him: “If you were a bear, what kind would you be?”<\/p>\n
me, without hesitation: “Kodiak.”<\/p>\n
him: “Holy shit!”<\/p>\n
me: “What the fuck, you wanted me to say something cutesy like ‘panda bear’? After the week I’ve had, I’m ready to kill every camper in a 100-mile radius of me.”<\/p>\n
pause<\/p>\n
me: “So. What kind would YOU be?”<\/p>\n
him: “Polar bear.”<\/p>\n
me: “Why, because it’s cold?”<\/p>\n
him: “That and they’re kinda mellow, they hang out….. y’know.”<\/p>\n
me: “They can be just as violent as a Kodiak bear. I mean, I could be a polar bear, too, but right now, I’m just really feeling the Kodiak.”<\/p>\n
I’d say that’s a good way to sum up Unemployment, Week One. Kodiak Bear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
him: “If you were a bear, what kind would you be?” me, without hesitation: “Kodiak.” him: “Holy shit!” me: “What the fuck, you wanted me to say something cutesy like ‘panda bear’? After the week I’ve had, I’m ready to kill every camper in a 100-mile radius of me.” pause me: “So. What kind would […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,16,73],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1840"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1840"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1840\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1841,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1840\/revisions\/1841"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1840"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1840"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1840"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}