Riding the Bike with One Pedal.

Brilliant Little Orts….

1. OK, my first random ort is from the current issue of People magazine. Ya know, Sexiest Man Alive issue, blah blah blah (I get my People fo’ free! Rep gift.) I used to get US, too, but they finally figured out I don’t run ads in there so away it went. Anyway. I enjoyed the cover story (Hugh Jackman! Yes, I agree with the title!) and then happened upon this little four-page segment, where hot studly men had SCRATCH AND SNIFF circles on their photos, and you could smell the cologne they wear. Or at least say they wear. This is one brilliant bit of marketing, I think. The publisher was very careful to state that subscribers who’d requested scent-free issues did not receive this, and so on and so forth, and while none of the fragrances grabbed me by the collar and made me want to rush out and buy a bottle for the Wo? I laughed. Every. Single. Time I sniffed. Because how funny is that, I’m holding a sexy-hottie man’s picture up to my face, engaged in something I think would be pretty intimate to do to them in person, especially since I’m sniffing Chris Meloni’s neck. Only one brand name – but what a great way to get your product in the hands of engaged readers. Especially when it’s on Michael Phelps’ torso!

2. I have a cold. Bleah. We have been the House of Illness for too long – starting with James’ gout, and then he got pneumonia, and now that he’s on the mend, I’m on the decline. It’s not the worst cold ever? I’m just congested and feel like I’m in a stupor. (Except when I’m snorgling Taye Digge’s photo. I can still smell, obviously.)

3. I Wish I Had Taken A Picture #2: (yes, out of order) I just cleaned our stainless-steel coffee pot. It was really getting on my nerves, and despite trying to scrub it, the coffee stains weren’t budging. It looked like we’d been using it without even a rinse for ten years. (which isn’t true!) So to the internets I went, and, by god, there were a couple of solutions – dishwasher detergent, or OxyClean. Well, we use those little toss-in tablets, instead of powder or liquid, so I trundled downstairs and got some OxyClean. HOLY CRAP. It immediately started foaming, and because I’m nebbish and curious, I couldn’t walk away, so I poured off the foam and -gasp- started to see silver. I added more water, got out the scrub brush, did a few swipes, and gaped in amazement as I poured off a latte-colored mixture of suds and coffee oils, to see a like-new interior. IT WORKS. I’m pleased as punch. Kinda makes me wonder what in hell it’s doing to our clothes, though!

4. I Wish I Had Taken A Picture #1: The other morning, I went to let the dogs in, and it was that super-chilly morning, the one reminding us that it really is winter-time, and two dogs were waiting at the door, and came flying in. In the dark, I assumed the fleeting black dogs that passed me were the usual two who wait at the door: Polly and Suzy. I whistled for Tripper. Heard rustling, then a metallic clanking. Tripper likes to find random things all around the back yard & in James’ shed, so I yelled at him to “LEAVE IT!” and to come in. I can tell there’s a dog at the base of the stairs, and there’s more metal dragging. So I flip on the light, and it’s SUZY, and she’s decided she could could just go through the decorative fencing we’d put up around the grass garden. Uh, well, she did go through, HALF WAY. She had about 6′ of fence attached to her midriff. So out into the cold I went, asking her if she thought she was Winnie the Pooh or something, and quickly stretched the wire so she could step out of it. She was elated, scampering & jumping around, and all I could do was shake my head. And wish I’d snapped a photo of her ‘in fence’.

Next week’s Thanksgiving, which means a short work week for most, a big meal with family and friends, and for many, a big day of shopping. I’m thinking about finally breaking the habit and not going out. I believe I got rather cranky last year and didn’t really find anything we needed, even among the deals. Guess it depends on who’s name I get for Xmas gift-giving, I suppose. If you’re curious about whether or not it’s worth your while, you can always scope out the Black Friday sales flyers ahead of time. I always wonder who it is that’s scanning them and sending them in, hm? Someone at the printer? Someone at the newspaper? I think this year, nobody should even care about the deals getting leaked, most companies will be glad for the business any way they can get it. Happy Saturday night!


  1. Patchchord

    RE #1: That’s genius.

  2. T.

    OxyClean? That’s scary – what if the chemicals stuck around and upon ingestion James started “talking” like Billy Mays?

    As I recall, a coworker’s grungy clear glass coffee cup became sparkling clear after making instant oatmeal in it. Once. Don’t know if I’ve eaten instant oatmeal since then…

  3. lauragayle

    Thanks for the OxyClean tip — I cleaned out my grungy stainless steel travel mug. Of course I’ve not drank coffee in it yet … but…!

  4. Becky

    So for me, the question is where exactly was the scratch/sniff placed? 🙂

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