Imagine, if you will, someone who parallels George Costanza. I adore our friend Greg. He is actually one of my oldest friends here in Kansas City, because we worked together at my first agency (and my second…) and then he decided it might be a better idea to get a degree in law & jump out of the Crazy Ad Train. Now he shuttles between KC & D.C., and he said he won’t come to our fish fry if he doesn’t appear in my blog. Never one to disappoint – and I’ve never forgotten the fact I didn’t give him the birthday present he wanted so many years ago (me doing comedy improv at an improv place in town!), so I figure I still owe him.

Greg, G, where do I begin? Do I talk about the time at coffee night, you decided to leave one of those comments on the KCTV5 machines they were shuttling around town? And you were paranoid about us hearing you, so you got really close to the camera, which resulted in an EXTREME close-up? (I um, still have the tape, too, btw. Think about if you decide to run for office…) Or the fifty cents? We’d often lunch at Tanner’s, and Greg could always be counted upon to kvetch about how they always stiffed him with the extra fifty cents, because of course you leave the change on top of your tip and ALWAYS with the fifty cents, so I went and bought him a cake for his birthday, that had a Snickers bar cut into thirds on top? And washed two shiny quarters and cemented them between the spaces and dubbed it the fiddy-cent cake. Perhaps it was the time he dated a former Miss Minnesota, and broke out in hives and his doctor ordered him to stop dating her. (That was classic Greg-Costanza behavior!) Greg is such a good friend, he helped me move into Widow Creek, and amid all the stress, I remember two points of near-hysterical laughter: Greg whispering “I see old people!” (because Widow Creek was practically a nursing home) and Greg getting stuck with the really bad dolly that had one wheel that just went apeshit side-to-side.

Greg’s dating life and updates have always been awesomely funny, and again, he could have his own sitcom if he really put his mind to it. For a while there, it seemed like Greg ran into people he knew every time he was out with his girlfriend, and he had her convinced that he was almost a KC celebrity. (Almost.) In that vein, he also sent out one of the funniest pictures I’ve ever seen, telling all of us, hey! I was at this function, and look at the picture of me with Jason Whitlock (sports writer for the Kansas City Star) and Buck O’Neil (legendary baseball player & KC native)!

Here’s that famous pic…. Buck, Jason & Greg….
Buck Jason Greg
(oh, yeah, Greg’s white. He’s over Jason’s shoulder.)

The best thing about Greg is that he never hesitates to laugh at himself. The other best thing about Greg is that he’s a great, true friend. He called to check on me last summer, to see how I was doing, and I know that even though we have gaps and distance and time between when we see each other, he’s still my friend, we pick up and get up-to-date and have some more laughs. I know you’ll be in D.C. when we have the fish fry, my friend, but we’ll put up your supermodel photos I took last time you were in town, in your honor.

Greg, showing his best Blue Steel:
Getting His "Blue Steel" On...

Happy 4th of July, Greg. Your KC peeps miss ya!

Greg!