I am entering the time of year where everything piles and piles and piles and threatens to all tumble & crash to the ground into a thousand shards of Things I Used to Love Before They Broke Into Shards. It makes me very intolerant, and slightly homicidal. Witness driving to a birthday lunch, when a woman errantly looked across the street & thought “Hey, it says Don’t Walk, but that old saying ‘the Pedestrian has the Right of Way’ should trump that.” Lady, you are lucky to be alive because as I hurtled down the hill, WITH the green light & right of way, I shouted at you, “Lady, prepare to DIE!” and I really didn’t think I’d do that much damage to my car if I hit her. She looked pretty small, in fact. Fortunately for both of us, she stopped trying to cross, and I became less cross – eventually. I have been yelling about making love to goats (I don’t practice it, but the plastic farm animals in my supervisor’s inbox have started it up), and my jaw is getting tighter and tighter. I chip my front teeth in my sleep. My dentist said re: the last chip, “It gives you personality”, to which I replied, “I don’t NEED more personality with my teeth, I have PLENTY to start with.” He did not offer to cap me up, and I can’t afford capping anyway. However, it’s cafeteria plan time, so hey, let’s pencil it in for next year! I did ask if we could do titanium caps, so as to curb the chipping. Apparently not. Maybe if I went to the BlingBling place over by Bannister Mall I could get Hooked Up. Basically, I’m sensing that I need MORE TIME to myself and I also need to get my shit together. Our house looks like we’re trying to get picked for one of those “Clean Sweep” shows, except I don’t have time to take pictures of it, and if I had to enter the Make-A-Wish foundation, I’d fervently hope that someday I’ll put my laundry away & actually get it all done! The great news is that I care less. I tell myself I don’t care, but it’s not completely true. I care, because it’s part of my wiring system. I am just re-conditioning myself to put in a filter, so I don’t care about EVERYthing, and some things have more weight than others. This practice, I believe, is commonly labeled “prioritizing”!
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Tomorrow, I am sleeping until 7 a.m., because that damned Witty Knitter is out via email, and everyone else can just wait their happy asses out for it to arrive in the mail. Peeps, it’s called a computer and an information superhighway. Think about gettin’ on it and off the wagon trail. Just make sure you look both ways before crossing, because you never know who’s speeding down the hill right atcha, and you daresn’t cross against the lights……<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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