{"id":654,"date":"2006-01-11T09:20:00","date_gmt":"2006-01-11T14:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=654"},"modified":"2006-01-11T09:20:00","modified_gmt":"2006-01-11T14:20:00","slug":"move-over-sylvia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=654","title":{"rendered":"Move Over, Sylvia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So, yesterday, at the end of the day, I brought up the fact that it would be very challenging to actually put your head in an oven. Yes, I was feeling overwhelmed at the time, but not seriously contemplating the maneuver. Kristin countered that Sylvia Plath did it, as did a character in Hedwig &#038; The Angry Inch. I say that unless you have a stove bolted to the floor, you would tip the oven over. And the whole thing would be a very uncomfortable way to go. The low bending, the sprawling, the delicate balance of keeping the stove from crashing on your head &#8211; after all, if you wanted to exit with crashing, you&#8217;d take on the fridge, or a vending machine.  I mean, even a little non-fat person would make our oven tip over, it&#8217;s simply a matter of physics, with the door acting like a lever! (Now, I better stop, because that&#8217;s as far as my smacktalk about physics can go. I can reference Archimedes, and then, like George Costanza, my hands are up in the air and I&#8217;m outta there.) <\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m just saying. It would be incredibly awkard and uncomfortable, and once you got your head in there, hell, I&#8217;d start getting all OCD about the crap on the bottom of the stove, and I certainly wouldn&#8217;t put my cheek on that, so I&#8217;d have to clean it, and then I&#8217;d be back out of the oven &#038; living life to my fullest with my bright yellow gloves and a can of EasyOff.  Hmmm. EasyOff. I wonder if that works on salespeople&#8230;.. and how do I spray them through the phone&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, yesterday, at the end of the day, I brought up the fact that it would be very challenging to actually put your head in an oven. Yes, I was feeling overwhelmed at the time, but not seriously contemplating the maneuver. Kristin countered that Sylvia Plath did it, as did a character in Hedwig &#038; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/654"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/654\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}