{"id":931,"date":"2006-11-14T15:17:00","date_gmt":"2006-11-14T20:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lawrencem94.sg-host.com\/?p=931"},"modified":"2006-11-14T15:17:00","modified_gmt":"2006-11-14T20:17:00","slug":"ripped-from-the-headlines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/?p=931","title":{"rendered":"Ripped From The Headlines&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I get &#8220;US&#8221; magazine at work, and two weeks in a row have been mightily amused by the lesser-story headlines that are still making the covers:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Anna Nicole Smith: Her Secret Grief&#8221;<br \/>Ah, yes, so secret, this grief. Secretive and private, right there under her bleary-faced pic on the cover of US magazine! And wasn&#8217;t she just on Access Hollywood, too? Let me tell you, &#8220;secret&#8221; and &#8220;private&#8221; are not words this woman evokes when I think of her. <\/p>\n<p>And this past issue&#8217;s chuckle: &#8220;Nicole (Richie) Gains 10 Pounds&#8221;<br \/>Sweet jesus. Do we still care? How can you even tell? The woman looks like a boiled chicken. She obviously has issues, and stalking her anorexic ass everywhere isn&#8217;t going to make her start eating Cheetos. (Maybe she needs to pal around with Britney, who dominates the cover!)  Granted, who am I to point fingers at the skinny &#8211; you&#8217;ve never been able to clearly identify all the ridges and bones in MY sternum, so from an anatomy textbook perspective, she&#8217;s a walking teaching model for budding doctors everywhere. But really, are an estimated 10# :that: gossip-worthy?<\/p>\n<p>Oh, and one final thing. Bubble skirts. They&#8217;re stupid. STOO-PID. If they make Molly Sims look like she&#8217;s wearing an artfully-gathered potato sack (Hi, Frumpy!), how are they going to work on the average Jane? Jesus, I&#8217;d look like a frickin&#8217; hot-air balloon crashing into the ground. Or an upside-down Jiffy-Pop bag.<\/p>\n<p>That is all. End of ranting at the stupid. For the next ten minutes, anyway.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I get &#8220;US&#8221; magazine at work, and two weeks in a row have been mightily amused by the lesser-story headlines that are still making the covers: &#8220;Anna Nicole Smith: Her Secret Grief&#8221;Ah, yes, so secret, this grief. Secretive and private, right there under her bleary-faced pic on the cover of US magazine! And wasn&#8217;t she [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/931"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=931"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/931\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=931"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=931"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/plazajen.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=931"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}