What I need right now is a fireplace. In my office. I am rarely, if ever, too cold at work, but today, I think the a\/c is on. And it\u2019s about 30 degrees outside. So! My fingers are stumpy ice blocks, the Skinnernet is not working again, and people need to introduce themselves on the phone.<\/p>\n
That would be the first lesson in etiquette my world domination tour would enforce. Must Introduce Self On The Telephone! It\u2019s so easy! All you do is say, \u201cThis is (your name here)\u201d! The exceptions are, of course, spouses, family & good friends you speak with regularly. I\u2019m not kidding you, I have people I\u2019ve never spoken with before who\u2019ll call up and say, \u201cHi Jennifer! How are you?\u201d and wait for me to say \u201cuhhhh, fiiiine?\u201d and even THEN, they\u2019ll just proceed with an attempt at chit-chat, like, how\u2019s the weather blah blah blah, and at that point I give them stony silence followed by, \u201cWho is this?\u201d I feel like it\u2019s some new approach some dickwad in sales motivation came up with, like, Hey! Don\u2019t introduce yourself, just behave like you\u2019re already a good friend, and the whole conversation will be friendly, you\u2019ll be that much closer to closing the deal! Yeah, uh-huh, because people LOVE that kind of presumptive behavior in business. Monkeyfuckers. They’re going to have to clean toilets when I take over the world.<\/p>\n
And, I have this strange thing going on with my eye, like I\u2019ve got a scratch or infection or something horrid, and I\u2019m probably going to end up wearing a patch, and then it will be Pirate Jen\u2019s World Domination Tour (with Cher opening, of course.) and I will sing Eminem\u2019s song \u201cMy Name Is\u201d for my opening number while dressed in a lot of fur and mukluks. It will be awesome, you should get your tickets now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What I need right now is a fireplace. In my office. I am rarely, if ever, too cold at work, but today, I think the a\/c is on. And it\u2019s about 30 degrees outside. So! My fingers are stumpy ice blocks, the Skinnernet is not working again, and people need to introduce themselves on the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=697"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/697\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}