{"id":181,"date":"2005-01-22T23:26:00","date_gmt":"2005-01-23T04:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=181"},"modified":"2005-01-22T23:26:00","modified_gmt":"2005-01-23T04:26:00","slug":"spit-shine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=181","title":{"rendered":"Spit Shine"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Driving to Kristin&#8217;s birthday party, I caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror of a quarter-inch chunk of bangs, sticking straight out at a 90&#8242; angle from my forehead.<\/p>\n<p>Without even thinking, I started smoothing it down using my index finger, middle finger, and MY OWN SALIVA.  Miliseconds later, a part of me inside started shrieking, only to be silenced by another part of me admonishing, &#8220;But it&#8217;s working.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I have become an old lady. That or a cat. If it&#8217;s the latter, that&#8217;ll be bad news because both JWo and I are allergic. Look out. Heaven help you, if you have a smudge on your cheek or forehead, because I WILL LICK MY THUMB AND CLEAN YOUR FACE.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Driving to Kristin&#8217;s birthday party, I caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror of a quarter-inch chunk of bangs, sticking straight out at a 90&#8242; angle from my forehead. Without even thinking, I started smoothing it down using my index finger, middle finger, and MY OWN SALIVA. Miliseconds later, a part of me inside started [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=181"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}