Day: March 7, 2005

Sometimes, it’s the small stuff that’s just very difficult. For instance, right now? I seem to be going through a phase in which I cannot feed myself with regular utensils. Yesterday, we went to Thai 2000 for their Sunday brunch – and let me just pause to say there is nothing like this brunch. And you must say “Thai 200!” in slightly inflected tones with urgency every time you say, “THAI 2000!”. Because that is how we do it. Their brunch is exceptionally authentic, and yet also caters to the 5 Anglo people who go there, unaccompanied by someone of Asian ethnicity. I do draw the line at tripe soup and the beef soup which has been flavored with anise, because licorice beef broth and giant hard-boiled eggs and leathery mushrooms in soup is not my cup o’ – well – soup. But the mussels? On all that is sacred, I swear, these mussels are the best mussels in the city.

But I digress, as usual. I tell you, I am one of those people who start out on a journey and then end up in the ditch, trying to find that shiny object that caught the sunlight. I emerge 12 hours later with many chigger bites, some bits of tin foil in my hair and some garbage I picked up, and a new journey idea. So. Back to it.

I could not feed myself a bite of food yesterday without some portion of it flying on to my shirt, dropping onto the table, etc. I apparently had pad thai sauce all over my mouth. I was beginning to feel like a special needs person, who should not be allowed to use a fork, for fear of quadruple-piercing my nose with a vigorous jab towards my open mouth, and finding myself off by three inches, again. Usually these episodes go away, but today at lunch, I sat at my desk eating a gyro from the deli, and I am not kidding about this, I am wearing tzatziki sauce and gyro juice and every single f’n bite meant something was falling down the side of my face, into my cleavage, onto my desk, onto my shirt, and I’m seriously surprised I didn’t just eat the blasted napkin by accident, as I kept wrapping my pita with a napkin, trying to stem the fountain of flotsam cascading onto me. I went through 6 or 7 napkins, too.

I AM A MESS! I need to be hosed off. I need my co-ordination back! Lord knows I wasn’t given a generous amount to begin with, and if this keeps up my hypochondria will kick in, and I’ll be convinced I have a brain tumor (TU-mah) or some degenerative disease I never even thought to bring up at the doctor’s office this morning. GOOD GRIEF. I must now go wash the tzatziki sauce off my body. Give me a very wide berth, I may trip and crush you.

On Saturday, the doggie girls went to the vet. They were VERY pissed at me, having been promised a spa morning, and instead were victims of an evil bait & switch. Polly weighed in at 42 pounds, Suzy at 84. Both were pronounced in excellent health, despite their roundworms (damn feral cat poo) and now they’re on a regimen that includes regular de-worming on top of their heartworm dosing. They were relieved to leave, and our bank account was just, well, relieved of money. I confess, I gave them an extra milkbone each from the free bowl. Sheesharoo it costs some serious coin to take the dogs to the vet! My friend Shelley was my helper, and we ran a few errands afterwards, the highlight being a stop at Sheridan’s Custard, where they give you a free pupcone if you bring your dog. Polly and Suzy LOVED the pupcones, except for the fact they’re SO SMALL and where is the NEXT ONE?

Then I had my doctor appointment this morning, nothing like starting Monday with an ill-fitting paper shirt & a disposable speculum. Oh yeah, and getting blood drawn. I always request the baby needles, it may take a little longer but it doesn’t hurt as much. I was very impressed with my phlebotomist, she was rapido and got the needle in without any problem. I showered her with compliments, because one of the last times I got my blood drawn (at a different location) the person kept exclaiming, “Your veins are SO RUBBERY!” as she proceeded to poke the needle up, down & around under my skin. That is one visual I never need to see again, because even though I’m pretty sturdy and try not to be wimpy about stuff, I had to say “Hey now. Maybe we should try one of those baby needles?” while looking away and trying not to pass out. I think I even gave her the Hairy Eyeball, which is supposed to strike fear into the hearts of every living thing but mostly makes me look funny.

So all of this means that the ladies of the house have been pronounced healthy & only one of us really needs to start exercising more, so dammit Suzy, get on that treadmill!

I got a Diet Coke at McD’s afterwards, and they screwed up – I knew instantly that it was regular Coke, which always tastes good for the first few swigs? (especially if you’re hungover, but I wasn’t.) Then, as a Diet Coke purist, it just gets to be too much. Have you ever been in those little boutiques? Where they have 800 scents and everything’s sweet and heady and a bit overwhelming? Well, if you could take that environment and make it into a beverage, then that’s what drinking regular Coke tastes like to me. I gave up. As I came into work, I scammed a Diet Coke from a friend who was setting up for a client meeting. Yay! Normalcy is returning.

Knitting update: I’ve got two buttonhole bags ready to felt, and will follow up with before & after pictures tomorrow! I started Anouk from Knitty.com, and then there’s still the Folly. I feel a surge of energy comin’ for the Folly. It must be done while there’s still a remote chance I can wear it before next winter…..