{"id":620,"date":"2005-12-06T09:04:00","date_gmt":"2005-12-06T14:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=620"},"modified":"2005-12-06T09:04:00","modified_gmt":"2005-12-06T14:04:00","slug":"five-things-i-dreamed-of-getting-for-xmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=620","title":{"rendered":"Five Things I Dreamed Of Getting For Xmas&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;As A Child.<\/p>\n<p>You know what I&#8217;m talkin&#8217; about. I would lie in my bed, staring out the window at the trees silhouetted in the moonlight &#038; fantasize &#038; dream about finally getting one of these things. It would change my life, all for the better. I&#8217;ll be interested to see how many were your dreams, too &#8211; and what your list would look like. Call it a meme, borrow the idea for your own blog. Share it!<\/p>\n<p>5. A Swimming Pool. Not terribly practical in Northeast Iowa, especially RURAL NE Iowa. I, of course, did not dream for an above-ground pool, either. I wanted an in-ground, heated pool. With a bubble roof. I don&#8217;t know if it was truly Olympic-sized? But it was a BIG ASS POOL in my fantasy world.  Never got it.<\/p>\n<p>4. A Pogo Stick.  So, again with the practicality. Yes, you might think, hey, that&#8217;s not so bad, what&#8217;s the big deal? Why deny a child her god-given right to attempt to kill herself by bouncing around on a stick? Well, please reference the above wish &#8211; because along with RURAL comes GRAVEL. And hard dirt surfaces. We did not have cushy grass lawns, the only grass was on a hill, around the gardens, and a bitch to mow.  I did not profess to knowing all I know now, so my desire for a pogo stick lived on. I did not get it, instead, my father made me stilts. Moderately fun, but again, there was no spring-action in the stilts. SIGH.<\/p>\n<p>3.  A Boomerang. You know about this simple device, I&#8217;m sure. You read about the aborigines in Australia, and while you didn&#8217;t necessarily need to go take down some kangaroos, you couldn&#8217;t imagine a more stellar, riveting show you could perform on the playground. Perhaps it could also work to knock fruit from trees. (Nevermind we only had crabapples.) I believe I had a cheapy knock-off, which I never succeeded in throwing correctly, but I knew if I got a True Australian Boomerang, I would be collecting fruit and wowing the other 4th graders in no time. Instead, I violently flung a piece of plastic into the dirt, up over my head, and generally away from me, causing me to trudge trudge trudge to pick it up &#038; try again. Never succeeding.<\/p>\n<p>2.  A Scooter, Vespa, whatever. My own mode of transportation, and faster than a pogo stick. Every Sunday, I would check the classifieds in the Des Moines Register, and dream about having my own scooter. I would visualize myself speeding off to town, NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, the high-pitched whine of an overfed mosquito, to have a part-time job, pick up some milk, anything that would rationalize buying it. I did not think of the practicalities (GRAVEL! HILLS!) and was always frustrated by my parents&#8217; dogged determination to DENY ME MY FREEDOM. Freedom in a scooter. Don&#8217;t think the last craze over these things didn&#8217;t tug on my heartstrings a wee bit.<\/p>\n<p>1.  Discovering I Was Given Up For Adoption By The Queen of England In A Shroud Of Intrigue And Mystery.  Listen. Delusions of grandeur have to start somewhere.  I didn&#8217;t care about how mean and pinched she looked, I just wanted that palace, the guards, and those little corgi dogs.  And the tiara.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s funny now, because I want for so little. I have many, many things to be thankful for, my life is not extravagant or filled with pogo sticks (god help me now, I&#8217;d break both legs), and yes, I did (weakly) try to convince my husband we should get a house with a pool when we were looking, two years ago. DE-NIED. But, I don&#8217;t lie awake at night &#038; yearn for one, either.  <\/p>\n<p>I will never be completely practical, I&#8217;ve always been something of a dreamer. I married someone who knows about insurance liability &#038; the fact he would get stuck cleaning the pool, and would tell me in a kind way I would burn the engine out on a scooter. I&#8217;m just going to have to settle for being some form of royalty I bestow upon myself. I like the sound of Czarina&#8230;. <\/p>\n<p>This year, my holiday wishes include peace, good health, laughter, and love. Could I get more schmaltzy? That&#8217;s <strong>Czarina of Schmaltz <\/strong>to YOU.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;As A Child. You know what I&#8217;m talkin&#8217; about. I would lie in my bed, staring out the window at the trees silhouetted in the moonlight &#038; fantasize &#038; dream about finally getting one of these things. It would change my life, all for the better. I&#8217;ll be interested to see how many were your [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=620"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}