Riding the Bike with One Pedal.

Category: craziness (Page 5 of 9)

oh mah goooooood

ok, sorry, this isn’t a real post. I’ve spent the morning doing the WP upgrade (sorry, Meesha, no matter how many times I try to use the automatic upgrade, I’m still forced to do the overall upgrade manually.) Which was all fine and dandy until I tried to upgrade my plugins, which absolutely refuse to connect to my server. I’ve checked, double-checked, changed host numbers, tried different passwords, all to no avail. wtf? and then I see that my basic config file hasn’t been updated/upgraded since October, so I edited that  – and suddenly my entire blog went away. I almost threw up. So I restored the old file and blog came back, but I know I don’t have the most current config.php file now, the sizes are different, but this is definitely where the blurring of capability meets doesn’t-necessarily-know-wtf-she-is-doing collide and so I may require some speshal help at some point. I do have a laptop now so I’m mobile, if anyone wants to find time to meet after the snowpocalypse melts.

BLEAH!

But let’s talk about my precious. Precious Ramotswe, named Precious first and foremost because my laptop makes me feel like Gollum, and I want to pet my precioussssss yesssssss, we covet, and then I thought I’d class it up by naming her for the main character in the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency books, whom I love.  She’s a stately Dell Studio Inspiron, 17″, Windows 7  and has all the bells & whistles I wanted/needed for less than it would have cost to buy a notebook off the shelf & add on the programs. Had to wait a few weeks, but worth it.

My new little friend...JWo said it looks like a creamsicle. It is delicious!

Still Not Street-Happy

I emailed both my city council members and fired off a request for SAND to the city’s 3-1-1 Action Center via the internet yesterday. This is what I got in return:

The City’s Snow and Ice Plan calls for keeping primary and arterial streets open for traffic. On primary and arterial streets, crews plow curb-to-curb and work around the clock to remove snow and apply salt. On residential streets, the plan calls for providing a passable lane. In addition to plowing, crews assigned to residential streets apply salt on intersections, hills and slick areas. We will take your information and it will be placed in the data base.

Thank you for contacting the 3-1-1 Action Center

Uh, ok. I live on a residential street, and let’s talk about how un-passable this “lane” is. When I left this morning, I had the misfortune to end up behind the recycling dump truck, and so I slowed, stopped, waiting, only to see this enormous vehicle completely stuck at the top of a small incline. So I started to back up, the recycling truck began backing up, and we did this fun-packed dance for at least a block. I almost ended up in the ditch, because I was trying to avoid a car parked on the road, and backing up in snowing weather on snowy streets that haven’t been plowed makes it a little tough to stay in the two snow-packed ruts when you have objects to avoid and forty-ton truck in reverse coming at you and it can’t gain traction.

A plow is useless at this point, because this shit is frozen solid in the form of an ice pack on top of the concrete. I seriously doubt the plows will go up and down sixteen times to get down to the pavement. So I asked for sand. I don’t need ice melt, just SAND. Our house is at the top of a small hill, and all day yesterday, I heard the whining and spinning and grinding of motors and tires trying to make it up the incline. I get it, it was a big snowstorm, it happened over a holiday, but this is simply inexcusable at this point. It’s been a week. The primary roads near us (Wornall, State Line, Homes) are clear. I don’t know wtf defines a street as arterial, maybe it’s the bigger streets with lights on them? All I know is that it’s a giant mess, and the people delivering packages and mail and just trying to get in and out of their homes are all at risk until this city bites the bullet and gets on the ball here. I’ve never, ever had to wait this long to have our street plowed, and if I could withhold my city taxes in protest, I sure as hell would. Until everything melts or the streets get cleared, whichever comes first.


Oh, It’s A Mix, Alright.

I just went to the front door to put a Netflix movie and a thank-you note in the mail, and I saw, across the street, a figure standing back from the road, moving behind some shrubbery. Before I opened the door, I waited and watched. A spry senior citizen, in her magenta jacket, emerged. She adjusted the kerchief on her head, and as she walked back out to the road, finished tucking her shirt in her jeans. Striding off down the road, she continued on her walk.

Morning Constitution, indeed.

Because I Didn’t Want Anything To Get Blowdy. *

We’ve both got a nutso week here at Chez NuWo, and so I was close on my  husband’s heels this morning, leaving for work. Up until I got behind the wheel of Mimi and tried to turn her on. I was greeted with a strobe-light effect from the automatic headlights, and the worst rapid-clicking sound you could imagine.

I paused.

Then tried it again. (Perhaps I just had an out-of-body experience and it didn’t really happen.) (Denial)

More clicking. I tried to turn off as many things as I could. A/C. Radio. Lights. (Bargaining)

Tried it again. Nothin’. (Acceptance and Panic)

At this point I think at the least, it’s a dead battery. At the worst, the car no longer has an engine, as the “Service Engine Soon” light does remain on. So I sent up the ChocoCat signal (Dulcedosa to the rescue again! Though I yanked her into fourth gear out of first, unfortunately.) I look at the clock and realize James probably hasn’t turned his phone off yet, so I call him. He informs me there’s a battery charger in the back of his truck, and what settings to put it on. So off I go, I plug it in, and wait. After twenty minutes, I think it’s good and charged and then stop. What to do next? When you jump start your car you keep them both running. Do I leave the charger plugged in while I attempt to start it? My gut said “no”, but at this point, I can’t check with my husband, so I call the next person who comes to mind: Shan, my creative director at work. He confirms I should unplug everything, then unclamp the contraption, THEN start it up, and sure enough, it fires up and I gingerly start driving.  Carmen still rode backup, just to make sure I didn’t sputter out, and off it was to O’Reilly’s for a new battery.

I go in, and am helped by a young woman who informs they do NOT install batteries. I look at her and start bargaining. She informs me that she herself has changed a few batteries in her life, and she’ll take a look at it, but they are not licensed or insured to do it. I offer to be a willing student, just tell me what to do.  She proceeds to test the battery (dead), and then goes at the battery hold-down and gets the battery out. Without breaking a single long, fuschia-french-manicured nail. I am agog. And paying very, very close attention, because I do like to learn things and feel capable. Carmen heads off to work once she knows I’m not going to be stranded and she gets another pair of Friendship Angel wings.  I pay for the battery, we get it installed (I use “we” quite loosely), and I handed her a $20 while thanking her profusely, because by golly, she not only earned my appreciation, but my respect and amazement. She didn’t want to take it, but I was having none of it.

When I got to work, Shan gave me a bit of a hard time, saying how funny and ironic it was, this independent, strong woman who can do anything, but when it comes to something with a carrrr, (yes, he got sing-songy) I had to call a MAN.

I’d like to point out that the difference between me and a man? (besides the obvious)

I call for information BEFORE I potentially blow up my vehicle or electrocute myself.

I rest my case. (But thanks, Shan! I knew you’d know the answer!)

* I am coining my own slang. “Blowdy” is short for “shit gettin’ blowed up in here”. In other words, you want to AVOID The Blowdy. Unless you’re looking for blowdy as part of an action movie. Car chases and Blowdy, YEAH!

A Face That Launched A Thousand Ships…

…in the other direction.

I felt a sharp pain in my eye on Sunday while in the shower, so naturally I assumed it was somehow my own stupidity, getting some soap or shampoo or facial cleanser in there, though part of my brain knew it was a different kind of pain.

Monday, I woke up to discover that what had been a couple of pimples on the mend had suddenly erupted.  As in, went the other direction in a hurry. Perplexed, yes. Eye? Still hurt. Kinda red.  Kept to myself.Made it through the day, came home, did usual life stuff, went to bed. Woke up on Tuesday, to discover worsened sores, and spots that had felt sort of like pimples on the verge? Turning into gaping weeping wounds. With my eyes now sporting shades of pink and red. Covered everything with makeup, went to work, again, kept to myself as much as possible, worked through lunch again, kept on trucking. We have a big new business meeting on Friday, so there was looots to be done.  A rep friend of mine stopped by, and upon seeing me, burst out with, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

And friends? That’s the bluntness and shock I needed to hear. (Let me note for the record my husband told me I should go to the doctor on Monday.)  Because I was minimizing it like crazy. My eyes were weepy and swollen, not to mention the sores I was sporting on my nose and chin, and while I could have just seen her behavior as overreaction, I was starting to feel so bad, I conceded I could at least get myself to a Minute Clinic, once I got some more work done.

The first Minute Clinic I went to was up by Roe & I-35, Roeland Park. Technically the closest to my workplace. Annnnd it turns out, they arbitrarily closed at 4 that day. So I punted off to 75th & Metcalf, only to be told by the RPAC there, who looked at me with a little bit of horror, that she could do absolutely nothing for me, and I should go to Sunflower Medical Group’s urgent care…. back over in Roeland Park. I was almost in tears leaving the CVS, because I’d just come from there, and blah blah blah, let’s just say, things were getting a little more fragile.

Can’t say enough good things about the folks at the Sunflower Medical Group. The nurse was extremely nice, and then the doctor – oh my goodness, it was like the Wizard of Oz himself came in to see me. A slight build, bald head, glasses, quite the jovial sort, and he declared I not only had pinkeye in one, but redeye in the other. His diagnosis was a staph infection (which can then cause conjunctivitis in your eye(s)), and we’re still waiting for the test results to make sure it’s not the crazy drug-resistant strain of staph.  In the meantime, I have eyedrops and an antibiotic that targets skin, and a few more bumps and blisters have popped up.

(Confidential to the checkout girl at CVS on 79th & State Line: Staring is impolite. Staring once, given my condition, I get it. But every time I looked away? Your momma should have raised you better. And I find it hard to believe that even in my condition, I am the only stare-worthy person to come up to your register.) It was all I could do not to tell her to get her fuckin’ camera phone out and take a picture so she could keep staring after I left.

To say I’m a  little brittle right now might be appropriate. I started wearing bandages to work, since I felt a little relieved this wasn’t just “Jennifer has bad acne” but my eyes…. oh lordy, if they’re the window to the soul on normal days, mine have been the portals to hell this week. And this morning, they were so light-sensitive, I practically crawled into work, having had to stop and cry from the sunshine,  and then resume driving like a little old lady – which you KNOW I abhor doing.

Needless to say, I’m not attending the new business pitch tomorrow, and I’ll be working from home.  My part in the meeting was less than 10 minutes, actually. Still tough for me, though. I understand getting benched when you’re out of commission, but my force of will is so much that I think anything’s conquerable.  Howver, I can see how the bandaged, weepy-eyed person in the room might leave an unintended impression, too.

I’ve learned a lot about staph infections, though – you can get them anywhere, anytime, the bacteria can live on towels (and you can spread it around that way), you have it living on your skin right now, in fact. But a bug bite, or scratch, or pimple, any sort of ‘opening’ can give it a new home, and if you’re weak (stressed, low immunity, etc.) it can flourish.  In fact, I think it can even be spread through blogs, so you should really Lysol yourself after reading this. And if you comment? Bleach. Twice.

Spinning!

For years, JWo has told me I should take up spinning. (This in the face of having more yarn that can be knit in my lifetime – hey, here’s an idea, make more!) I have always maintained that I don’t want to bother with it, since I can go straight to the end result and focus on my main enjoyment, knitting.

Then I had lunch with Beth & Amy. Amy had just finished a morning camp session at Wornall House, where they do all sorts of fun old-timey-time things, and that day’s adventure had included making a spindle from a CD and dowel, and they were spinning some roving into yarn. I watched her demonstrate, then I asked her if I could try it.

DAMMIT. It was mesmerizingly fun. I quickly had a nice long thread of yarn, and knew I had to get myself a spindle of my own, and to see if it was something I really wanted to do.

First Yarn:

First Spinning Project Ever!

This was my first real attempt, with nobody even watching. I looked at a video online, all five minutes of it, and then just threw myself into it. Fortunately, the Sunflower Knitters Guild was around the corner, and I took all my stuff with me there, to get some input and advice from Teri. She’s done loads of yarn just using a spindle, and she, among others, praised my first efforts, and she demoed how she spins for me. Roving by Lorna’s Laces. Plyed to itself on top; single below. Whee! That led to this:

Second Spinning Project

I’m using a Louet spindle I got from The Loopy Ewe, which is rather clunky and doesn’t spin nearly fast or long enough, we determined this past Friday night. The fiber is Corriedale from The Studio, hand-dyed by Jacey of Insubordiknit, and she was also cheering my efforts on.  I finished spinning it all yesterday and am waiting to figure out my plying options. I even got invited to attend last weekend’s Spinster’s gathering, since it was at my friend’s house; I wasn’t able to go, and truth be told, I don’t feel ‘qualified’ at this point. :)  Annnd I’m really trying not to over-embrace it all. There’s soooo much to learn, a wheel is expensive, and didn’t I mention something about already having a lot of yarn? My goal is to make some sock yarn. We’ll see!

Always Ready To Bring The Crazy

Re-entry back to the work world, especially after such a fantastic vacation, is tough. Celebrated my birthday on Monday by going into work….and then each subsequent day brought with it more challenges and projects. Which is great, though I am saying it right now, I will be so happy once we’re completely transitioned to our new billing software and everything is symmetrical!

Our CFO’s birthday was today, and the way treats work, the person who just had their birthday brings in treats for the next person. So I got a Dairy Queen cake. Which was greeted with EXTREME enthusiasm from so many of my co-workers, it kind of surprised me, there were that many superfans among us. Because dude. A DQ cake rocks my world, and I would sing it Michael-Jackson style to prove it.

So we had big pieces for everyone, and then later we had a conference call. I think it was partly a sugar high, but partly me just cutting loose and being wonky for laughs. We were in our creative director’s office, waiting for a conference call to start. I started looking around, and espied two pairs of ski goggles hanging from his coat tree. (We used to have an account that made these things.) I noticed one of them had rose-colored lenses. What wouldn’t be more perfect than rose-colored glasses, for a 4:20 conference call? NOTHING! My co-workers were laughing and my pal Tommy snapped a shot for posterity.

BringingTheCrazy

Not quite all-the-way grown-up yet. May not ever actually get there, either.

So it’s eleventy-billion degrees out…

…and I am very grateful to the person who invented air conditioning! Gah! We’re under an extreme heat warning now through Wednesday, as our mid-to-upper 90’s are combining with our excessive humidity and making it feel like, I don’t know, EXPLOSIVE, in both Celsius and Farenheit.

The heat also makes tempers a little shorter, I think. I just fired off an email to some feller over in Roeland Park KS who has used some service that keeps autodialing me with a recorded message pushing his city council campaign. First of all? I am at work and it’s not legal to telemarket or call people at their place of business. Two? I’m in freakin’ MISSOURI, so I can’t even vote for you. STOP IT.

Got through Father’s Day… we watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button on Saturday night, and that made me teary, as did numerous other things all weekend long. Heightened sensitivities, to be expected, I guess. I’m irritated with social media turning into one giant playground, with people friending and unfriending and blocking and behaving like it’s high school. Oddly enough, they end up being the ones looking foolish, so there’s hope the universe isn’t devolving as quickly as it feels, sometimes. I’m irritated that my insurance company kicked back a bill for a mammogram because it had the layer of diagnostics attached to it. I see. Yes, Yes, I should have to pay out-of-pocket for more expensive x-rays and a sonogram, since we were checking a lump – if everything’s a-ok, then it’s covered. If you THINK you might have cancer, we don’t want to cover that, we’ll just pay for tests when you’re healthy. Logic. The insurance industry Does Not Have It. Actually, after a call to them this morning, and being put on hold a few times, resulted in a ‘re-evaluation’ and the conclusion that it was processed incorrectly. Ya think?

What’s to be cheerful about? Well, vacation is approaching, and the new pool is up, full, and not leaking. Thank heavens. And I’ll be turning the page on the ol’ Calendar of Life in a couple weeks – I do still enjoy the b’day celebrations. All the plants are bursting along in the garden – hubs started a gardening blog, you’ll have to check it out: http://kctomatotimes.wordpress.com/ The man knows a lot about gardening, that’s for sure!

We have an abundance of basil, so I made pesto yesterday, and then contemplated the abundance of Thai basil that we have. It all got whacked, so it will continue to thrive and grow and not put effort into creating seed, so everything got a healthy trim. There is one basil variety that has a strong licorice taste to it, so I got creative and boiled the leaves and stems with about three cups of sugar and three cups of water. Let it cool, strained it into a mason jar, and popped it in the fridge. Made a cocktail combining about 3 parts Basil Syrup to 2 parts Gin, and a squeeze of lime. Shake on ice, strain into a martini glass. It was sweet, but with enough tang and flavor to not be syrupy. I’m thinking about trying it in some pineapple juice next!

I need to decide what knitting project is going along to Mexico with me, and what the pattern should be. I want to do something lacey, maybe with some of the Handmaiden Sea Silk I have in my stash, and I want a pattern that’s visually entertaining but not mentally taxing, but not feather-and-fan, either. Hrmph. Suggestions?

Alrighty, that’s the report for today. Hope you’re staying cool, wherever you are, and your positives are greater than your irks!

I Thought This Was Strange

Hubs ran into Wal-Mart last night for bait (yes, that would be one of the distinctions between WM and Target – ) and I waited in the car. I did a giant loop-de-loop around the lot and then parked near the door, ready to move should it become an active Fire Lane.

While waiting, a guy ran up (not sure from which direction), plugs in some tool, and starts working on this other unidentifiable object he was carrying. Dude spends a few minutes doing this, and then unplugs his whatchamajig,  picks up the flat thingy and saunters off.

WTF???

I’m going with yet another differentiator from Target?

What A Week…

Well, that was a doozy of a week. As each day passed, it got more and more brutal, it seemed! We’re doing a software conversion, and there are elements within the software that defy logic. So as I was connecting said software to my department’s software, there were bumps. And granted, I expected a learning curve, and some frustrations – nothing like this is ever smooth – but one particular piece of it just blew my mind, it defied logic so badly. Actually, I finally  had to call the help line, because I was tired of creating work-arounds to make up for the elements not matching (I realize this makes little sense unless you use both of these pieces of software) and the help lady, who is somewhere in the South, drawled, “Oh yes, we tell folks NEVER to delete lines in that before sending it over.” Huh? That’s the whole point of being able to revise things and preserve the data integrity between systems? Classic. Anyway, I had some long days and maddening moments, but the bulk of it’s done, and now the cleanup part will begin next week.

We did get a fun night in Thursday, tailgating and watching the company kickball team win their game – followed by the final Love Tusk show at the Riot Room. I felt old, though – when their set ended, there was no way we could stay out for any of the other bands. (yawn!) And now it’s Saturday night, I’ve done pretty much nothing with my day, and oh yes, the cops have been by for their regular pilgrimage to Crazy Cat Lady’s home. Who knows what drama is goin’ on over there.  Tomorrow, brace thyselves – it’s Mt. Laundry time. Livin’ the Vida Loca here, as we move past another anniversary, clamber over the army training wall (I mean, software conversion) and when it gets really bad, I just look at the calendar and tell myself….”Cancun. Cancun…..”

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