{"id":505,"date":"2005-09-05T23:07:00","date_gmt":"2005-09-06T04:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=505"},"modified":"2005-09-05T23:07:00","modified_gmt":"2005-09-06T04:07:00","slug":"i-cant-make-this-stuff-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=505","title":{"rendered":"I Can&#8217;t Make This Stuff Up:"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>On tonight&#8217;s 10p news, there was a report about an apartment building fire in Midtown KC. Two mattresses were intentionally set on fire in an apartment, and they have a suspect; the arsonist&#8217;s mug shot was shown, with the quote that he allegedly started the fires because? Oh, don&#8217;t even try to guess this one. He set <strike>shit<\/strike> STUFF on fire because he felt unloved. Yes, UNLOVED. I guess he was hoping for a big wet one &#038; bear hug from the firefighters?!?<\/p>\n<p>I am thinking someone at the Tele-Prompter might be a long-lost cousin of mine. Because that was one of those lines where I surfaced from my own fog with the look of a large bear being rudely interrupted from a fresh raspberry tart. The link at the tv station is not up yet, but if\/when it gets posted, I will update. Because otherwise, somebody at Live, Late-Breaking &amp; Investigative is having a leeeetle bit of fun on this holiday weekend!!!!!<\/p>\n<p>Only in America: The I&#8217;m-So-Unloved Defense. I much prefer the Too Many Raspberry Tarts and Chai Lattes Defense.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Updated 9\/6: Confirmation of Unloved Rationale can be found <a href=\"http:\/\/www.kctv5.com\/Global\/story.asp?S=3809785\">here.<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On tonight&#8217;s 10p news, there was a report about an apartment building fire in Midtown KC. Two mattresses were intentionally set on fire in an apartment, and they have a suspect; the arsonist&#8217;s mug shot was shown, with the quote that he allegedly started the fires because? Oh, don&#8217;t even try to guess this one. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=505"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}