{"id":481,"date":"2005-08-18T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-18T19:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=481"},"modified":"2005-08-18T14:00:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-18T19:00:00","slug":"life-is-a-straw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=481","title":{"rendered":"Life is a Straw"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m having a frustrating day. The essence of today can be captured by this: I have a super-sized diet coke sitting here, half-drunk. And my straw? MY FUCKING STRAW? It has a greeeeeeat big split in the middle. So, it was NOT my imagination the past four drinks that I was getting equal parts air &#038; soda. And so I&#8217;ve replaced it with one of MY straws (yes, I keep them at my desk), but that straw is too short. Story of my frickin&#8217; life.<\/p>\n<p>Now I&#8217;m gonna burp all afternoon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m having a frustrating day. The essence of today can be captured by this: I have a super-sized diet coke sitting here, half-drunk. And my straw? MY FUCKING STRAW? It has a greeeeeeat big split in the middle. So, it was NOT my imagination the past four drinks that I was getting equal parts air [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=481"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}