My Plague, It Has A First Name…..

It’s B-R-O-N-Chitis and no I don’t know if it has a last name, I’m simply too busy punching it in the face.

Yep, I went back to the Minute Clinic on Thursday because what with all the hacking, and I still have yet to sleep fully through the night, I was about ready to take the shreddy end of a hammer to anything in range.

Newsflash: the entire world is sick. My previous visit had no wait, and I zipped right in, and of course, it was too early to BE anything. But this trip, there were three patients ahead of me in line, all families with children. I waited about an hour, halfway through sitting there, I started to wonder if I should go to a different location, but then, seriously, that’s like the same mojo when you start eyeballing other lanes at the grocery store, only in this case, you can’t even SEE the other lanes. So I stuck it out. Though I do have a request for the CVS at 75th & Metcalf in Overland Park, KS: PLEASE PUT THE MUSICAL GREETING CARDS SOMEPLACE OTHER THAN THE WAITING AREA FOR THE MINUTE CLINIC.

I heard the opening music to Star Wars more times than I could count. And then one little girl discovered she liked to dance to a li’l C+C Music Factory, so I was flashing back to 1990 as “I’ve got the Power! Power!” played over and over. And over. Again.

Another family had an appetizer of Slim Jims while we waited, and I can tell you I’m in no hurry to snap into one of those any time soon, either.

BUT it was all worth it, because I walked out two hours later with a Z-pack (the elephant gun of antibiotic treatments), some cough syrup with codeine, and a nebulizer. I’ve never really used one of those, so it’s been a bit of a novelty, and I get this strange image of being a nerdy high schooler with asthma every time I use it. (I actually never knew anyone IN high school who used one, so this is all apparently colorful fiction in my mind’s eye.) The sucker really does work, though.  And I can tell I’m starting to get better, and then I get all ambitious and think about doing something….and then I take a 3-hour nap. I had to work pretty hard this week, and I had a really big presentation on Thursday, which I did at least get through without coughing in a frightening way. (I timed my coughs when people were laughing!)

I’ve got another big meeting next week, but then I’m definitely going to take a couple days off, go fishing with my husband, and maybe catch another one of those huge ol’ spoonbill! James has been working diligently on the boat, as well as growing seedlings, so I know spring is coming. Never mind six inches of snow last weekend, that was just a fluke!

OH the other thing I bought at CVS, because I was wandering around the medicine aisles while I was waiting for my prescriptions, was a little jar of Vicks Vapo-Rub. Actually, a little jar of the CVS brand, because the only branded product came in a tub the size of a mixing bowl, and that seemed like a little too much overkill for some nostalgia.  I put some on my chest & throat last night, and then a little more, and that familiar camphor-menthol smell alone just soothed me. I crawled into bed, thinking about how long it had to have been since I’d used the stuff – 30? 32 years? And as I lay there, it began to warm. Ever so much more. Perhaps I had been a little TOO liberal with the stuff.  So much so that I think, hypothetically, of course, that if perhaps a SWAT agent were to come into our bedroom wearing night-vision goggles, I am pretty sure a Blazing Beacon of Vapo would effectively blind them.

But then they’d still be able to find me, what with the coughing and the camphor. My imagination. Sometimes it needs to just take a nap! Sounds good to me……