Riding the Bike with One Pedal.

Blight in Da Hood

I love the Kansas City Action Line. I used to think there were just three black women, truly running the city. Now I know there’s also a dude.

There is a house in our neighborhood (not Crazy Cat Lady’s) that is an abomination. They cut down a tree this spring – ok, no problem – but left the wood all in a jumble. Ok, I don’t get my knickers in a twist over a woodpile. But they put all their brush in the ditch, where apparently it was an offering to the Great Beaver Gods, intended to be dragged away by magical beavers building a mythical dam in Indian Creek, over a mile away.  That’s my spin on it, anyway. I know in my heart of hearts they’re just drunk, stupid & lazy.

So you’d think… ok. Lotsa brush, lotsa wood. Is it really worth throwing said neighborhood folks under the bus? Well, as I put it tonight on the phone to the very nice man at the Action Line, the rest of the yard is… (I struggled to not use profanity, while searching for appropriate words…) the rest of the yard is Sanford & Sons. He started to laugh. Buoyed by his response, I continued, ” Like, I hear, ‘Ba ba BA DA, BA BA DA DA DA DA DA ba ba ba’ whenever I drive by,” as I entertained him my interpretation of the saxophone into to said sitcom.

He could not speak for a few seconds, because he was laughing so hard, and then he apologized for losing his composure (don’t be silly! You’re all-powerful, you deserve to laugh!)

Turns out there have been two other calls before me, and they were cited 14 days ago. Which means they’re due for a re-inspection almost immediately, and with that can come court summons and a fine! Zoiks! I’m pretty sure one of the folks who lives closer to the house lost their patience sooner.

I love the action line. It should never, ever go away. Just like this tune. You know you wanna hear it again:

4 Comments

  1. Teri

    Great! That will be going through my head for the next few days.

  2. shannon in oregon

    i just watched a show called hoarders. guy in oklahoma was profiled. “i’m gonna strip those 62 cars for scrap metal…those 95 warshers, too…” things had been piling up for years, slowly but surely.

    love the description. now i’ve got that song in my head, too. :)

  3. Average Jane

    That sounds like the house across the street from my dad’s house (also in the Plaza area). Unfortunately, no amount of sanctions or condemnations, etc. from the city have been effective in getting the owners to clean up their giant brushpiles, etc.

  4. Chelle

    You are hysterical. I definitely remember Sanford and Son. Yep.

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