On Friday’s Shopping

I used to get up at the ass-crack of dawn, and go out into the cold dark winter air, armed with a list and a game plan. I say “used to” like it was ages ago, but in fact, I was out and about just last year. I even went back and read the post, because I wanted to remind myself just how lackluster & disappointing the experience was for me.

So this year, I didn’t go. Or I should say, I didn’t go at the ass-crack of dawn. And of all the sales, the only one I wanted to go to was JoAnn’s, so I made a list, grabbed my coupons, and headed out shortly before 11 am, thinking the crowds might be less and I’d still skate through with the 20%-off-before-noon coupon.

uh, yeah. Nice thought.

I wanted some wool felt, so I thought I was smart when I grabbed my number BEFORE finding my fabric. The line for the cutting table was huge. I looked at my number. E76. Went off and found the bolts of wool, and heard overhead, “D54! D54” Uh, WTF? Did that mean there were 75+46 (121!!!) people AHEAD of me? Fuck that. A woman putting fabric away told me they sold packs of wool felt fat quarters, and I decided I’d go that route. No line, and I’d use my 50% off coupon on ’em. It didn’t take too much longer for me to get the other things on my list. Another sales clerk asked me if I needed help, and inquired about the one thing I needed to buy as a present; she told me to get in line & she’d go get the item for me. Nice! Now, where’s the end of that line?

I thought I’d try to show you, through the magical powers of illustration, just what it took to check out.

My face:

Yes. I was standing a few aisles back from the ribbon. And we went all the way around through Home Dec, by floral, and then into the big chute towards the registers.

That’s me, about 15 minutes in. I can see Home Dec at this point. Then I run into my dental hygienist. She walks with me and chats for a little while, but then goes on to join her mom, who is already in line. Far, far ahead of me.

At about 45 minutes of standing there, my legs got a little tingly. Everyone in line around me was antsy; we’d watch each others’ carts while darting down an aisle to entertain the notion of purchasing something else. The lady in front of me left for five minutes to put back a no-sew throw she’d impulsively put in her cart. Everyone was running out of patience.

Meanwhile, overhead, a man came on the speaker system and reassured everyone their “shop before noon” coupons would be honored, not to worry, they appreciated our patience, etc. I was all, “uh, yeah, otherwise you’re gonna have some crazy-ass women starting a riot!”

Finally, after standing for an hour, it was my turn to check out.

And flee. And go home, and collapse, and take a cat-nap on the sofa.

ETA: Yes. I saved 50% overall on all my purchases, with the bonus discount. So it was worth it – but I’ll have to think long & hard next year if the total savings on what I “need” will justify my time!