{"id":796,"date":"2006-06-03T08:47:00","date_gmt":"2006-06-03T13:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=796"},"modified":"2006-06-03T08:47:00","modified_gmt":"2006-06-03T13:47:00","slug":"i-thought-the-point-was-to-motivate-knitters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=796","title":{"rendered":"I Thought The Point Was To Motivate Knitters."},"content":{"rendered":"

OK! Come sit next to me, my knitting friends. Let’s look at this picture, shall we? <\/p>\n

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All I can focus on are those uncooked sausages. This is a free pattern for a “grill mitt.” I challenge you to keep your eyes on the mitt. No, no! You cannot! Who puts their raw meat on a bed of cilantro? Let’s make up our minds here, food stylist or knits stylist.<\/p>\n

Now, did that not inspire you? No? How about a project that calls for both a Pound of Love AND Fun Fur????? HAHAHAHAHA yes, it is your purgatory, welcome, we have your knitting basket right here. <\/p>\n

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With the bonus being, it already looks like moths, your dog, and Sasquatch have chewed it up. Yes, my child. Snuggle under the nightmare.<\/p>\n

And those of you with the accident-prone youngsters will get a big chuckle out of this free pattern:<\/p>\n

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Why, it’s the Diamond-Back Rattler Cast Sock! As you can see, this hapless youth wasn’t satisfied with scrawling “Don’t Tread On Me”, a popular theme with the passionate Colonists in early Americana as evidenced on Revolutionary flags. There’s a lesson to be learned at every point in life, beyond skateboarding next to an empty pool, and that’s the proud history of our forefathers, the story every teen is hankering to communicate via their leg cast. Because nothing goes with an iPod like a Diamond-Back Rattler Cast Sock for today’s discerning, yet historically-conscious teen! And, please note, for those terrified of snakes, that the EYEBROWS on the snake will reassure even the most skittish that it is not real. We don’t want the lesson to be lost because someone gets squeamish! You think our ancestors turned and ran? The WHITES OF THEIR EYES, people. Never forget. NEVER.<\/p>\n

All hideousness courtesy of Lion Brand.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

OK! Come sit next to me, my knitting friends. Let’s look at this picture, shall we? All I can focus on are those uncooked sausages. This is a free pattern for a “grill mitt.” I challenge you to keep your eyes on the mitt. No, no! You cannot! Who puts their raw meat on a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=796"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/796\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=796"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=796"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=796"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}