So, I am having sudden, intense cravings. NO. Stop right there. I am not pregnant. I can’t imagine what that would be like, given how strong my cravings have been. I would end up on the 10 o’clock news, feature story, on how I terrorized a Sheridan’s custard stand because they didn’t have the right ingredients on-hand, and the video they’d show would be me with some poor teenager in a headlock, screaming “GIVE ME THE GODDAMN HOT FUDGE NOW!) I can’t even punctuate properly, I’m that discombobulated.<\/p>\n
Seriously, though, I had the most peculiar one, right after a sip of coffee the other morning. Like a bolt of lightning. I just instantly desired a hotdog, the way my mom made them when I was in 2nd grade. Sliced almost in half, put under the broiler, cooked until brown, a slice of cheese put over the dog & popped back into the oven until melty. Sometimes we’d put sauerkraut on ’em – but you always dunked these into ketchup – no ketchup applied directly. Crazy! Because I didn’t start drinking coffee ’til 10th grade, so there’s no direct hotdog-coffee connection that I’m aware of!<\/p>\n
And I’m also on a tear for Sonic’s Sweetheart Shake or Blast or whatever the F it is, all I know is that they have it around Valentine’s Day, and HELLO, that’s like less than three WEEKS AWAY, and it has hot fudge & cherries in it. And they DON’T GODDAMN HAVE IT yet. Fuckers. They are OUT to destroy me. Again.<\/p>\n
Because I fancy myself something of a wheedler, I attempted to get one at Sonic yesterday, anyway. OH, yes I did. Only I asked for strawberries, because I knew I’d increase my odds of success. (Insert loud blasting buzzing noise to indicate lack of success HERE!) Well, I guess it AIN’T MY WAY however I like it when I want it and you don’t have it! <\/p>\n
And if it’s not obvious by now, I’m really<\/strong> not being charitable to my sales reps this week. Unless one of them shows up with this shake thing I want. Then? PUTTY.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So, I am having sudden, intense cravings. NO. Stop right there. I am not pregnant. I can’t imagine what that would be like, given how strong my cravings have been. I would end up on the 10 o’clock news, feature story, on how I terrorized a Sheridan’s custard stand because they didn’t have the right […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/669"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=669"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/669\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}