I was reading Becky’s blog and her musings on love in the wake of Valentine’s Day inspired some thoughts of my own.
The main thought being that nobody anywhere portrays love as work, and I think that’s a huge disservice to love. I can hear the sniffing, “Well, love shouldn’t BE work”, and I guess love in itself is not work, per se, but marriage, and healthy relationships do require it. (and it’s not BAD that it’s work, either.) It’s just that you have to put something into it, all the time. It’s not a painting that you save up and buy and hang on the wall and you’re done. I think that’s the big myth that is perpetuated, because how can you quantify 365 days of work each year into a 2-hour movie? Hollywood scripts it so we see
1. Initial attraction,
2. Ensuing pratfalls and hilarious obstacles,
3. Magical moment where all obstacles are swept away,
4. Happily Ever After.
They don’t show minor squabbles or the satisfying moments when you lean your head against your partner and feel their warmth transfer to your own skin.
And I do believe in Happily Ever After. You just have to live it one day at a time, and have realistic expectations that not every day will be scripted by an adept writer. I’ve talked to my dear friend who has been married for over thirty years – and she’s the first to acknowledge how much work goes into a successful marriage. I think there’s an unfair, negative association with the word “Work”, because in our society, it’s usually the opposite of “Fun”. So maybe the more palatable word is “Investment”. Or maybe we start using poker terminology.
JWo, I’m all in.
My high school BF wanted to break up after seeing Jerry Maguire which he interpreted as suggesting that love means never having to work. Now he’s engaged. I wonder how that will work out.
I’m a member of the married-more-than-20-years club. Yeah, it takes work. It also takes tolerance of one’s little differences and deciding what’s important enough to worry about. (i.e., he’s neat, I’m messy – that type of thing) It seems that so many people won’t work on that. Copout.
Hi! I was referred to your blog by Ms. Funky McSpunky, (Kristin, of course) and I just about read everything I could scroll through, and I’m not a patient reader. Well done! I am a thirty-something single girl, so I have no comment on your post (other than “Love stinks, yeah, yeah”), but I wanted to say hello, and let you know you made me laugh, and I will be continuing to read your blog. But honey, you need more pictures! Where’s the knitting?