Day: October 18, 2005

Yes. I have had one of those days. Really, it’s almost two weeks’ worth of those days, and when I hit this point, I keep hearing ” I SAID GODDAMN!” in my head, exactly as Uma Thurman spoke it in Pulp Fiction after she’s just done a line of coke that would make Kate Moss break into a sprint from across the room. Only I’m not high, nor am I about to drink a five dollar milkshake, or dance with John Travolta.

It’ll be ok. I won’t even have to get medieval on anyone’s ass. But don’t think I can’t if I need to. BMF, baby. I’m a B. M. F.

sometimes I want
a pottery barn life
with chocolates from belgium
and pink chandeliers

someone to clean
the crannies and nooks
organize my cds
fold my laundry each day

sometimes I want
to wake up in tangiers
live a life of adventure
silk scarf in my hair

sun freckles my face
curry spices drift by
excitement awaits
my passport is stamped

sigh with me, for you
have watched too much tv
seen too many catalogs
been told for too long
what to think
what to buy

someday we will go
to tangiers and forget
about pottery barn
and long velvet drapes

but we will always remember
the chocolate from belgium
and the boy in the fountain
who laughed when you kissed me
on the tip of my nose
under late summer’s sky.

*Feeling very Belgium was coined by Bucky Katt of Get Fuzzy fame. I say it in my head sometimes. It works. Today, fits like a glove. And no, it doesn’t make any sense.

So, I see this news story link on Yahoo! Entertainment, and all it says is, “Rocky’s Back!”

Immediately, I think, “Rocky & Bullwinkle? OH MY GOD! I LOVE THEM!” It has a LOT to do with the fact that I, Jennifer, the one & only PlazaJen, have a speaking voice that sounds almost pitch-on perfect to Mr. Rocky the Squirrel, if I just go up one octave with my voice. (or whatever. I’m no Mariah Carey or Celine Dion. Maybe it’s just “raise” my voice.) I enjoy proving this fact by saying “And now here’s something you’ll REALLY like,” in my best Rocky trill.

Oh, the excitement and yeah, but no. It was Rocky the fighter, Sylvester Stallone. Apparently he’s making yet ANOTHER movie about the boxing and the eggshakes and the jogging up steps and the YO ADRIENNING. Somewhere, somehow, a pop-culture need got identified. They obviously weren’t consulting ME! What’s next? Geriatric Rambo? Taking on the Platoon of Elderly at Shady Acres Retirement Homes with Assisted Living?

I am connected to Sly, though, in that I share a birthday with him. Me, Sly & Nancy Reagan. Yes, I keep excellent company on my birthday (July 6). Brigitte “I’m-So-Drunk-I-Love-Flava-Flave” Nielsen’s slurring ex-husband and the Hugs not Drugs Lady who, I believe, spent a shitload of money on new china for the White House. Oh yes, do not question that random factoid from the 80’s. That is what I remember more than her anti-drug program: the fact she spent oodles of controversial money on new plates. The one (and only) time I learn a good lesson from the Republicans: never disrespect the emphasis on exquisite hostessing & fine dining.

Heh. Lessons from Nancy Reagan.

Oh Bullwinkle.
That NEVER works.