Category: random orts (Page 2 of 4)

I feel like I’m making soup with a little of this, a handful of that – mostly because I’m thinking about soup, since the weather turned. In any event, grab a bowl & hopefully, you’ll enjoy what I’m dishin’ out!

1. Two nights ago, I had a dream in which I single-handedly turned the Chiefs around. Not through any marketing innovation, but by being their most amazing, versatile running back (and sometimes, corner back. That’s how versatile I am.) I scored touchdown after touchdown, to the amazement of both teams and the crowds. I will say, however, the players were PISSED to have the very first female NFL player on their team and were extremely resentful of having their locker room reconfigured. And having to share the whirlpool. After telling JWo this, he requested I take us to the playoffs last night. (Sadly, it seems to have been a one-night-only miracle.)

2. It’s been New Recipes and Good Eatin’ at the NuWo residence this week. We started with my freshly-learned recipe on Monday – Yogurt Curry Chicken with Mango Mint Chutney; Tuesday was Slow-Cooker Chicken Stroganoff, last night was Sloppy Joes (I’d never made them for James before, ever – they were a staple in Iowa, and we didn’t use canned sauce.) Tonight is a Puttanesca pasta with tomatoes from the garden, and some variation on chicken spiedini that I plan to improvise. Cooler weather makes me want to cook!

3. I have spent over an hour going through a government website, searching for statistics by market, and have finally determined I will need to enlist the help of a librarian. Good thing I know one, who has already given me good next steps/options to go get the information. (I am also now convinced that all government reports are created by engineers and statisticians and have no use for people like me using their data.)

4. I also created a macro-flowchart of all our upcoming activity to provide a visual and perhaps assist in managing/requesting certain deadlines be “reasonable.” Apparently, cooler weather also makes me very analytical.

5. The afore-mentioned chicken stroganoff was delicious as a leftover lunch today, apart from the shard of BONE that was in it. It took hours for that sensation to leave my mouth. I wonder what the deep-rooted physiological reason for that is. Perhaps to curb any errant desires to eat glass? Gah.

6. The weather. Yes, it’s cooler. It’s been lovely. It’s also been rainy, and for two days, we basically had the Hurricane Formerly Known as Gustav parked over the state of Missouri. Now it’s moved up through to Illinois, and it’s continued to retain it’s hurricane-y shape, which is rather curious. Now we have Hanna and Ike bearing in on the Southeast – it’s crazy. I know we get tornadoes here in the Midwest, but it’s kind of odd to get the leftovers the way we have. Since JWo is essentially a meteorologist without the paperwork, we’ve had lots of weather conversations at home. It also works well with his science teachings – anything with “real-life” application is easier to absorb.

That’s the smattering of the day, campers. Plurk ya later & have a good evening – it’s almost Friday!!!!

1. Update on that crazy outdoor board from yesterday. Yes, I did call my sales rep at CBS Outdoor. I figured if the mistake was on their end, better they be proactive about it with the client, and if it wasn’t on their end, then they’d look good by alerting the client. Fortunately for everyone, it’s not on every single board, but there are a handful that are wrong. My rep was VERY appreciative, and I like building up a goodwill bank for a time down the road when I’ll need a little extra help!

2. Rachael of Yarn-A-Go-Go lost her mom early this morning. I’ve never met Rachael personally, but we’ve exchanged emails here and there, even as recently as this week, as she’s been at home with hospice and her mom and family. Peaceful thoughts in her direction. Oddly enough, there was great cartoon this week in the paper that really summed it all up:

3. The white trash across the street have been driving me NUTS. They sit outside pretty much all day long, listening to their music on their car stereo (with the trunk open). They must be drinking or getting stoned the whole time because I can’t for the life of me understand how anyone could sit outside in this humidity and watch the street and call that a full day. However, I did have a nice realization the other morning: they make an excellent layer to our security system. Apart from the fact they fit the profile of someone who would actually DO the breaking in, I figure the odds of someone rolling up on our house and breaking in again are even less with their crazytown circus across the street. If for no other reason than the fact our outdoor siren would drown out their music and that’d cut through their buzz enough (hopefully) to evoke a reaction.

4. Blog Debate. Currently taking place in my head, I can’t decide if I should just have my blog be front & center on my domain, or house it at plazajen.com/blog. I’m really leaning towards the latter, because it makes it easier for me, setting up the files and templates and stuff, but I also wonder if it makes it more of a challenge for people. (that extra click! who knows?! I have like, 42 people who read my blog and I’d really like to not alienate any of you.)

5. Storms. I am really, really really getting tired of rain and chances of tornadoes on a weekly basis. I grew up north and east of Cedar Rapids and was just sickened to see the entire downtown under water. Then the Boy Scouts in western IA, and the town of Chapman KS getting hit so badly, it feels like an apocalypse. Good thing I’m not one of those Rapture people, I’d be burning my devil mittens and giving my yarn away to heathens. GOOD THING.

6. Now I should explain the Devil Mittens. I love them. This came out on Ravelry some time ago, where a devout knitter caught sight of a sneak preview of the Subway Mittens, and became convinced the pocket was instead a flap, designed to unbutton and allow the traveler’s hand to be scanned for the bus pass micro-chip that had most certainly been implanted under their skin. In fact, they have a pocket for subway tokens. But the ensuing dialogue on the forums was hi-larious. Many spoke of the Rapture and that we would see it in our lifetime. And I refrained from trying to get anyone’s car, as a reference to one of my all-time favorite bumper stickers. (“When the Rapture Comes, Can I Have Your Car?”)

7. Organization, cleaning and sleeping are on my list for the weekend. And blender drinks, most likely. Are you doing anything fun?

Where to begin, where to begin.

1. I’m in a really good mood. Like, really good. I’m finally feeling like some of my old anchors and new irritants have blown free. There are still ties and strings and some remnants knocking into the side of the hull, but mostly, things are good. I had a great one-on-one with my boss, and things are just hunky-dory. I wish I had more work to do, but now that I’ve written that down, it should pick right back up & I’ll be stressed out in no time!

2. Being a Midwesterner. This really rocketed to the front of my head this weekend, as I took several knitting classes, and the instructor is from the East Coast. I hate to make sweeping, general statements about groups, so this feels rather fidgety to write. I’m writing from the perspective of a born & bred & never-left Midwesterner. Raised in NE Iowa, lived in Minnesota, Iowa & Missouri after college, I even felt that I crossed a little into the South when I left Iowa behind to reside in my current state. I know there are parallels between the South and the Midwest – but there are things about being in the Midwest that we claim in our own odd way. Idiosyncrasies, boundaries, just… WAYS. They’re “Our Ways”. Some things are more extreme up north, I’ve discovered. I’ve laughingly called one of our syndromes “Three Times for Pie”, because where I was raised, you waited until the third offer of pie before you could accept it, and actually enjoy it.

Why? Because it was the only way to guarantee it was truly ok, and not an imposition on your host, to eat that pie. That pie might be for her family tomorrow night. You never know. Midwesterners don’t ever want to be a burden, and that goes double if you’re in a guest/host(ess) situation. We have extreme regard for the guest/host dynamic. And it can be easy to violate. We expect to be asked if things are ok to do, you don’t just help yourself to things, and in return for your formality, we will do backflips to make your stay as accommodating as possible. Now, in Missouri, I’ve discovered, you only need to offer pie twice, and sometimes once, and it’s readily accepted. But that’s among people who know each other well, and if there was a whiff of doubt that said pie was originally destined for another occasion, well, the turning down of pie would still happen.

Now, I know that I don’t always fit the stereotype I’ve just begun sketching. I’m loud (that could be embarrassing, don’t draw attention to yourself so much), I speak up and say what I think, if I believe it will result in a good dialog, and I’ve even made some choices where I know -cognitively, intellectually KNOW – that I am putting the other person in an uncomfortable situation. This is in direct opposition to the MW Way. (And 99% of the time, those situations happen at work, and involve reps trying to get away with something.)

We don’t joke about hurting feelings, or say it’s a goal to make someone cry or humiliate them. That makes us shift uneasily in our seats, because if you can say it, you might even try to do it, and the laughter is polite (because still, we cannot stop being polite and proper), but it is nervous and has an awkward undertone. Some people can take it – some people can’t. Even if you can take it, you automatically feel defensive on behalf of the people who can’t. I remembered in a flash at lunch today that the instructor jokingly said to me that she hadn’t made me cry yet (or broken me yet, or something to that effect.) I responded in a very quiet voice that it would take a lot more than this, and might just be impossible. It is in those moments that I feel the mettle of my own being, it is a lovely moment of control and confidence and indeed, stubbornness, because I will not be broken for the amusement of someone else. Oh no. I physically feel my heels digging into the earth at the notion of such a tete-a-tete and I see myself ala Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, gesturing “come on, motherfucker” with my hand.

Now, I know that should someone have burst into tears, I believe this person would have felt terrible, never having truly intended for it to get to that point. Why do I think I know this? Because we’re all alike under our layers and baggage, and even if you are an asshat day trader who screams all day in the frenzied pit of paper money, we all were infants at one point, who looked to another to care for us, and to unconditionally love us, and we never lose that piece, to feel treasured and appreciated, acknowledged and understood.

And so, when I gave JWo a brief recap of today’s drama, his offer to slash everyone’s tires, once again, was the brief flash of light that makes me laugh and reminds me that it’s all small stuff. And it’s all IN the small stuff. How you behave, as a guest or a host, is defined in the small things – yes, it’s wonderful if you as the host pick up the check at the $300 dinner, and you take your guest and their kids to DisneyWorld, and you shuttle them to and fro on their vacation. But it’s in the small things, the words that dance between mouth and ear, the small kindnesses, the respect, the appreciation of effort: that is where the real measure is taken. I’m not going to go into all the details of the class, I’ll end up getting crispy-fried in a flame war, but I think I have a really balanced perspective of it. For me, I got some really good things out of the weekend, but wish it had gone “better” overall, in the nature of the tone and vibe.

Gee, I think after all that, I may have only one more Ort in me.
#3. Suzy made the paper on Saturday, with this fabulous photo:

The KC Star did a feature on Black Dogs (and the correlating “Syndrome”, that black dogs suffer a bad rap & are much harder to get adopted) & they encouraged readers to send in their pictures of adored black dogs. Suzy made the paper, Suzy & Polly made the online slide show, and poor Tripper, he didn’t make the cut at all. He’s young though, and finds his joy in chewing, eating grass, and playing with the other two.

1. There are some strange wires sticking out of the wall next to the entry door at work. Every time I walk by them, I wonder what would happen if one were to put them on one’s tongue. What can I say. It’s always interesting in here.

2. I found out a someone who used to be exceptionally mean to me is sick. One word flashed in front of my eyes, several other thoughts bubbled up behind my lips, and then I just went with, “That sucks.” After all, what goes around comes around. Interestingly, the same word flashed in my husband’s head, and he chose not to say it (until I told him it had happened to me.) I love how we’re alike sometimes.

3. Speaking of reasons I love him, JWo sent me a link to a Craigslist ad, hawking “Antique crochet set – $20”. His email subject said, “Maybe It’s Not Just For Pussies Anymore”, referencing a time when I’d been a bit belligerent about the hooking craft, as it compared to knitting. Despite my previous entry, I don’t always know when to zip my lip, and if I think it could be funny, I usually err on the side of sharing. Oh, and the items for sale? CROQUET mallets and balls.

4. I’ve learned a bit of tolerance these past years. And quite a few other things, too. But I was really delighted most to get an email yesterday telling me I’d shown up in a reader’s dream, interrupting a sexual encounter by my presence. With my enormous spoonbill around my neck. Dancing. And laughing! Hey, it could happen.

5. Tripper does not like cowboys. We watched No Country For Old Men the other night – and he was watching it, too, which totally cracks me up. Like he’s going to whip out a little notebook and start critiquing the film or something. Anyway, when Josh Brolin appeared on-screen, he lost his shit. Deep rumbling growling, a modicum of barking, he was PISSED. Maybe it wasn’t the cowboy role; it could be that he just isn’t a fan of bad mustaches. Anyway, one helluva movie. High anxiety. Excellent. Made more remarkable by the absence of music – you don’t realize how much music leads or gives away in a film, until it’s not there.

6. I need to get a proper battery for my itty-bitty booklight, as I am tired of being Harriet the Spy each night, clutching a small flashlight under my chin to read.

7. I got the perfect yarn for my ISE6 pal, and then after I heard from my spoilee, I decided I needed to exchange it for even BETTER yarn. So now I just need to wind it and get knitting!

8. I do not understand “Milky Way Caramels” – there is no Milky Way inside, just caramel. Now, I’m not complaining? I love caramels? But talk about a brand association and not having it anywhere inside the actual product! (In my two days off last week, the candy supplies plummeted, so I picked a large quantity of post-Easter chocolate to keep the visitors happy.)

That’s it for today! Hump-de-Hump and all, and spring fever, and crazy fun connections being made all over the place. But none involving random wiring and my tongue. For now.

1. Hope springs eternal. You know how I know this? I signed up for International Scarf Exchange #6. Sigh. I just can’t help hoping for the best! And, I also signed up to be an angel, if someone (like me) gets dropped by her pal. Pay it forward and all.

2. Houlihan’s has this amazing Margarita Flight. You get three margaritas for under $10, and I’m not kidding, these are basically regular-sized margaritas, all with primo tequila. YUM.

3. It’s a small world. My new sales rep is best friends with a couple that we know and see a few times a year.

4. Every time I tell the story of a former boss (told to me by someone who came from there), I am going to cry from laughter. In addition to being a heavy drinker, at all hours of the day and night, apparently this person likes to target shoot (outside, on a farm). And invited some employees to come along and “blow off a little steam”. His way is what he likes to call his “Mad Minute”, where he RUNS while firing a non-stop stream of bullets from some AK-47-esque machine gun, and on this occasion, TRIPPED and the person who witnessed it thought they were all going to die. (I had to stop typing and come back because this image makes me laugh so fucking hard I almost get a headache.)

5. My buddy Kyra just got tazed, bro.

6. My buddy Beth just dodged a crazy-ass double-murder/double-battery/police-escapee trial. Wait! Correct that sentence structure. Dodged it by not being a juror!

7. I have not been selected for jury duty OR been tazed this year. Sigh. At least it’s still early.

8. I think this only makes hedgehogs more appealing. I love any creature that can become as addled as me. By simply a paper tube.

9. I am plotting and cooking up several ideas and notions. It’s exciting.

10. Tripper is a doofus and I adore him.

James says I’m giving him low self-esteem by calling him a dope, or a doofus, but I say because I say it with love in my voice, it’s only helpful. He’s just still incredibly awkward, and he’s bigger than Polly now, so everything he does just has this dopiness about it, because it should have its own sound-effects soundtrack. Gallumph!! and Waaaah-woooouuuwwww and SPLAT! He’s a good boy. But a doofus.

Polly agrees.