Riding the Bike with One Pedal.

Month: September 2010 (Page 1 of 2)

I Would Shoot This Week Like I’d Put Down A Rabid Possum, If I Could.

Hey, didja all enjoy the full moon this week? Beautiful, bright, havoc-wreaking full moon that it was? Good god. The Crazy ratcheted up pretty high this week, I must say.

On Wednesday, I met a couple friends for an impromptu lunch at Red Snapper. Upon leaving, I thought my back tire looked low. Indeed, it was. As in almost flat. Yikes! So I hustled across the street, got air back in it, skipped my errands, and came home. It stayed inflated pretty well and looked good the next morning, so we assumed it was a temporary seal thing, hitting a pothole, etc. But now I’m paranoid. So I left work yesterday with paranoia in my heart, looked at my tire, and decided it looked lower. Not like the first time, but lower and something must be wrong. (One thing to know about me: I go from blissfully ignorant to OMFG WE’RE GONNA DIE AND LOSE ALL OUR MONEY FIRST in about 8.2 seconds flat.) So I’m worrying. And as I start to drive in the parking lot, I hear this crazy noise. OMFG! I pull over, spanning four parking spaces, and put the car in park, frozen, listening. I’m quite certain this sound is coming from my tire. Except the sound continues, after I’ve stopped. I finally realized that it was a plane flying overhead. Yay! I’m losing my mind!

Get home, the Wo takes a look, agrees it’s low, and we come up with the game plan: tomorrow at some point, I’ll go in to Firestone, get the thing fixed, get an oil change, and be on my merry way. We refill a bit with the pump he has. He checks it this morning: pretty low again, so now we accelerate the time frame, and I’m heading up there for an 8 am appointment so they can get it taken care of and I can be in Westport by 9:45. Everything seems fine, I’m hanging with Mr. Magoo in the waiting area until he’s finished, then I switch seats so I can keep an eye on things, and get called to the counter around 9. Lookin’ good. Except for one thing. They can’t fix the tire. It’s all shredded on the inside, he says. And my two front tires have wear on the insides of the tires and you can’t see it unless the car is up on the hoochymomma thingy, but it’s really bad and I need four new tires, he gestures at wildly circled numbers on a sheet of paper and can I hang on a sec because he has to run something out to some manager in the parking lot.

I get out the phone, and call the Wo. Tell him briefly that I’m being sold 4 new tires and could he talk to the man when he returns. Which he does, at that moment. I hand the phone over, he goes through the spiel again, and hands the phone back to me.

Now. Here is where, for me, it really broke apart. I can be blissfully clueless and unaware at times. But the rest of the time, my antennae are set on “11”. And so, as I take the phone, and as most people do, my head tilts down to listen and talk. But I am still watching the employee – who is looking at the computer, and I see, in this short second, he rolls his eyes. So as I’m hearing my husband in my left ear “THEYARETRYINGTOSELLYOUTIRESYOUDON’TNEEDYOUNEEDTOGOSOMEWHEREELSE” I’m thinking, “You motherfucker. There are two people standing right here, and the only one who gets to roll their eyes at my husband? IS ME.” So I’m pissed. He’s pissed. The Wo’s pissed. I hang up. Store dude looks at me and I say, “OK, this is why I let him handle these things. Can we just fill the tire with air and I’ll pay for my oil change?” And he says, “Well, he sounded really angry, I’m just saying, if you don’t replace all four tires, you have AWD, you would void your warranty (I’m still puzzling that one, as the dealer’s warranty expired a year ago), and let me take you back in the shop and show you this wear, you can’t see it unless the car’s in the air, so you can explain it to your husband,” and I’m all, “NO, that’s fine, let’s just settle up here.”

Because if I go back into the garage, it’s another point of sales pitch to wear the little lady down, I suspect.

So I wait, and then another employee comes in and tells me all about her morning and how she was t-boned on her way in and blah blah blah, and then a new dude comes in and says it looks like I need to be helped. I decline, saying I’m just waiting. But here’s what I think is interesting. First dude has now gone back into the garage, and never comes back out to interact with me again. New dude is now “handling me” and feigns shock and awe at the numbers on my tires and that I’m going to drive off the lot with my car in such a state, even, but is all smiles and polish and tells me they will give me their recommendations and an estimate, should I want to return. Now, I’m not all-knowing in the world of auto repair but I felt like this guy’s appearance was definitely a planned move and part of the whole schtick. (I heard the schtick given by the t-boned employee over the phone, all the dreadful things they found and how much it would cost.)

I pay, collect my key, my receipt and go. In my car, I look at the price tag: just over $1,100. Yes, eleven-hundred. Dollars.

The Wo is already regretting having sent me there, but he wanted me to have a nice place to sit and wait, but now I’m going where he wished he’d sent me in the first place, to Larry’s Wholesale Tires on Wornall.  Larry, or his other cousin Larry, comes in from the shop to see what I need and sends me down the road to the U-Haul place (which he also owns, and I ponder this, thinking how unassuming he is and he probably is quite well-off), because that’s where they fix tires. Honestly, I don’t know why I ever thought I’d be incapable of driving a car in NYC, because if you can cross two lanes of Wornall without a light and make repeated left-hand turns while you’re on it, I’d say you could take on just about any traffic situation in this country. I get down to the U-Haul spot and for whatever reason, I am instantly reassured. I’m greeted, there’s no problem, just back it in here, okey dokey, the guy finds a 1.5″ metal shiv that’s in the main part of the tread, he extracts it, does other manly things to the tire (including patching it), tells me he doesn’t see any shredding, but at some point I’ll need A new tire, because the side seam looks a little worn, and they all blinked when I told them what their neighbors up the street wanted me to spend.

So then I ate some Indian food at Chai Shai with Beth and knitted and decompressed (and wished I’d gotten the mango shake instead of the iced chai, because o.m.g. is it good,) ran into Dan of Gone Mild there, always nice to see him and say hello.

Then I came home, and discovered the breezeway was filled with bits of foam and bright red maribou feathers. Because Tripper had GONE INTO THE CLOSET, removed one slipper, and systematically shredded it everywhere. Then he took JWo’s old shoe he’d already done a number on, and completely chewed off the toe. That fucking dog isn’t getting out of his crate until he’s 12.

Next on my list? Re-installing software on my laptop that was rebuilt on Wednesday. I told you, this week has just been from hell! TGIF, indeed!

Ahhhh, Spelling.

Ironically, I was thinking this morning about how, at a former place of employment, typos weren’t really regarded as the heinous transgressions that they are, and it was quite minimized whenever I raised the issue. But, that’s their cross to bear now, as it’s my experience that most clients really, really appreciate it when you spell their stuff correctly. Or put together plans and recommendations that don’t have proper grammar, punctuation and other high school English mistakes.  This photo isn’t their work, by the way. It just felt fitting to have run across it on the same day. Enjoy! School sure isn’t what it used to be, eh?

Full story here.

C’mon, Fall!

I don’t know about you, but I am ready for cooler weather.

wreath
Apple cider and hot tea, soups and stews bubbling on the stove.

Knitting that can pile up in your lap and you’re happy for the warmth.

The smell of fallen leaves, the wind bringing a whiff of smoke from a neighbor’s chimney, the cool dampness that follows a rainstorm as the leaves begin to decompose.

Ward Parkway (edited)

The taste of warm caramel, a sip of hot chocolate. Maybe homemade pie.

Best Apple Pie, Ever

Hand-knit socks and layers.

Warm Toes!

It’s going to stay in the upper 80’s (and hit 90′ today) this whole week, and I’m being selfish, I want the whole season, not a fast-forward slide into winter. Hurry up Fall. We’re waiting!

Nommy Sunday

One of the wonderful things that hobbies bring you includes new friends. Between knitting (that would be me) and duck hunting and tomato growing (that would be James), we have an eclectic, delightful group of friends.  Last week, we had the Bhut Jolokia tasting, and we were gifted a jar of homemade mustard from Tomato Town’s Todd & Julie (Farmer T and Farmer J, respectively). Made with whiskey. It looked stupendous:

Homemade Pretzels and Mustard

The first thing James said (after thank you!) was that we needed to get some good bratwurst from Fritz’s. I said, “Homemade pretzels.” Now that we’ve got the pretzels done and covered, I’m all for bratwurst next. This mustard was heavenly! While my pretzels turned out beautifully and delicious, the mustard was really the star of the show.

Homemade Pretzels and Mustard

I made the pretzels from Alton Brown’s recipe; they probably could have been rolled out thinner, but the taste was great. I used Mediterranean Sea Salt instead of pretzel salt, and while I followed the directions to a T with the parchment paper and the oil, I will not go that route again, as the pretzels stuck to the paper and were frustrating to try and remove. Silpats would probably work better.

Homemade Pretzels and Mustard

Utterly delicious! Thanks Julie & Todd!

End of an Era…

Sigh.

Goodbye to As The World Turns. I still remember the first time I saw the show, joining some fellow classmates in college who were eating lunch and in my usual style (Hi! Whatcha doin’? Can I come in? Who’s that lady? She looks mean. (Lucinda Walsh)”) I had to ask a lot of questions at first, and get schooled on the characters.  But it was a connection – with a show and with friends who wanted to talk about it. Twenty-five years later, my little slice of escapism has come to a close.  I missed some chunks over the years, but the characters and storylines continued on. In a strange way, it was surprising, how sad it all wound up feeling. Maybe because it was another long thread cut, a thread that connects the years, despite all the changes, the jobs, the moves. Maybe because my father has been in my dreams lately, days I wake up thinking I need to call him, only to remember I can’t.  Certainly they’re not even in the same league of loss, but the older you get, the more you experience it. I think one of the benefits of getting older is perspective, and one of the drawbacks is the melancholy that can accompany change,  and a wistfulness for how we may have done things differently. Things we wish for now are different for what we wished for then, but the world keeps turning.

All good things got to come to an end
The thrills have to fade
Before they come ’round again
The bills will be paid
And the pleasure will mend
All good things got to come to an end

(Jackson Browne)

Can’t you hear that beeeeeeping????

Yesterday afternoon, in the midst of issues with my printer/scanner, I started to hear a faint beeping. It was erratic, in many ways – the length of the beep, the frequency of the beep, the time in-between beeps. I figured it was somehow related to the fight I was having with the printer, and dashed out the door, hoping it would somehow magically resolve itself. Or perhaps just my imagination.

Ahhh, magical resolution. I sense I’m not the only one in the universe who’d like that shit to happen.

Of course, it didn’t. The beep was on such a tone/frequency that made it incredibly difficult to figure out exactly where it was coming from. I bitched about it on Ravelry. Several people suggested the usual suspect – smoke detector with a failing battery. And certainly, I’ve been plagued by that one, before, but this was different. Those tend to chirp, sharply, so even when they’re on another floor, you know you actually heard it. This beep was just enough to make you question your hearing and sanity.

I stood by the printer. Beep sounded far away. Stood in the living room. Still could hear it. Stood in the breezeway. Sounded further away. Put head in stairway leading upstairs. Nothin’. Put head in stairway leading to basement. Nothin’. Stood in living room. Faintly heard it again. OK. Gotta be in the living room, and lord help me if it’s some random thing like a digital watch, because I’m currently sitting in my very own mouse nest of knitting, papers, books and other flotsam. It has to be coming from my laptop. Unplug the speakers and the cooling mat. Yep, still beeping. WTF?! Turn it off, shut it down, and blessed silence. Indeed. It’s the laptop.

So this morning, even with the sound shut off, it persists in beeping. Rav peeps (yay #LSG) are also suggesting motherboard and cooling fan issues, and that I can go in and turn it off, but it’s probably trying to tell me something important. Dell service doesn’t seem to start until 8 am (that was the online help, I discovered), so my orange creamsicle came along for the ride to the office.

After some initial language barriers, Sir India Help Man and I were off to the races. I think he finally realized he wasn’t dealing with a plain old tack, but that in fact, I was fairly sharp, and we didn’t need to spell out “D-E-L-L” twice because I was already loping ahead of  him down the path. A few system updates and then came the inquiry, “Do you have a screwdriver?” spoken like Apu from the Simpsons, and now we were going into new territory. I’m good at putting furniture together, I read directions, I follow the steps, I enjoy the process, but things like popping off the bottom of my laptop felt a little treacherous. Fortunately, I only had to take out the battery. I thought. (My first clue should have been the fact I didn’t need to use the screwdriver.)

So after SIHM and I determine which side of the computer is which and it’s upside down, he’s telling me to find THE COMPARTMENT. Ok. The Compartment. I totally felt like I was disarming a bomb with very limited guidance. TWO SCREWS, TWO SCREWS. Well, dude, there are FOUR. No, no! They should not come out! (But they DO! they DO! I skipped telling him they just fell right on out.) Plus my line to India had a bobble that every couple of minutes we had a little 5-second tab of silence, which, when you’re unscrewing the laptop components, is enough to make you keep asking for shit to be repeated, and we were talking over each other, it was a-ok fun times, yesirreeApu. I did get the hard drive taken out, and then I was instructed to re-start the computer. (Me, ever linear and instruction-based: “Don’t I need to put the battery back in first?” “Yes! Yes! I am so sorry.” ) Well, the beeping was over at that point. So it’s the hard drive, and because I had also mentioned the mousepad getting hot, he decided to have the hard drive, motherboard and cooling fan all replaced.

Did I mention I have a two-year warranty that came with the laptop when I bought it? Thank heavens. Some tech person is going to call, make an appointment and fix it on the spot. Double thank  heavens for that part of the warranty.

So now I’m trying to make a backup, but it’s my own twisted form of backup, as Windows keeps hitting some component or software that won’t let it make a traditional backup, and I don’t want to call the Help Line back, because I just can’t imagine the fun that would be. arrrrrrrgh.

But speaking of fun, there was a point that I held the phone to the underside of my laptop and asked him if he could hear the beeping. (No, no he could not.)  Now as long as I don’t start smelling burning hair, at least I know it IS the laptop, and not the onset of a stroke.

The Hottest Pepper in the WOooooorld

Yep, the Bhut Jolokia.

Well, ok, as of 9 am, my husband discovered there’s some NEW pepper that has about 130,000 more Scoville units than the Bhut, but I really don’t care. BECAUSE I ATE THE BHUT.

The Ghost Pepper (as it’s commonly called) has over 1 million Scoville units to its pedigree. That means it’s super calicrazyfucking hot. A jalapeno has about 2500 SU. A habanero has 100k-350k SU.

Keep in mind, all the dudes were gung-ho. Oh yeah, gonna eat this chili pepper. And five of them did. My brother-in-law went all out and ended up eating about half a pepper. (HE CRAZY.) I decided to try a chunk of habanero. It really, really burned, but wasn’t debilitating.
Then the Wo finally said he’d try the Bhut. I’d told him I’d do it if he did it. (Which Beth was QUICK to remind me after he’d taken his bite.) So I did. And it really didn’t do much.So I took another bite. Ah, yes, that one …. resonated.

Here’s the crazy thing, about both the habanero and the Bhut: both had an unbelievable fresh, citrus, bright clean flavor. Before the heat even began. They were utterly delicious. Like your brain’s going, “Well, what the hell, you rang up and warned me this was going to be difficult and it’s surprisingly charming and OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD” because then, yes, after that delicious milli-moment, the burn rapidly takes over and it’s as though you’ve maced your tongue. It really does burn. But the endorphin rush is also something to be reckoned with. I felt like I’d had a victorious afternoon hike, followed by a relaxing hot tub. All from a vegetable sliver no wider than a few staples.

And I did get very hot from it. My skin flushed like nobody’s bidness:

BhutFace

But I have bragging rights now, and I can certainly stare down any bowl of salsa in the future and say “I’ve had hotter…”

P.S.

I’m not the only one who sees the Fred Phelps connection.  Here’s a (very) irreverent take on the situation:

Rights, Rights, Rights.

So, I was mulling over this crazy situation that’s coming up this weekend, with the little cult-like church down in Gainesville, FL that plans to burn the Qu’ran on September 11.
On the one hand, you have freedom of speech, and what they’re doing falls under that umbrella. It’s like the nutters of Westboro Baptist, or the Klan, or any other group you despise. Hate what they say, defend to the end their right to do it.
In fact, it’s the Number One amendment in our Bill of Rights.

On the other hand, you have freedom of religion, and it’s not particularly love-thy-brother to burn any religion’s holy book, declare them Evil and want to eradicate them. One of the persecutions our founding fathers were fleeing was an imposed religion. Wait, that’s also covered in that First Amendment. Hm. In fact, this church’s brand of lunacy dogma is protected as well.

Certainly there are greater scholars than I, who could expound for days on the topic of Constitutional Law, Religion, and freedoms in general.

What our original government never could have imagined was a day when information transmitted in the millisecond of a lightbulb turning on, that images and words and moving pictures would exist and live on ad infinitum in an ethereal world that gives as much as it takes.

So what do we do? We can’t legally order this man not to proceed with his notion of protest. It is in direct contrast to (most of) our collective values, whether you worship Jesus, Jehovah or JellyBellys. (Allah, too, but it doesn’t start with J.) I’d like to see the entire world turn their backs. If the Qu’ran burns in the forest and nobody puts it on the internet, did it really happen?

Of course, our rapacious modern media won’t do this. Someone will argue the need to record the event for historic purposes. But the media attention is what this man WANTS. Giving it to him, and thus elevating his notoriety not only in our country, but the world, is, in my opinion, irresponsible. The so-called minister of this ‘church’, and I use the term loosely, has said he’s willing to die for his beliefs, but he has no regard for how his actions could trigger the reaction that would cause the deaths of our own soldiers abroad. Sure, you can spend another fortnight arguing responsibility there – if I load a gun, turn the safety off, and hand it to a ten-year old, do I get to throw my hands in the air and say, “Hey, I didn’t pull the trigger.” ? To me, this is where the decision breaks down. If you want to burn something – even a flag- and the only repercussions are social ostracization (or acceptance by like-minded people) or the only harm can come to you, then knock yourself the hell out. But when the fucking U.S. General overseeing our military operations says, “Hey, you doing this could really start some bad shit half a continent away, and oh by the way, your little shindig will be used in terrorist training videos,” wouldn’t you think twice? Maybe I’m being generous by using the word “think”. It just angers me that one of our soldiers, doing their job in Afghanistan, could somehow suffer the fallout from this person’s “conviction” to protest.

And, while I’m at it, I object to the conversations that compare this to burning an American flag.  Because when you burn the Bible, you’re making a statement against Christians. Or the Torah, against Jews. So on and so forth. The flag? That’s all of us. You, me, black, white, every shade in-between, no matter your god, no matter your political party, no matter your income or education status: all of us are under that flag. When you make the choice to burn the flag, you are indicting our country in your protest, and it is (pick your option) an act of defiance against the entire country or an act of aggression against the entire country. Even this is still protected in our country. But these two situations are not the same.

Just remind yourself this weekend about what our First Amendment rights protect. And remember the people who died on September 11th, and all the other people, soldiers, freedom fighters who continue to die to protect this right.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

This is the most heralded truth I hold as a citizen of this country, and I am sad that the actions of one tiny pocket of our population (who enjoy the very freedoms they are denigrating) could be seen as representative of our collective beliefs about the Muslim faith.

Tuesday: Monday in Disguise

I’ve worked almost 12 hours today.

My office phone suddenly started demanding a password any time I tried to something normal, like pick up a call, or call another person in the office.

Then it rejected my password, gave me a strange error message and DEEEE-dooo gave me the middle finger.

The solution I heard was “We’ll just put people into voicemail unless they say it’s important.” What I missed was, “For this afternoon.”

This was not a good Forever Solution to my ears.

Clarification isn’t always clear.

And Tuesdays after holiday weekends are just Mondays with cuter outfits on.

(this didn’t post yesterday. Rather fitting, actually.)

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