I’ve had one of those rock-m, sock-m headaches today that Just! Won’t! Quit! with a frickin’ vengeance. The Headache Gnome has been ignored long enough and now he’s riding a dirt bike around the inside of my cranium, much like the stunt riders at the circus ride their dirt bikes inside a large metal cage.
So that really only leaves me one choice: Hit Gnome. A sordid, mysterious sort of gnome, who smokes unfiltered cigarettes, drinks thimbles of whiskey, and refuses to wear the pointy hat but instead dons a red do-rag. He is a Renegade. One one bicep there’s a mushroom tatoo, on the other the requisite “Gnome Free or Die” with the national Gnome masonic symbol. His ride is, of course, a Harley DavidGnome. All the better to catch up with the mo-fo Headache Gnome, I say. Tear it up, buddy.<\/p>\n
Apparently, the Imagination Gnome is hard at work today. That’s good. Somebody oughta work hard, and it’s not really turning out to be ME.<\/p>\n
UPDATE (3:40 p.m.): The headache is nearly gone, and it seemed to dissipate during a meeting with the Blandest Rep Ever. Seriously, his personality was as substantive as wet tissue. I thought Kristin was going to leap on the table and flash her boobs, just to see if he would blink. (she didn’t. I bet he would’ve.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve had one of those rock-m, sock-m headaches today that Just! Won’t! Quit! with a frickin’ vengeance. The Headache Gnome has been ignored long enough and now he’s riding a dirt bike around the inside of my cranium, much like the stunt riders at the circus ride their dirt bikes inside a large metal cage. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=880"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=880"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=880"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=880"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}