Day: February 10, 2005

Add it to the list: Leaving work – leaving work LATE – and – drum roll – THE SUN IS STILL SHINING. Yay for rotational axis and all that other science stuff I barely recall now. Yay!

And, lest ye forget to be grateful, tomorrow? Friday. Mmmhmm. It’s nearly here. Rejoice and be merry.

After another email went out with improper usage of an apostrophe, I contacted my two allies, known rebel fighters against the ever-marching War on Grammar, and informed them that when the revolution finally happens, and I rule the world, a punctuation test will be issued to determine if you live in the Land of Happy or on a tundra, with a remedial notebook and only a penguin for reference. One was terribly excited that he would finally have a chance to live in the Land of Happy, though that was difficult to conclude because the reply was rife with punctuation & grammatical errors. (Intentional, of course.) The other? She wants to be my Minister of Misused Apostrophes. I told her she could then issue “whipping’s”.

Yes. It is difficult being this perfect and snotty, ALL THE TIME. Pray you never have to carry the burden.

1. If I could, my next car would be a Sheriff car. With lights. I would NEVER BE LATE again. Or, conversely, I could do what I want even longer, and still arrive at the usual time.

2. If I could eat pad thai for breakfast today, I WOULD. I am Thai-riffic.

3. Billy Corrigan nailed it with the line, “Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.”

I am annoyed at P.C. with his little happy announcement he plans to marry Camilla in April. Yes, they both look like horses and they can go gallop off together, but he was such a schmo and like any good child of the 80’s, my loyalties will always lie with Diana.

And come ON, his whole “hot phone sex chat” with Camilla? Where he wished he could be a tampon and live in her pocket? What is THAT? I guess he gets props for not wishing he were a maxi-pad with wings, but we may need to toss the analysis to the ever-entertaining, Sue Johanson.

I believe in fate (or Fate, however you like it), to some extent. I think things happen (or don’t happen) because something else is waiting to unfold. There have been things I’ve wanted in my life, jobs, relationships – that didn’t pan out. I think on both of those fronts, I needed to wait and meet JWo, which is why I didn’t get that glamorous job in San Francisco, and moved to Kansas City, instead. So, for some time, JWo has expressed his desire to own a Bowflex, and we started discussing it again this month, what with a tax refund on the horizon, and the fact they sell them that at the other powerful force in my life, CostCo.

So when we got home on Monday night, remember, that half-priced drink night? We’d run to CostCo first, for recordable DVDs they don’t sell, and other stuff we immediately needed – and as we exited, we were handed the Joyous Sheet of Coupons, and later that night we discovered the message being sent to us: $150 off a BowFlex. Next week. See? I am meant to have the body of a 50-year-old grandmother. Can you believe it? I’m still reeling.