{"id":70,"date":"2004-11-10T23:03:00","date_gmt":"2004-11-11T04:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=70"},"modified":"2004-11-10T23:03:00","modified_gmt":"2004-11-11T04:03:00","slug":"my-superhero-name-is-captain-grumpypants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=70","title":{"rendered":"My Superhero name is&#8230;..? Captain GrumpyPants!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I am entering the time of year where everything piles and piles and piles and threatens to all tumble &#038; crash to the ground into a thousand shards of Things I Used to Love Before They Broke Into Shards. It makes me very intolerant, and slightly homicidal. Witness driving to a birthday lunch, when a woman errantly looked across the street &amp; thought &#8220;Hey, it says Don&#8217;t Walk, but that old saying &#8216;the Pedestrian has the Right of Way&#8217; should trump that.&#8221; Lady, you are lucky to be alive because as I hurtled down the hill, WITH the green light &#038; right of way, I shouted at you, &#8220;Lady, prepare to DIE!&#8221; and I really didn&#8217;t think I&#8217;d do that much damage to my car if I hit her. She looked pretty small, in fact. Fortunately for both of us, she stopped trying to cross, and I became less cross &#8211; eventually. I have been yelling about making love to goats (I don&#8217;t practice it, but the plastic farm animals in my supervisor&#8217;s inbox have started it up), and my jaw is getting tighter and tighter.  I chip my front teeth in my sleep.  My dentist said re: the last chip, &#8220;It gives you personality&#8221;, to which I replied, &#8220;I don&#8217;t NEED more personality with my teeth, I have PLENTY to start with.&#8221; He did not offer to cap me up, and I can&#8217;t afford capping anyway. However, it&#8217;s cafeteria plan time, so hey, let&#8217;s pencil it in for next year! I did ask if we could do titanium caps, so as to curb the chipping. Apparently not. Maybe if I went to the BlingBling place over by Bannister Mall I could get Hooked Up.  Basically, I&#8217;m sensing that I need MORE TIME to myself and I also need to get my shit together. Our house looks like we&#8217;re trying to get picked for one of those &#8220;Clean Sweep&#8221; shows, except I don&#8217;t have time to take pictures of it, and if I had to enter the Make-A-Wish foundation, I&#8217;d fervently hope that someday I&#8217;ll put my laundry away &#038; actually get it all done! The great news is that I care less. I tell myself I don&#8217;t care, but it&#8217;s not completely true. I care, because it&#8217;s part of my wiring system. I am just re-conditioning myself to put in a filter, so I don&#8217;t care about EVERYthing, and some things have more weight than others. This practice, I believe, is commonly labeled &#8220;prioritizing&#8221;!<br \/>\n<br \/>Tomorrow, I am sleeping until 7 a.m., because that damned Witty Knitter is out via email, and everyone else can just wait their happy asses out for it to arrive in the mail. Peeps, it&#8217;s called a computer and an information superhighway. Think about gettin&#8217; on it and off the wagon trail.  Just make sure you look both ways before crossing, because you never know who&#8217;s speeding down the hill right atcha, and you daresn&#8217;t cross against the lights&#8230;&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am entering the time of year where everything piles and piles and piles and threatens to all tumble &#038; crash to the ground into a thousand shards of Things I Used to Love Before They Broke Into Shards. It makes me very intolerant, and slightly homicidal. Witness driving to a birthday lunch, when a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=70"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=70"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=70"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=70"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}