Day: November 16, 2005

So, Mr. JWo got home today from a five-day vacation of hunting, solitude, and meditation. He came home to a spic-n-span house, cleaned by this very industrious woman (not me) we hired, and many, many new forms of organization put into place in his absence, and the garage is nearly cleaned out completely, and a wife who is running around like she has been snorting cocaine all day.

We went to Red Lobster, because why dirty the sparkling-clean kitchen or eat leftovers? And we were seated by a family with a toddler who screamed, ever moment we were there. I maintained my composure, keeping focus on my Endless Shrimp and our Conversation, thinking of the Dooce post of not judging other parents because I’m childless and not accustomed to the shrieking even though I think she might have permanently warped my ear canals. Then, we got home, & my large Buddha JWo tottered off to bed, where I tucked him in with an electric blanket & proceeded to give a 10-minute dissertation on how from now on, I will hang up his ties, and how we are going to Keep Tidy, and how we are starting a new chapter in the War on Clutter. (Perhaps having a Venti Caffe Mocha at 1:30 in the afternoon was …. a little late for a power surge.)

He laughed at me, because I get on these Grand Schemes That Don’t Last But Maybe This Time Is The Time It Does, but seriously, it’s better to humor me than fight it, and he knows it, so he just sleepily pointed out that he was so at peace with the world, he felt like a Tibetan monk. I agreed, for he was extremely Zen and mellow, and countered with the notion that we were kind of like Ghandi and Idi Amin, because I was in a very high-key, monkey-chattering dictator sort of place.

That reminds me. I have this great idea to build a wall out of bones. Be right back.

I don’t know how much of what I do is performance for the amusement & enjoyment of others, and how much of it is purely me, no cameras, no lights, no audience. All I know is that if Kristin weren’t here? I would go crazy, and the people who sit by me would find me bizarre & eccentric, tiresome & foul-mouthed. Instead, I can start shrieking about mullet-wearing hicks who put their photos on their BUSINESS website, and how I don’t want to call said mullet-heads, because it’s like releasing a pack of bichon frise’ dogs, who will ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF at my heels for months to come, even though I am only requesting information for new business, not for anything tangible with a budget.

Then there’s the dipshit who has called me four times today, because he wants to talk before he sends rates. Hey? Guess what? I hate you, and we haven’t even met yet. How will that help the negotiation process now? HOW’S THAT WORKIN’ FOR YA, STUPIDO GIGANTE?????

To answer my first question, I think I’m encouraged to share my natural rantings, because I know Kristin understands me, has equally hilarious rants of her own, and to quote Shrek, “Better out than in, I say.” So it’s a good venting process and I don’t go home crying or watch my hair fall out. But even in my solo car ride to lunch today, I muttered and lipped off at this IDIOT driver who could not stay in her lane, and she even got the Hairy Eyeball as I passed her, but she was too afraid to look at me. As she should be.

And at my lunch today? I actually said, “Pardon my French, but FUCK.”
Just a fragile li’l orchid, I am. PRETTY. but fun!

I think Miss Winter has finally arrived…… the temperatures are dropping, we had snow mixed with rain yesterday, and it’s time to bundle up! Inside AND Outside, as we’re fighting the notion of paying $900 a month for heating expenses. ….but we are drawing the line at letting the dogs sleep in bed with us. (Though labs put out a LOT of heat!)

Here are a couple pictures of a tree on my street that was just phenomenal in its heyday:

Next up: Staying Vertical in an Icy, Icy World!