Riding the Bike with One Pedal.

Category: kansas city (Page 7 of 10)

Veectory ees MINE!

Well, I can’t take any credit for the negotiation process, it all goes to my sales rep, who may be petite, but can also be quite fierce.   She was rather astonished that the person who first responded to me only cut our bill back by $25 (taking the rate hike to 40%, vs.  60%). So she found the right person, and from the results, I can see she went in swinging.

I got off the phone this morning and this is where they stand, my new long-term friends at Time Warner Cable: I get my old, nice, shiny, cheap rate back. For a whole ‘nother year. And then I have a $5 increase. (Plus a 30-day window in which to change my mind & go with someone else.) This happens for the next FIVE YEARS. Always one to boil it down, I said, “So, in five years, my rate has increased only $25?” “Yes.”) This I can live with.

Oh, and you bet your ass I asked to get credited for December’s overages.  I was all ready to pull the plug on them (and to see what their best offer to keep me would be), which is necessary if you’re going to threaten them.  That they fixed it didn’t completely surprise me? But that they fixed it for five years did, so, with that, I grudgingly give them some props. (And await my credit, kthxbai.)

Update…

OK, I received a message both at home & at work from a Time Warner Cable CSR, complete WITH a direct, local phone number, to return the call & discuss my aggregious billing situation. Only downside is that said CSR agent stopped working at 2 today, and I didn’t get the message in time to resolve things today. So I am leaving it until Monday, and have set down my ashcan of white hot coals. (I will not throw out the lighter fluid yet, though.)

Oh, man. I started my day with Kiefer Sutherland on NPR, and looky here, here he is on Letterman. Pitter-pat. Oh, but a very strange suit, Kief. Huh. You make me want to adjust the vert alignment on my screen. (Gah, remember doing that?)  Anyway, Jack Bauer’s about to embark on yet another Very Bad Day, and gotta love Fox, they’re really kicking this season off – two hours on Sunday, two hours on Monday, before settling into the regular Monday 8p (CST) timeslot.  It’s fascinating how the show has actually influenced … our world. They touched on that in the interview this morning, that West Point was consulting with the show, out of concern for how their soldiers were behaving due to what they’d seen on “24”….which makes you think perhaps the ol’ idiot box has gotten too influential? Though a couple years ago, I read something about how the show paved the way in Americans’ minds to accept the notion of a black president. Whatever the parallels to other happenings in our world, I do know that the show does require a LOT of reality jumps, but Kiefer is a great central figure, and he’s a great, gritty hero who doesn’t back down from a fight. I firmly believe he could kick Chuck Norris’ ass at this point.

And, if things don’t go well on Monday with TWC? I may be drawing upon my own inner Jack Bauer.

bip    BIIIP  bip.

My, What A Fetching Chapeau….

Yes. There has been knitting. I haven’t done much in the way of blogging it, partly because I haven’t done as much blogging in general, but whatevs. You forgive. We move on.

Here we have Hat #1, the lovely Koolhaas, by Jared Flood (Ravelry Link, FYI). This hat rekindled my love of twisted stitches, reminding me just how much I adore them. In fact, they sorta make me shriek with joy. Apparently I was so swept up in my twisted stitches, I opted not to follow the pattern accurately, and so I stunted the first few rows by not knitting them in pattern, and continuing to make the stitches travel. If you do not knit, never mind. I made the hat too short. That’s why you see my buddy Amy modeling it, because it went into her birthday stash.

Amy's Koolhaas

According to her mom, it was THE hat in the house, eschewing all others, for a while there. Flattery, Miss Amy, it will get you everywhere, and quite possibly into my stash! I’m going to teach her how to knit over the holiday break, and I’m looking forward to it.

Fresh on the heels of no-hat-for-old-Jen, I knit another Koolhaas, this time for James. He wears it well.

Big grins

Now, I am going to make myself a Koolhaas, and I cast on for one this weekend, in a beautiful merlot-cranberry merino. But I also needed a hat, and fast. Enter the Chunky Cabled Tam, from the latest issue of Knit 1. (Rav Link)  It’s a fast knit – two strands of Manos, doubled, and it sorta killed my hands. But I was determined, and it was whipped out over the weekend. Part way through, I tried it on and got an interesting reaction from my husband. Part amazement, part shock and maybe a sprinkle of horror. “Is that for you?” he enquired…. uh, yeah! “Wow!” I think we agreed it takes balls to wear it, and balls, well, not so much an issue for me. Chutzpah. I haz it.

Cabled Beret

Yes I Can Wear This Hat

Dramarama

Someone at work pointed out it has the potential to resemble uh, Blueberry Muffin, from Strawberry Shortcake, circa 1980.  I’ll grant them that there’s a resemblance, with the caveat it does only when worn IMPROPERLY.  That’s if you put the hat straight up on your head, and anyone who’s ever worn a beret or tam can tell you, nobody makes that look work well. So piss off, Strawberry Shortcake. I’m wearing the hat and everyone else can go suck it.

And, apparently, this is my general approach to the holidays. I’ve not even looked for cards or wrapping materials, and I remain unfazed. The more I participate in the crazy, the crazier it makes me, so I’m resisting. I can smell the panic around the corner, though.

Taptaptaptaptap….Yes! There’s a Pulse!

Hi.

I wrote this great post on religion and I still need to proofread it & edit it, because it was in the midst of having some hideous short-lived bug attack me and give me stomach cramps that felt like being belted across the midriff with a baseball bat. Good TIMES! It’s just about gone.

So, the snow! It’s practically all gone. But so fun to watch falling, and really not all that bad to drive in, of course, we have a joke at the house that I fight the urge to become SUV Bitch, ever since I got the Murano. And I try really, really hard not to be that beyotch, blowing by you, but I’m sorry. When the roads are only as wet as if it had rained? And all the snow on the road is melted? You DO NOT need to drive 15 mph on a major street.

But there is still knitting. And yes. I’m behind on photos. So behind. Story of my life.

Work? Busy. Lots going on. It’s good, there are parties and plans and all sorts of things, new things, new projects, all of it. I need to remember what day it is, on almost an hourly basis, and then when I realize what day it IS, in relationship to the holidays, I have a little special panic attack.

Like a minute ago, I remembered the cookies. And that I need to make 72 cookies. So I’m going to sorta cheat, and make bars. Iowans, we love bars. And the recipe is even FOR bars, and I have the Largest Calphalon Pan Under The Sun, so I have confidence I can knock them out on Saturday. (That’s six dozen for those pondering at home. SEVENTY-TWO.)  I’ll share the recipe & pics once they’re made! The ingredients include caramel, cashews & chocolate, so seriously, how can they not succeed? (OK, note to self, don’t burn them. That’s definitely one path to FAIL.)

We Kansas City residents have the odious joy of daily ridiculousness, courtesy of our Mayor & his wife; lawsuits, now ethics investigations, he continues to office from home because he refuses to work without her by his side, constantly – I definitely feel like an old lady, caught up in local civics, all frothing and irritated with the utter stupidity and ridiculousness of it all. At least Illinois’ taking some of the heat off us now. But still. It just doesn’t end.

OK. I’m guessing your plates are pretty full, too. At least put a cookie or two on it to sweeten the pile!

I AM NOT BEIGE.

God. When will the insanity about our “mayoral first couple” end?!

The fearless stubborn duo appeared on Good Morning America today, and I shared some of Diane Sawyer’s incredulity at the situation. “Why not just stay home and stop causing a kerfuffle?” she basically asked.  EXACTLY! Oh no, just dig in your heels and sue the city. That’s great. Y’all are damned royalty the way you talk, and hey, I’m sorry but you are just a mayor and his wife. Elevating and comparing yourselves to PRESIDENTS and their respective First Ladies? Wow. I’m just astonished.

The audacity to put herself in the same category as HIllary Clinton and Michelle Obama astounds me. I’d like to take the opportunity to point out that yes, Hillary did support her husband, and she did stand by her man, but did she sit outside his office door & stick to him like glue 24/7? I seem to recall seeing plenty of photos of Bill Clinton  quite handily doing his job without his wife by his side, managing everything for him.  Oh, and while we’re talking Hillary, did she ever call any of the White House staff “Bernie Mac”? This Ma’am-E or Mammy explanation is preposterous.

KMBC: “Mayor Mark Funkhouser said his wife once said the word “mammy” to a black woman on his staff, but that she did it as a term of endearment.”

Why, silly me – she meant it as a form of affection!  Yes, and daddy only beats you cuz you cry. WTF? Really? Now our tax dollars are paying for lawyers & most likely, settlement money with the employee who was so lovingly addressed. Meanwhile, crime’s up, the metal plates in the road still plague us, sewer problems abound & the city’s budget is effed up. Hey, concept #1 on that budget?! Drop the lawsuits.

Honestly, these two have pissed me off from the get-go with Glo moving into City Hall and interviewing people and speaking as the mouthpiece for the mayor.  Now they seem to have an irrational determination to sacrifice everything for the sake of being able to “work” together, by golly.  Trumpeting her as this flashy, brassy LongIsland Italian in-your-face woman, how Kansas City just can’t handle her feisty spirit, how we’re just a reserved bunch of beige people (seriously, watch the interview – the original term was “beige”, she’s trying to switch it to “reserved”), and no matter what, HE NEEDS HER. Well, grow a pair, buddy. Wait, that’s right, we heard all about your nether regions in the Christmas letter last year.  There’s a big difference between crude and feisty, friends. I fly across both territories quite comfortably, and for the record, came from IOWA. It don’t get blander than that. Fuck that East Coast attitude, I officially challenge her to a Feisty Dance-Off.

And no, her husband can’t bring a sheet of cardboard and break dance to warm up the crowd. To keep it fair, the Wo will keep his moves to himself as well. Because I can actually fight my own battles, do my job everyday, and operate independently from my husband. Who could put an approach move on the scene before Funk even knew what was goin’ down.

Bizzitches only.

God. Please let this insanity STOP. Part of me actually pities them, it’s like the old childhood story of the Emperor who had no clothes.  Yeah, and for the record, I ain’t beige. But my regular readers already knew that.

Two Hours.

It took me two hours, but I was finally able to cast my ballot. There were easily 100+ people in front of me when I arrived at my local polling location.  I had my coffee, then my knitting, and eventually we all were stretching and shifting our weight from foot to foot as we stood in bright sunlight, all of us with last names in the L-S pool. (For whatever reason, there were WAY fewer A-K people, and they kept shouting at them, to shoot to the front of their line. The S-Z people got to advance a few times as well.)

Thank goodness the weather is cooperating. I would think it could have been discouraging to many, to wait that long in bad weather. As I felt my feet tingle, I just reminded myself that two hours is a small price to pay to change the future of our country. And I kept seeing these shoes in my head:

shoes

It’s no secret where my allegiances lie. I voted for change. Every minute I waited was worth it, and I was really amazed at the tenacity of everyone in line with me. I’ve never seen so many people (easily 120+ people in front of me), and I felt heartened that democracy can work. Participate – no matter where you fall politically. The only way to have representation is to show up, yourself! And no matter how much time it takes, remember that it pales by comparison to the battles our predecessors fought to gain freedom and the right to vote.

It’s A Small World After All….

OK, I’m going to start by saying THANK GOD this is finally DST weekend. Because I got up at 7 am, to go to Liberty, to a craft show. Not your run-of-the-mill craft show, no, but a craft show with kick-ass good crafts. It was a lot of fun, and I did a good job of shopping, both for myself and for others. There were lots of unique finds, and we spent about an hour, toodling around the building, saying howdy to our buddy Ana, and making our purchases.

After that, we made our way to the Old Mill Stitchery, which carries some nice yarns (lots of Berroco), and has some stitchery-type things, plus a HUGE room for wool rug making. I fell in love with a small rug, and then instantly fell out of love with it once I saw the price tag. ($700. It was drop-dead gorgeous, but certainly not going underfoot at that price!) I got a cute little kit with wooden bowls designed to use up your leftover sock yarns, and it was pretty inexpensive.

Then it was time to find something to eat.  Beth wanted breakfast-y food (it was 10:30) and Laura & I really didn’t care, we just started eyeballing things as we were driving through the big shopping area up there. B saw a Steak & Shake, and since we knew they’d not only be open, but they’d serve just about anything, I turned right…. and moments before making that turn, saw “The Corner” in the opposite direction. So we did a U-turn, because lawd, if you haven’t ever been, they make cinnamon & sticky buns the size of your head. And all the food is good. Which is why there’s always a wait.

The beautiful thing about knitting is that it gives you patience when you need it. We had our name on the list, estimated wait was half an hour, and we sat outside on a bench, all three of us with our knitting. Chatting back and forth, jumping each time the overhead PA system sprang to life, knitting the minutes until we were called. Suddenly, a man crossing the parking lot looks over at us, and starts waving and shouting “HEY THERE!” We are all instantly confused, thinking surely he must mean someone else. Within thirty seconds, though, I realize, this is a former client of mine, and his name jumps into my head, and I find myself waving back saying, “Well, Hell! Hello there, Danny!” He comes over and shakes my hand and introduces himself (uh, I remember you, I said your name!) and we exchange pleasantries. He goes back to his wife, they head to their car, and we’re left chuckling about our confusion and the randomness of me running into someone in Liberty (which for those following from another location, this is a northern suburb, approximately 30 miles away from me, and not someplace I frequent.

Then,  a guy walks buy, and I look at him, and say, out loud, “That’s Chip! Hi, Chip!” Because it is CHIP from Kansas City SWAT, and I’ve not only met him, I have his autographed picture. Beth starts laughing. Chip turns to look at me, and I realize I’ve done all this out loud. “Hi Chip! We met at Jimmy Johns a while back, how ya doin’.” He is kind enough to go along with this and even mentions the correct location, saying he remembers, and hi, how ya doing today, and are we waiting to be seated, or have we already eaten? Which would be rather funny, to have eaten and parked ourselves on a bench to haaaaang and knit, but ok, it’s not like my stream of consciousness is going to correct yours, Chip, you could crack my head open WITH YOUR MIND and a TEASPOON. He goes in to check on the wait, returns, gets his wife, and we all nod at each other again like we’re old pals. I’m hoping to be able to use my ever-growing connection to Chip, SWAT team leader, for more blog fodder down the road, I’m just putting that out there right now.

We had a fantastic waiter (Charles) (he’s in charge) (I love him), great food, and an all-around successful, entertaining morning. I’m sleepy, so I should get a nap in before I head off to the festivities tonight – also up north, but more towards the west this time.

I realized as I was typing that it’s November now, but October marked the ten-year anniversary of my move to Kansas City. I think I came here mid-month, for my job. And every year I’m here, the universe seems to get just a tiny bit smaller. But ever so much more colorful, and ever so entertaining. I love it!

1,2,3,4,5….

annnnd 6.

I will admit, I had planned to get Mimi Murano’s official MO Safety Inspection earlier than today. It’s just been a bit… chaotic.  So after my morning of meetings, I took off about 2, and headed out to get the inspection, with plans to continue on to get new plates at the DMV, as well as exchange the faulty DVR remote at the cable store.

Stop #1. I am greeted by a hefty man who looks like he’s walked out of a small-town movie set, shot by Clint Eastwood. When I ask if they can fit an inspection in today, he sorrowfully shakes his head, adjusts his glasses, and prepares to write me in for tomorrow. Sorry, buddy. I’ve got a limited window here, so I’m going to try someplace else.

Stop #2. I am greeted by a burly man who looks like he could be cast as one of numerous State Troopers in a straight-to-DVD Dukes of Hazzard movie. I repeat my inquiry. He shakes his head. Tells me they’re scheduling inspections after Tuesday of next week. Obviously, that’s a bit too late for me. I am starting to worry a little bit about my afternoon’s plans.

Stop #3. I spy an inspection sign on a muffler and brake place, and veer into their parking lot, thinking they might be a little less busy. The waiting area is spartan, and I apparently startled a customer out a deep stupor. I am greeted by a skinny man who looks like he was an extra in Deliverance. It wasn’t so much his disheveled appearance – greasy, unkempt hair seemingly trying to escape its own destiny and owner by spiraling outward in various directions – nor was it the various-sized nodules studding his neck and face, but it was his eyes, vacant and staring, while he intoned they had no time, and astutely observed that this was the end of the month. I exited quickly.

Stop #4. Actually, it was a drive-by. I started noticing that all these places have their phone numbers on their signs, and as I passed another hole-in-the-wall, I shouted out the phone number to myself. No luck, they, too, were busy.

Stop #5. I pull into the parking lot, and immediately find myself in a sticky cluster fuck of cars, as suddenly three vehicles are trying to exit. I park. And call the number on the side of their building. No again. Their inspector hurt himself and is out for a week.

I am starting to get a little panicky at this point.

Stop #6. I pull into another little garage’s lot, and see a woman swiffering the floor to the waiting room. Having made eye contact, I think it will be a little odd for me to call from 5 feet away. I walk in, she gestures towards the back, and a man comes around to ask me what I need. I repeat my request for an inspection.  He tells me to come back tomorrow. I think my shoulders slumped a good four inches.  I started to succumb to what seemed to be the inevitable, and asked what time they opened. 8 a.m. How long will it take? The guy asks what kind of car I have. I start to flail. I’m feeling defeated, and frustrated, because I have a 2006 Murano that has just over 17,000 miles on it, for pete’s sake, and I can’t believe I even have to HAVE an inspection, and I’m saying all of this while flapping my arms like a flightless bird, spiraling on his freshly-swiffered floor. He pauses, and says, “Come here. Write down your name and address. I do it right now.”

At one point, while I waited, I’m pretty sure I uttered an audible, fervent blessing upon this man.  This wasn’t the most comprehensive inspection, I’d wager, but frankly, my car doesn’t warrant a fine-tooth comb. It’s still under warranty!!  The bill was $12? I gave him $20, with heartfelt thanks. And he blessed me, at that point! It was a win-win, in my book.

So, finally, I have new plates (that are grammatically incorrect, but yours truly & a Sharpie are gonna fix that), a new remote, and I dropped off a lemon-berry slush for my husband, who’s having parent-teacher conferences all day today. I’ve got to get my halloween costume pulled together tonight, and I must say, I’m ready for the weekend!  I’ll get some pics of the costume up tomorrow, and hopefully (fingers crossed!) get back to slightly more regular blogging! I’ve missed it – and while the blogs I write in my head are undeniably awesome, they’re also super-easy to forget.

Heard on the Street

I pulled up to the Panera on the Plaza this morning, and noted this odd-lookin’ dude pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. Not odd in the sense of “By-Night-I-Live-Under-The-Bridge”, but I just don’t see a lot of professional men in sweater vests and Dutch Boy haircuts, and this one had his earbud-cellphone thing going on so he was talking while pacing. I wasn’t sure if there was much of an accent, mostly because I was trying to contain my surprise at hearing, “I just hope that getting off the SlrrrrrXicrrrrr is easier than getting off methadone.”

Well, I certainly hope so, too.

And once again, proving how the world is shrinking, I ran into a couple of co-workers. I marveled at how fantastically well (and fast) our brains can work, you know? I just glanced sideways into the seating area as I set my bag down, waiting for my breakfast sammie, and I saw my two friends. Chatting with them turned into a longer-than-expected delay, but was lovely and worth it. And didn’t require a smidgen of methadone!

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