…our niece, Danielle, is a member of eleventeen billion Facebook groups. One afternoon, James rapid-fire read them off, as we collapsed in laughter, because they are so indicative of how kid brains work. Sure, technology has come a long way since I was her age, like, we have the Wii instead of Magic Merlin, but the sheer silliness is still there.

For instance:

Danielle became a fan of I stay up late every night, and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.
Danielle became a fan of i wonder if british people sit around trying to talk in an American accent?
Danielle became a fan of “Hey can i have a Starburst?” “Here” “No, I want the pink one.”
Danielle became a fan of Inbox (1) makes me nervous.
Danielle became a fan of I hate it when my parents wont answer their phone but get mad when i dont!
Danielle became a fan of “OH, SO LET ME TELL YOU THIS STORY…” “Dude, I was there with you.” “Oh.”
Danielle became a fan of 1 word texts to me mean: 1. you don’t care or 2. I did something wrong.

So now, I have caught myself thinking in terms of Fan Groups I Could Start, like,

Jennifer became a fan of “I Hate When the Light Catches On My BlackBerry and I Think I Have A Message.”

Jennifer became a fan of “I Get Worried When I Walk Into the Kitchen, Forget Why I Went There, And Wonder If It’s Early-Onset Alzheimer’s”

Jennifer became a fan of  “I Believe Office Supplies Can Change My Life”
Jennifer became a fan of “Sometimes I Talk To Touch Screens As If They Could Hear Me”
Jennifer became a fan of  “I’m Becoming That Crazy Lady Who Yells At Cars Speeding Down My Street”

Yes, Facebook, you certainly are a time suck.