Riding the Bike with One Pedal.

Handy Life Advice

You know how they say you shouldn’t go to the grocery store hungry? Well, take it from me, you shouldn’t go when you’re tired, either.

Last night, at about 10:55 pm, I realized that almost all the things on my list were from the big four-day “10-for$10” sale that was ending in an hour and five minutes, and I had a choice: skip shopping altogether, or suck it up and go right away. I decided to suck it up, threw on my coat (no, not over my pajamas, I was fully dressed!) and headed out.

When you grocery-shop-tired, you don’t impulse-buy salty snacks and ding-dongs. In fact, you stick to your list like a crazy, obedient zombie. The store is almost desolate, except for all the shelf-stockers. (Note to those who ignore my advice and do this at some point: make sure you have your list, as all the signs for the sale items are down well before midnight!)  My big goal, the ground turkey, was still well-stocked, and I loaded up my cart, pleased with all my savings. I even bought a bottle of honey bourbon, wondering if it was possible to buy liquor that late on a Sunday. (It is. It’s Missouri!)

When you’re tired, you make choices about what you might leave in the car in the garage. Potato chips, for instance. Minimize the number of bags that have to go in. And I can guaran-damn-tee you that of all the bags you grab, the one you won’t have a good grip on? Will be that fucking bottle of bourbon, and as it falls, your brain wonders if it’s the bag with the can of pineapple juice, or is it the bag with the dish soap and then your ears tell your brain the sound was glass, and your nose tells your brain that the garage now smells like a saloon. And you’ll see all those savings from the ground turkey smashed on the cement floor, spreading under the car and it’s 11:30 at night and all you want to do is go to bed. So you’ll try to get all the glass, and put down a bunch of paper towels and grumpily put yourself to bed, knowing what awaits in the morning.

Cleanup, aisle 10!


  1. lauragayle

    If you didn’t need a drink before, you certainly did after that. Your OCD friend here would have made sure it was all cleaned up before going to bed, no matter how tired. And there certainly would have been some goofy mishap involving that as well…

  2. PlazaJen

    LGG – I was cognizant enough to realize that in my state, I would probably end up cutting myself on the broken glass. JWo came home and asked what the smell in the garage was – why, Mrs. Meyer’s Geranium cleaner, honey! LOL! (Actually, I just said: “Read my blog.”)

  3. Chelle

    Oh my gosh, that really IS the way of things. Such a pain. You gotta laugh. And you were wise going to bed because you probably WOULD have cute your hands if you’d tried to clean it up right then. Although if it were me, I would have forgotten about it and driven over a huge glass shard the next day and sliced my tire.

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