As I\u2019ve gotten older, I\u2019ve gotten to the point where I rather enjoy the wistfulness & melancholy that accompanies the transition from Summer into Fall. The leaves on the trees have taken on a tinge of what is to come, certainly still describable as \u201cgreen\u201d, but they are hinting at the future. The air has changed, and the clouds fill in the sky with a grayer hue. <\/p>\n
While driving home the other night, my mind bounced around and I thought of all the Falls I\u2019ve spent alone, and how much harder my \u201cmelancholera\u201d was back then. (I’m all about making up words this week.) I think growing up, and having my husband, have helped me feel more grounded, more centered, and so the feelings I have now are more like gentle reminders to be grateful and enjoy what is here, now.<\/p>\n
My mind also skittered to a memory, one that never fails to bring tears to my eyes, and I think it also explains who I am. I don\u2019t think I\u2019m that different from everybody else, but I know that I am incredibly sensitive to everything, and it\u2019s been a long haul to work on insulating myself so I can cope \u201cnormally\u201d. After all, one can\u2019t just spend every day weeping! Back to the story: my mom is a school psychologist (yes, even the trained can have f-d up relationships), and she came home every day with stories. But there was one little boy, a 1st or 2nd grader, who will always stay stuck in my mind and heart. He had a speech impediment, and coke-bottle glasses. My mother had to go out and pick him up to bring him to school one day, because his mother \u201cforgot\u201d to get him out to the bus in time. The little boy was also forgetful, but with his speech impediment, his explanations came out as: \u201cI dah-dot.\u201d Back to this little shrimp of a boy, sitting in my mom\u2019s passenger seat, feet not touching the floor, talking to her in his nasal voice. He told her he was saving his money. She asked him why \u2013 and he said it was to buy him & his mom a Christmas tree. Because they\u2019d never had one. I begged my mother to let him come and live with us. <\/p>\n
I\u2019ve had to stop typing this twice, because it still makes me cry. My little Insulating Gnomes rush around my heart & put up plywood barriers, because I know there are a million other little kids, just like him, still out there today, and if I think about that I may never come up for air. Who knows what became of him. All I know is in that moment, hearing his heartbreaking wish for one simple thing, that symbolized happiness to him, and his desire to please his mother, I realized how fortunate I am and how much I take for granted. And I was maybe 10? Obviously, I\u2019ve not gone on to live a great life of sacrifice and selflessness, and I\u2019m the first to admit I\u2019m materialistic & want nice things surrounding me. But fuck, people. They say you can judge a man by how well he tips, or by how well he treats a dog. I say we as a society are judged on how well we care for our indigent, for the mentally handicapped, for those who have less. I think we\u2019ve neglected the poor for so long, they\u2019re pissed & desperate, and somehow that attitude fuels the dominant belief that if they\u2019re ungrateful, they don\u2019t deserve anything. The current stuff doesn\u2019t work. We have too many smart people in this world for me to believe we can\u2019t find a better way. <\/p>\n
That\u2019s my rant for the week. I think of that little boy every year, and blink back my tears. I am grateful to have a job, a secure and happy marriage filled with love & laughter, dear friends I can clutch to my heart, great people out there who send me nice emails & like me just from what they read. If there\u2019s a lesson in this, it\u2019s to appreciate the moment, what you have, and if there\u2019s an opportunity to help someone less fortunate, to take it. On an up-note, I can\u2019t wait to take pictures this year of the maples on Ward Parkway, one of the many things that make my commute each day so contemplative & beautiful. It\u2019ll be a few weeks, but they truly are breathtaking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As I\u2019ve gotten older, I\u2019ve gotten to the point where I rather enjoy the wistfulness & melancholy that accompanies the transition from Summer into Fall. The leaves on the trees have taken on a tinge of what is to come, certainly still describable as \u201cgreen\u201d, but they are hinting at the future. The air has […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/544"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=544"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/544\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}