{"id":507,"date":"2005-09-07T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-09-07T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=507"},"modified":"2005-09-07T07:00:00","modified_gmt":"2005-09-07T12:00:00","slug":"kristin-f-bentley","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=507","title":{"rendered":"Kristin F. Bentley"},"content":{"rendered":"

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OK. So you know Miss Kristin<\/a> and I work together. But now our working relationship is taking on a bizarre parallel to Puff, wait, P, wait, DiddyDaddyDoDongDay and Farnsworth Bentley.<\/p>\n

Last week, we went to lunch, and it was raining. Always prepared (ok, I’m a flippin’ pack rat and my car’s a giant purse), I had two umbrellas in the back seat. By the time lunch with our (hilarious) rep was over, so was the rain. So we’re walking back to my car, and she suddenly gets the notion to be all “Farnsworth Bentley” on me, and walk behind me while carrying an open umbrella over my head. As silly and ridiculous as that was, it was so funny, I was hooting like I was calling the cows in from the back 40. Anyone who saw us had to think, “Whooo, stay away, that one ain’t right.” (I don’t care, I’m almost used to it now.)<\/p>\n

Oh, it doesn’t stop there. Did you know Farnsworth also works as a bodyguard? Yesterday, I see this dresser for sale on CraigsList, and it’s cheap, it’s purportedly from Target, and I send an email. A girl writes me back. Turns out, she lives a block from work! So I announce to anyone within earshot, “OK, so if I don’t show up tomorrow, it’s because I went to buy a dresser from a girl who turned out to be a killer.” And Kristin offers to come along. (Our boss Jim was not pleased when I informed him his entire media department could be kidnapped and enslaved after work.) She defined herself as “the muscle”. Anyway, the dresser wasn’t my thang, we would’ve had to cart it down three flights of stairs & on the way back to the car, I noticed Miss K was wearing cute little sandals with heels. Not good moving shoes. But excellent for Charlie’s-Angels-ass-kickin’. If necessary.<\/p>\n

I’m so glad she’s here. I’m protected from being kidnapped AND the sun.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

OK. So you know Miss Kristin and I work together. But now our working relationship is taking on a bizarre parallel to Puff, wait, P, wait, DiddyDaddyDoDongDay and Farnsworth Bentley. Last week, we went to lunch, and it was raining. Always prepared (ok, I’m a flippin’ pack rat and my car’s a giant purse), I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/507"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=507"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/507\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=507"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=507"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=507"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}