Day: November 18, 2005

Holy Toledo. I thought Weekend would never get here. PHEW! Thank goodness for that whole spinning-of-the-earth and the sun and all that jazz that can’t be frozen or halted no matter how hard people try!

I have an Agenda for Weekend. It is not Hidden. Those are dreadful and bad and really, life-shortening, if you ask me. My agenda involves shopping for more Organizational Items That Will Change Our Lives Forever, it involves some Serious-Ass Power Knitting, because now I have two pairs of mittens and a hat and a muffler to make by Wednesday (bring on the knitting cocaine! (chocolate + thai food)) and a whooooole bunch of DVR’d shows, plus I now have all of the first season of Nip/Tuck, and nothing says loving yourself & finding inner peace like watching a show featuring people who cut themselves up to improve their lives & appearances!

I also was going to be purchasing an MP3 player, and have concluded that I am Too Old. My purposes are different than you mobile, jogging sorts. I want to organize everything, including my CD’s, and I thought an iPod was the answer to my prayers. But, after consulting our IT person, my needs are (shockingly) much more complex and unanswerable with a single gadget. JWo, while he is not here this weekend, wherever he is right now, suddenly looked up and is suddenly feeling Not Surprised. So, I figure I just saved myself about $530, because if you give a mouse an iPod, then she’ll want an external hard drive, and if you give a mouse an external hard drive, then she’ll want a docking sound system. Give the mouse a docking sound system and then she’ll demand a wireless transmitter for the car. Instead, the mouse is getting her big-ass television set. Dammit.

For, dear readers, the garage is worthy. Empty. Ready. The deal which was struck months back has closure. And I wanna start watching “My Name Is Earl” and think that Jason Lee is actually SITTING, life-sized, over to my left. Duuuuuuude!

That is my rock-em, sock-em weekend and I love it. There’ll be some cooking, I’ll probably get up at 4 a.m. to go to the grocery store (think of it as “training” for the day after Thanksgiving! – insert theme to Rocky -) because I can’t imagine what Saturday afternoon’s gonna look like at the Price Chopper….. I’d end up committing hari kari in the checkout line using a Twix bar and a soap opera magazine. And that’d be a hell of a way to screw up a perfectly good weekend. Not to mention, a waste of chocolate.

This hat was a request. Opening weekend of duck season is a day of pranks for my husband – he’s thrown out little rubber duckies with the decoys in the past – to joke with his buddies. This year? He put on this hat. It took several consultation conversations, rough drawings, and a search for sew-on googly eyes that eventually I gave up on, and decided instead to epoxy-glue big googly eyes onto threaded buttons. JWo helped pick out the yarn for color accuracy to the mallard duck, and he’s even worn the hat in large groups of people at early hours, when they draw numbers for picking order for their blinds. I love that he does this, because people look at him a little funny….. but they’re most likely dumbstruck with insane jealousy.

There’s no such thing as going too far to get the laughs in our house.

OK, in the new Madonna video, “Hung Up”? In the beginning, she’s gyrating around on the floor wearing a godawful outfit, including these capri-length sheer hose? and as she keeps dancing, they become knee length. Which makes sense, of course, even if you’re skinny & in great shape, those suckers are gonna roll up to your knees if you’re putting your ankles behind your head & dancing with Farrah Fawcett Hair. But? Half the shots spliced together have the hose back at capri-length.

That kind of shit drives me CRAZY.