{"id":311,"date":"2005-04-06T18:18:00","date_gmt":"2005-04-06T23:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=311"},"modified":"2005-04-06T18:18:00","modified_gmt":"2005-04-06T23:18:00","slug":"reason-84-i-am-headed-for-an-early-grave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=311","title":{"rendered":"Reason #84 I Am Headed For An Early Grave"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Over the weekend, I was in a cold-induced stupor. Today is the first FIRST day I have not felt like I have a cold. (Let me tell you, starting a new job with a head cold is a challenging thing to do!)<br \/>So we use an e-collar on the dogs to reinforce good behavior. What that means is, if you are Polly, and I call you to come HERE, and you choose to ignore me, I press a button and you can make the discomfort stop by DOING WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO. It&#8217;s a good thing these aren&#8217;t licensed for use in the workplace. Anyway. You have to take the remote and press its little sensor node to the recessed sensor spot on the collar to activate them. I usually then hit the &#8220;page&#8221; button, which doesn&#8217;t actually send a shock, it just vibrates it, like a pager buzzes. That way I know there&#8217;s enough juice to send a message &#8211; if I have to. <br \/>Like I said in a way-earlier blog, we usually have this thing set on &#8220;20&#8221; (out of 100) and James &#038; I even put it on our hands to feel it so we knew what it was like. It reminds me of getting a very muted electrical shock, like from a lamp I had as a kid that the wiring was going out on &#8211; just enough to feel weird, not enough to make you go WHOA.<br \/>You see where this is going, don&#8217;t you, dear reader?<\/p>\n<p>The e-collar was on the counter in the bathroom. I had just woken up from a dead-to-the-world-I&#8217;m-sick Four Hour Nap.  I picked it up, activated it, and then tested it to see if was juiced. Uh yeah. Instead of hitting PAGE, I hit the SHOCK button, and immediately flung the collar across the counter. I am surprised I didn&#8217;t break the mirror. I exchanged a very shocked look with myself in the mirror. Loads of wide-eyed blinking. Astonishment, really. I didn&#8217;t understand what I&#8217;d done for a couple of seconds. It hit me, of course, I&#8217;d hit the wrong button, and then, I looked at the remote and saw that the level? It had gotten bumped to 40. My hand tingled for probably 10 minutes afterwards! The funny thing is, on &#8220;20&#8221;, Polly responds, but if she wants to race after a cat or a bunny, we have to move it up to &#8220;30-40&#8221;. Suzy, on the other hand, caterwauls at &#8220;20&#8221; as though she is slowly being killed with acupuncture needles and lemon juice. It&#8217;s only happened once, in a hunting situation, and I guess it was a sight to behold &#8211; especially since she is such a toughie and can be SO STUBBORN, like when I&#8217;m dragging her by the collar, which can&#8217;t be comfortable, and I&#8217;ve even swatted her butt &#8211; which I can tell you now, FROM EXPERIENCE, is nothing like the pain of the e-collar.<\/p>\n<p>Especially on &#8220;40&#8221;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Over the weekend, I was in a cold-induced stupor. Today is the first FIRST day I have not felt like I have a cold. (Let me tell you, starting a new job with a head cold is a challenging thing to do!)So we use an e-collar on the dogs to reinforce good behavior. What that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=311"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}