{"id":604,"date":"2005-11-22T07:47:00","date_gmt":"2005-11-22T12:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=604"},"modified":"2005-11-22T07:47:00","modified_gmt":"2005-11-22T12:47:00","slug":"the-next-instrument-in-the-war-on-terror-lafonda-the-honda","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=604","title":{"rendered":"The Next Instrument In The War On Terror: LaFonda The Honda"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Apparently, my car is invisible. Like the stealth bomber, and the B-52, LaFonda the Honda joins the elite warfare ranks as a silent, invisible machine in the war on terror.<\/p>\n<p>I submit to you my experience of last night. When I exit the building in my car, it&#8217;s on to a one-way street, three lanes wide, at the bottom of a hill. It&#8217;s a busy street, and I have to get out and into the middle lane within a block&#8217;s distance. And I&#8217;m 10 feet from a stoplight. So it&#8217;s a little like jumping in on double dutch jump rope some days. Last night, a FedEx truck was stopped in the lane closest to me, blinkers on, etc. I&#8217;m there, pulling out, almost in front of him and he just puts &#8216;er in gear and completely cuts me off. Now, I had my window down and his was down, so I felt compelled to yell and tell him what a dickwad he was, and I saw a woman standing at the corner waiting for the light. I felt a little silly, but whatever. The traffic cleared, and <em>as I pulled out and headed into the middle lane<\/em> &#8211; pedestrian lady starts crossing against the light! And when she SEES me, just starts to hustle! Hustle! I&#8217;m braking to avoid killing her, there are cars streaming over the hill, it&#8217;s dark, and she&#8217;s playing in traffic. <\/p>\n<p>So I yelled at her, too, of course: &#8216;THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA, HUH?&#8217; because it is my responsibility to point out to everyone in the world what an idiot they are, especially if they are inconveniencing me. But it was as I continued driving, and people driving around and changing lanes like I wasn&#8217;t there, that I finally realized: my car had some sort of Invisibility Cloak going on.  I need to sell LaFonda to the Department of Defense and retire. <\/p>\n<p>Instead, I&#8217;m going to be playing Clay Aiken&#8217;s &#8220;Invisible&#8221; all day. Well, no. That would make me crazier than I already am.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Apparently, my car is invisible. Like the stealth bomber, and the B-52, LaFonda the Honda joins the elite warfare ranks as a silent, invisible machine in the war on terror. I submit to you my experience of last night. When I exit the building in my car, it&#8217;s on to a one-way street, three lanes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=604"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=604"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=604"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=604"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}