{"id":583,"date":"2005-11-08T08:08:00","date_gmt":"2005-11-08T13:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=583"},"modified":"2005-11-08T08:08:00","modified_gmt":"2005-11-08T13:08:00","slug":"hustle-flow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=583","title":{"rendered":"Hustle &amp; Flow"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>OK, so they put these new automatic flushers on the toilets at work. I&#8217;m not sure what the point is, except I guess to eliminate the chance that someone is behaving like they&#8217;re 8, and not flushing after they use the facilities. <\/p>\n<p>But here&#8217;s the deal: right before the automatic flush occurs? The thingy makes a sound. It makes a sound not unlike a baby raptor, from Jurassic Park. Which is arguably a little disconcerting, given that one is seated an in a semi-vulnerable state of undress; if for some reason you are using the bathroom as a personal 5-minute escape from stress, it is actually alarming. I seriously expected to turn around and see a green head with a mouth full of fangs coming out of the wall. FABulous, dahling! Good thing my pants are off already, otherwise I might have shat them.<\/p>\n<p>Now, yesterday, I don&#8217;t know what the deal was, but the flusher just started Cah-RAWH! flushing. And Cah-RAWH! flushing. And Cah-RAWH! flushing. Any notion I had that this was a way to conserve water was gone. It was not unlike when the waiter tries to take your plate away, but you&#8217;re not quite done eating? Hey? hey? hey? Not so fast, Mister! Usually I just stab the waiter with my fork, but this was different. I had no fork, and the baby raptors were squawking, repeatedly.  The last bastion of peace &#038; quiet has been eliminated, and I hustled out of there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>OK, so they put these new automatic flushers on the toilets at work. I&#8217;m not sure what the point is, except I guess to eliminate the chance that someone is behaving like they&#8217;re 8, and not flushing after they use the facilities. But here&#8217;s the deal: right before the automatic flush occurs? The thingy makes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/583"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=583"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/583\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}