{"id":649,"date":"2006-01-07T01:06:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-07T06:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=649"},"modified":"2006-01-07T01:06:00","modified_gmt":"2006-01-07T06:06:00","slug":"and-the-stripes-are-vertical","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=649","title":{"rendered":"And The Stripes Are Vertical!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have shown great success this past NFL season (yes, I know it’s not over, but it is over for the Chiefs) in developing my ability to comment on the game, and I would like to take this moment to also state that I am an excellent judge of yardage. Might be all the knitting, might be me trying to find one area in which to excel, but I’m good.<\/p>\n

So, last week, James was going to bed at 5:00 or something crazy, because he’s practicing to be a dairy farmer when he retires (and he gets up at the crack o’ dawn for the waterfowl hunting), and I’m standing by his side of the bed, getting more & more wound up talking about something. I end my statement with both arms straight up in the air by my head.<\/p>\n

JWo: “So, now that you’ve shown me the referee’s signal for a touchdown, show me what they do when the kick is no good.”<\/p>\n

I pause. I think. I wave my hands in front of me, crossing wrists.<\/p>\n

JWo: “Very good! Now show me holding.”<\/p>\n

I think again. I know I know it. I give him this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

JWo: “Noooooo. What is that? THIS is holding.” and he proceeds to show me, and I immediately go, “Oooooh, yeah, yeah, right.” <\/p>\n

(Correct Referee Signal:)<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We’re both laughing, and JWo says again, “What was THAT?” referring, of course to my incorrect signal.<\/p>\n

I say, “Oh, it was holding. It was the ‘Bein’ HELD DOWN BY THE MAN’ hand signal.”<\/p>\n

Needless to say, I’m setting the bar & getting ready for next year. Why, right here<\/a>, I’ve discovered a transgression called the Illegal Crackback. How snappy is that? I think that could work in the office. Shut up! I’m not taking your call, I call Illegal Crackback on your ass. I see a lot of potential, integrating all this into daily life. Perhaps Kristin will learn Ref signals, too, and we can handle faux pas in meetings by, say, simply standing up & kicking the back of our foot (to indicate tripping). My problem is, she’ll be calling me constantly on the Facemask. I’m grabby like that, and I don’t always have good boundaries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have shown great success this past NFL season (yes, I know it’s not over, but it is over for the Chiefs) in developing my ability to comment on the game, and I would like to take this moment to also state that I am an excellent judge of yardage. Might be all the knitting, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/649"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=649"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/649\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}