{"id":577,"date":"2005-11-02T12:29:00","date_gmt":"2005-11-02T17:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=577"},"modified":"2005-11-02T12:29:00","modified_gmt":"2005-11-02T17:29:00","slug":"how-to-set-my-hair-on-fire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=577","title":{"rendered":"How To Set My Hair ON FIRE"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>1. Answer my &#8220;This is Jennifer&#8221; with &#8220;Hello, Jennifer, how are you?&#8221; when we&#8217;ve never spoken before &#038; you haven&#8217;t introduced yourself yet.  <strong><em>Category 4: Singe.<\/em><\/strong><br \/>2. Tell me you understand I handle the advertising for a CLIENT I DON&#8217;T REPRESENT. And then? ARGUE WITH ME about that fact, that you understood I DID. <em><strong>Category 7: We Have Flammage.<\/strong><\/em><br \/>3. THEN? THEN? Turn your fuck-up into a COLD CALL and start probing for what business I DO HANDLE. You know what that gets you? <em><strong>Category 12: Flames Licking The Ceiling,<\/strong><\/em> coupled with the tart, brittle response from me: &#8220;I&#8217;m not going to do your cold-calling research for you, GOODBYE.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Time is money, motherfucker. (I would have enjoyed adding that. But I&#8217;m still polite. JUST NOT ON MY BLOG.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. Answer my &#8220;This is Jennifer&#8221; with &#8220;Hello, Jennifer, how are you?&#8221; when we&#8217;ve never spoken before &#038; you haven&#8217;t introduced yourself yet. Category 4: Singe.2. Tell me you understand I handle the advertising for a CLIENT I DON&#8217;T REPRESENT. And then? ARGUE WITH ME about that fact, that you understood I DID. Category 7: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/577"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=577"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/577\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}