Day: January 24, 2005

Knittourettes: sounds like a group of synchronized knitters, hm? Like the Rockettes, but with needles and yarn instead of headgear & pumps.

Nope. It’s the affliction my knitpal Abbey suffers from – it started a couple weeks ago, when she started using Judy as her personal ka-cha (that’s a row counter for you non-knitters). However, Judy was also knitting, so anyone near Abbey was enlisted to help her remember if she was on a knit row or a decrease row. Eventually, it became Abbey shouting (randomly, mind you, to the rest of us) “KNIT ROW!” or “DECREASE!”. Last week, I made the diagnosis: all she needed to do was spice up her shouting (e.g., “DECREASE motherfuckerWHOOP!”) and she would be bona-fide: KnitTourettes.

OK, ok. I make everything open season & laugh at it all. So here’s the PSA portion of today’s blog. If you, or someone you love, is experiencing anything resembling Tourettes, there is hope. Visit this website: www.tourettes.com and find out more. The more you know, the more you grow. WHOOP!

Ooops. I did it again. I never learn.

I got a friend in trouble with the people at the Bedwetter information hotline, once (this is a mini 8-track flashback) – a girlfriend & I were playing a joke on our co-worker, Steve. (There was plenty of give & take, don’t feel too sorry for him. Yet.) We signed him up to be a Red Wing Shoes salesman (and I circulated a memo to the department, asking for business), he got stuff from the NRA after we signed him up for gun cleaning classes by mail, etc. All at work! And we all laughed about it (yes, he did, I’m not just saying that.) But the worst was when we signed him up for more information on bedwetting – and they did a follow-up phone call. At work. And he told the person that it was a practical joke, and the guy went OFF about how bedwetting is SERIOUS, and NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY OR MADE FUN OF, EVER. Poor Steve, just stammered some apologies and got off the phone – our secretary said he shoulda said, “Hold on, let me transfer you to my wife, Jennifer, she’s the one who sent in the card.” He didn’t, but at least he got taken off their mailing list.

Sometimes I think my personal tagline should be: “Alienating the universe, one person at a time.”

On one of our systems, we get a “Message of the Day” when you first logon. I don’t know if it’s something created here, most likely it is part of the program & it has a ton of these – and gets updated all the time, because I’ve never seen the same one twice. I think most people ignore it & move on into the program – but not me. Sometimes they’re Mae West quotes, and I love her! Todays message? Kinda scary, in a sci-fi sorta way. And you can apply it to your government, your workplace – it’s downright scary in its universality.

“The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views… which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.” – Doctor Who, “Face of Evil”

I need some coffee, and that is not a fact to be messed with.