Day: January 7, 2005

As I was driving home last night (pre-moving adventure) I was thinking about how the conditions were primo for black ice. I’ve only had one encounter with black ice in my life, and while it scared the spittle out of me, I was unharmed.

Minneapolis, MN. January, February, who knows, one of those months where it gets dark at 3 in the afternoon and the air is so sharp it just might shatter all around you. It’s after 9 at night and I’m driving around Lake of the Isles to get back to my apartment at the intersection of Hennepin & Franklin. (I miss Liquor Lyle’s SO MUCH right now just thinking about it.) If you’ve ever been around the lakes, you know that they’ve got wide spots here and there so you can park & then get out & enjoy the bike trails or walking tails. Fortunately for me, no cars were parked in one of these wide spots! I hit the black ice in my little tank of a car (1986 Ford Ecort, and have we got some stories there – It almost seems prophetic that the Escort later died by fire. Fire & Ice! Pat Benatar, where’d ya go?), anyway, I hit the black ice, SPUN 450 DEGREES, and came to a stop. It was like instant teacups at the fair, the spinning was so fast & sudden, but fortunately my ride did not last as long. I had NO clue where I was, what direction I was facing, it was pitch black outside, and then I realized I was facing the lake! I had made a complete circle plus another 90 degrees, and was pointed westward ho! Shaking, I got my car turned in the right direction, and made it home without further incident.

So, when I left for knit night last night, hubby said, “Watch out for black ice!” and I thought, “You can’t SEE black ice! I don’t know how to watch for it!” but I knew what he meant was, “Don’t speed demon drive the Civic because you might never be so lucky again if you hit black ice!” There wasn’t any black ice (that I saw), but I sure was cautious.

If you’re wondering, I now have TWO loveseats, TWO chairs and the old sofa in my living room & dining room. It’s that overstuffed-overfilled-we-need-14-cats-to-complete-this-picture look!

Hopefully it will change, because if it doesn’t get done tonight? GRIN. I’m calling my guy friends tomorrow while hubby’s out of town for a meeting. Heh. I can be my own version of black ice, baby.

I had this fantabulous therapist in Minneapolis, she was a crazy-haired earth mamma who was sharp as a whip, and energy & confidence just emanated from her pores. She had several of those hard plastic tubes filled with corn-syrup-like liquid & glitter in her office (you know what I’m talking about?) and any time I started to whine about wanting things to be different, immediately, she would point at the “magic wands” and tell me to pick one up & wave it around because I was obviously engaged in magical thinking, and perhaps I could make it happen with one of her wands.

Now, that sounds really snarky, and she wasn’t snarky at ALL, in fact, it was funny when it happened, because it was this gentle way of saying, “Wise up, you will not change that and quit thinking you will.” So I got a lot of really good, useful tools from her, but the best one of all came after several long sessions of me describing my strained relationship with my parents, and how they had so much influence over me and how upset they could make me, blah blah blah, and I described them as being able to storm my defenses & burn down the gates and get deep inside where I felt safe & then I was left in a heap. And she said to me, “The handle opens from the inside, Jennifer.” And it was like she’d waved that little wand, because BING, a little light went off as I imagined my small submarine tank with my parents on the imaginary doorstep and that I was the one, indeed, who let them in. Obviously I had the power all along, I just didn’t recognize it because I was the child, and the parents are supposed to trump child – but that doesn’t work so well when you’re 26.

Not surprisingly, the workplace also gives you GREAT opportunity to practice things you learn in therapy, even if those sessions were focused on your family. And that is why I have some days where I sit at my desk and shake my head a little and say to myself, “The handle opens from the inside.” And I sure could use one of those magic wands!