&#8217;m not sure, but now that we need to stick things together, the only roll we have is gone.  I have long maintained that double-sided tape is a two-faced beyotch that can&#8217;t be trusted. It looks at you while it&#8217;s walkin&#8217; away. Whistlin&#8217;. Because it&#8217;s <strong><em>just that two-faced.<\/em><\/strong>  Move the Homeland Security Alert System up a notch, Tommy.  Let&#8217;s roll.<br \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>People use interoffice email for the funniest things. For ages, we got request to return ALL INTEROFFICE ENVELOPES to the mail room, right away. A former co-worker &#038; I would ponder that one. So, I return all my interoffice envelopes to the mail room. Then, when I want to put something into interoffice mail, I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=173"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/173\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=173"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=173"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=173"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}