So this summer’s big song (or one of the big songs) has been “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke, et al. The video garnered controversy, parodies, blustering accusations of misogyny and directorial defenses claiming the women were really the ones in control (despite wearing far less clothing than the men.)
I just want to start a recurring blog topic that talks about dumb. ass. lyrics. Because I’m the first one to get lyrics wrong, and I look them up so I’m not the one belting out, “WANT YOU TO LOVE ME… LIKE A HOT PIE….” ala Rihanna (“The Only Girl in the World” – and it’s “Hot Ride”, not “pie.”) So in a better effort to understand some of the accusations about the song, I thought, let’s read what these blurred lines are really about! I originally thought it was about moving between a friendship to a sexual relationship, or maybe the blur between “good girl” and “bad girl” (the Madonna/Whore complex) – then I read, no, it’s about consent, and these are rape lyrics. Huh. It’s a motherfuckin’ catchy rape earworm, if that’s the case, and how disappointing. BUT, all of that aside? Let’s just take a gander at how T.I. starts off his part of the song – keep in mind, I listen to the explicit version, not the radio edit which makes his section sound like the FCC has a hair-trigger finger combined with a sneezing allergy attack what with all the bleeping out:

One thing I ask of you
Let me be the one you back that ass to
Go, from Malibu, to Paris, boo
Yeah, I had a bitch, but she ain’t bad as you
So hit me up when you passing through
I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two

OK. Hang on a sec, T. You have one thing to ask of me, and that’s that I back my ass up to you. Ok. I get it. Back that thang up, it’s been done before. Not thrilled you’re talking about another lover as a “bitch”, that sends up a red flag for me, frankly, telling me that you’re not much of a gentleman, but you were making a request and I was listening. But three lines later, you’re basically threatening me with an episiotomy? HUH? There isn’t anything sexy, romantic, or even BLURRY about tearing asses in two. I’m glad you’re proud of your dick, but really? There should be a little mystery left in life, and there should be a little … gallantry when it comes to seduction. Since we can all figure out “what rhymes with hug me”, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, perhaps spelling your version out isn’t :really: necessary.

Ass. (literally)

And if you haven’t seen the great parody video – here it is. You can find the original one with The Googel, grasshopper.